Relationships with a co-worker, a yes or no?

Question

The problem? This suitable match for me has just started working at the same place I do! Is it a mistake to date a co-worker? Okay, let's say that its not a mistake for a moment. I've been out of the dating world for over a year now, and I don't remember how to socialize with potential mates? I know you'll probably say 'just be yourself', well duh! But how do I take him out of the work environment to a social environment? And what type of environment would be suitable for getting to know him better? Eek, help!

Answer 1

But how do I take him out of the work environment to a social environment? And what type of environment would be suitable for getting to know him better?

If I were your dad, I would tell you to just be friendly around him, as to send a message. Then, the decisions you're contemplating will fall upon him. However, although it is normally a man's place to ask a woman out, I believe that a casual invitation to a dinner or barbeque might not be out of order. That, in my opinion would be the suitable environment, if this man is a real catch and is worth the bit of extra aggressive associated with the latter choice.

Answer 2

Stay away from dating co-workers. Tried it, done it, and don't want to do it again. It never works. I know that you spend 40 hours a week at the workplace and you will find someone there that physically attracts you. Don't do it. Happiness is separating your home life from your work life. Leave work at work including the co-workers.

This is what is going to happen when you start dating co-workers: 1) When out on a date you will invariably start talking about work. 2) You start becoming center of unwanted attention at work (gossip) 3) Your professional realtionship suffers as it causes tension in the workplace. 4) The big problem is if one of you is the supervisor and the other is the subordinate, you are opening yourself to potential sexual harrassment.

Seek love outside of work.

Answer 3

Relationships with co-workers are fine. A relationship is about your life, your job is not your life.

Get him out of the work place anyway you can, just about any event will do. Find something happening, it's summer so that should be little problem. You could go with a simple dinner, of course. Note one thing NOT to do is go see a movie....you can't get to know someone sitting in the dark for a couple hours and not talking.

Answer 4

To be honest, you really should not date a co-worker. It could make for very uncomfortable scenes in the workplace. For instance, if you have other guy friends that you've been eating lunch with, or go to the club with or something like that, he would be subject to think that you've dated them as well. Or say that one of your co-workers is play-flirting with you, he may overhear & take that seriously, then ask you about it. He may not believe you when you tell him nothing is going on. Men sometimes get territorial when they see other guys notice you more in the work place. It may seem more to them but the same to you. It's a risk you take. If you want to talk to him, ask him out, get an understanding then procceed with caution. You have to get to know a person to learn a person. Go someplace non-romantic such as bowling or to the game room if you both like that sort of thing. Maybe even somewhere casual like a local pool hall. (I've been out of the dating pool for a while myself, but you only live once & if you don't take the initiative to show him you're interested, he may never know & you may miss out).

Answer 5

An relationship could work if you don't let your relationship get involved with your work environment. Something simple; but not to simple like a dinner so you could talk over dinner. I know what you mean about the dating world. Im 19 and never dated anyone till about 2 weeks ago.

Answer 6

I know lots of friends who found eachother through the same work place and ended up getting married. So it does work. (Excuse the pun). You have to think about a couple of things. Does he have to interact with you professionally? i.e. Do you work in the same dept. How far away are your work areas/desks. Seeing eachother too much may not be a good idea if you are close. Are there any restrictions put in place by your employer. Some places put in restrictions on working relationships.
If you really want to make a go for it I do not see any problem. Just be professional in your demeanor at work and be yourself outside of work.

Answer 7

I say go for it. If it goes south, at least you will be back in practice for the next suitable match that comes along. Maybe you could get assigned to the same project? Ask him to lunch? Get a group of coworkers together and meet for drinks after work? If he is new in town he should appreciate the opportunity to make new friends. You could also (though this is risky) find out where he works out, goes to church, or hangs out and manage to bump into each other there.

Answer 8

There's a lot of extra risks asking out a co-worker. The only thing I would say you need to do is you're not working side by side. The only place that should be happening is when you are the owner of the workplace and your partner has the same last name as you.

Answer 9

Before you start ask yourself this: would it be uncomfortable at work if we went out and then broke up?
You don't move straight out into the social environment, you start by socializing at work, around the water cooler, coffee machine. When you go out for coffee, ask him if he wants anything, then bring him a coffee from Starbucks and a cake too. Say, 'thought you might like something sweet,' etc. A gradual progression is the trick here.

Answer 10

If you feel that both of your jobs won't be affected, than go for it. I would invite him 'out of the work environment to a social environment' by talking to him for a bit, than casually say "hey, wanna go out sometime?" An example: both of you wanna go see the same movie. He's been talking about it for a while. When it comes out, just say "(name of movie) comes out today. You wanna go see it together?" If he agrees, then maybe take him for a bite to eat. That would be an environment to get to know him better. Hope I helped.