Can someone help me with meal time battle with my 4 year old??

Question

I am looking for advice. I have a 4 year old son. Lately every meal has become a battle to get him to eat without some fuss. Everything is, "how many bites!" It is driving me mad! He does this even when I know he is hungry, usually when he wants to be doing something else...and no, I don't just let him go and not eat and do what it is he wants to do...but it is turning into where it would be hours (if I would let it go on). "How many bites, How many bites!" I just want to have a semi peaceful meal time. ( Or as peaceful as it can get with a 4 year old.

Some very good answers...besides the belt!! And not too fond of telling him he is going to be weak, etc. Anyways...thank you all for the insight and I plan on trying each piece of advice until I find one that works. I picked best answer based on what seemed like the simplest route to start with without "punishment" or taking away something. Again thank you all=)

Answer 1

Here is the answer you are looking for..I promise
When you fix his plate only put about a tablespoon of each food you are serving, Tell him that he has to eat everything on his plate and then he may have seconds of his choice and keep with the small portions. It will seem like not enough to you but he will eat what he needs. You are fighting over control of his eating, let him be empowered to choose, while you are in control. An adult portion looks overwhelming to a litttle person, that's why you are getting thehow many question.

Answer 2

I work in a daycare and this works great for us. The children have a choice whether or not to eat. They all must sit at the table but they decide how much they will eat. They learn very quickly how it feels to have an empty stomach.

I suggest telling your son that he needs to have as many bites as he needs until he feels as though he is no longer hungry.

Another suggestion is not creating a snack-dessert policy, or always make these snacks/desserts healthy, so as not to have a problem with "i'm full from supper but I want chocolate pudding" issues.

Answer 3

You have to look at the big picture. Is he getting enough calories over the period of a WEEK? You have to pick and choose your battles. This would not be one I would fuss over.

Here is breakfast. You dont want to eat, fine.....it will be put away and you can eat it for lunch. He gets no snacks until the breakfast is eaten. (I would make sure it was something that could easily be reheated so that it wouldnt be GROSS if left in the fridge or something).

You could also just make him sit with the family during meal times but NOT insist that he eats.

My pediatrician said that THIS is exactly how eating disorders can start---arguements over food.

He will NOT starve...........

Answer 4

Typical four year old! Mine's always wondering how many bites too. I've told him he has a choice, either finish his supper, or he will have to eat it for his evening snack (which is usually something fun like goldfish crackers or graham crackers). The trick to that it to make sure you follow through. Cover it and when he's hungry microwave it and serve it up. He'll figure out that the game's over in no time.

Answer 5

Best thing I ever did with my almost 4 year old daughter was stop fighting her. The battle had become a power struggle, and she was winning - she had my undivided attention (often angry) every meal. I simply told her that if she didn't want to eat, she didn't have to, but she did have to sit at the table while her father and I ate. She went hungry a couple of times (and still does sometimes, but rarely now), and she learned that "it takes two to tango", so if I wasn't going to play her game, there was no game to play.

Answer 6

It can be a chore but let him help you "cook". Let him shred the greens for the salad, or wash the veggies, or with direction set the table. When my daughter was involved in getting the meal on the table she was more inclined to eat. I would even coax her during the meal by telling her she could help with clean-up. It takes more time that you really don't have but whatever works.

Answer 7

My two yr. old don't like to always eat all her food either. WE use to just fight with her all the time but now we'll tell her a few times no she can't get down she has to eat then we will just say ok but nothing else till that gets eaten. Then when her sister gets ice cream or popcorn or something she'll finish it up in a hurry. You really don't want dinner time to be game time.

Answer 8

I have a 4 year old picky eater.I got him to eat just by talking to him.He is old enough to understand.Just talk to him like an adult.What i did is telling my son if he doesn't eat enough he is gonna be sick,he is gonna stay small,he won't be able to do anything that his friends do.I told him they gonna get big and strong and they won't play with him,cause he'll stay small and weak.And i told him he is gonna take medication all the time.With cherry flavor(he hates that flavor).And i didn't push him to eat.I left it up to him.At first i put his favorates in front of him.He said he won't eat it,i said fine.And i gave him just a little.
while talking to my husband he grabed a piece.I pretended i didn't see.Gradually he said i am not giving him enough food.He still doesn't eat alot,but he eats enough.And no snacks before meals.

Answer 9

just dont let it get to you
hes four
just keep in mind how silly and sweet he is
hes just four- he doesnt understand how stressed you are or what stress is
but
in the interst of answering your question-
my husband nd i decided that with three kids, dinner together was no longer peaceful
so
we feed the kids at six sharp
they have their meal
then when theyre in bad, we have ours
as for the counting of bites, can your kid read? maybe you can make a game oput of it, maybe like, write outa funny little list of how many bites he should take for each food item?

Answer 10

Instead of waiting for him to ask "how many bites" he HAS to eat, turn it into a game. Before he even asks, tell him, "I bet you CAN'T eat X number of bites of chicken!"