I feel like a big ugly loser. No guy wants me, Im 46, all men want is sex from me, no one is wanting a relationship other than that with me. Whats wrong with me?
I have never had a boyfriend, I was married once about 30 years ago for 6 years, he divorced me because he didnt want to be married to me anymore-no reason other than that. Since then, no long term relationship has come my way. I have no kids
Is that part of the reason?
I dont have any reason to live anymore, I have nothing
2006-08-03 15:26:43 · 10 answers · asked by chorizobagel 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Im not a *****, just the contrary, Im very good and sweet and generous, non clingy, dont nag,dont whine and dont make demands, I dont think I put out too fast, how long is too fast? Not the same day, but guys pressure you and dont see you anymore if you dont do the do
Please dont be mean, Im not trying to sound like a moron, I just dont know what to do and Ive turned to this avenue. Dont answer if you dont like my question
2006-08-03 15:43:56 · update #1
i no how u feel. it took me a long time and a lot of therapy 2 realize i am NOT a loser and my looks are ok. if a guy just wants sex then he isn't worth the trouble. there r guys, believe it or not, that don't want just sex, they want 2 get 2 no u and have fun---at least first. u hang on, hold your chin up high and don't be sooo depressed, men aren't worth it--at least the kind that r coming your way right now. Mr right is out there u just keep looking. u might want to consider a therapist also. they can really help u understand yourself and want U really want. then u can go for it!!
2006-08-03 18:31:30 · answer #1 · answered by crazy45 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To start with calling yourself a big ugly losing is just contributing to the depression. If you tell yourself something enough, it will get to where you believe it and it actually start to reflect it in your actions and the way you appear,whether or not you know it.
It is not you. If you have been with men that just want sex, then you should reanalyze things and think about where it is that you are meeting these men. Maybe that is the problem you may be linking up to the wrong crowd, not all men are that way.
As far as marriage, it seems like this day and age, people are looking for the easy way out They seem to leave marriages and relationships like it's nothing. They don't bother sitting and talking the problems out or seeking counseling or help , they just look for the easy way out . It seems like it is very very difficult to find a man that is looking for a long term commitment. It seems that people don't have time or they are just afraid of commitment.
The best advice I have for you, is to start going to places that are truly of interest to you. Places that meet your moral standards and values.
I know that this sounds like a terrible thing, but have you tried online singles sites. Many people have had success with those. Of course you have to be careful and follow your instincts. There are many people on these sites that are there because they are honestly seeking a long term relationship(at least most of them)
Try making yourself more available. remember this, don't ever change to please someone else, do it for yourself.
Do things for yourself that will make you feel good, when you feel good , you look good.
Just hang in there. Trust me, there is a man out there that is probably in the same predicament. You just have to make yourself more available.
Stop being so hard on yourself.
If you are that depressed, you should maybe talk to a counselor as well
2006-08-03 22:39:46 · answer #2 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are feeling so low. It's terrible to want to share yourself with others and find rejection. It sounds like you are very depressed. There are many things you can do, but I would start with talking to your primary care physician about anti-depressants and if they might help.
Some, like cymbalta and lexapro, can start to work in a couple of weeks, helping you see possibilities where today there are only dead ends.
What are your interests? What are your hobbies? What are your passions? What have you developed in yourself to bring joy and meaning to your life? Maybe you've been depressed for so long you can't remember.
Depression does seem to be clouding your thinking. For example, can you have never had a boyfriend, if you've been married? Your ex not wanting to be married to you anymore - why? Were things beautiful, happy, passionate, peaceful and one day he just left? Or did you pick a very disturbed man? Or were you a very disturbed woman?
It is possible, I suppose, that you will not find the best, most satisfying relationship you can imagine. However, I know without a doubt that if you want to have something in your life, that is within your control. You just have to choose it. You may only be able to do tiny steps towards your passion or goal, but if you are willing to do that, then you can have something, lots in fact, in your life.
In the meantime, you could go volunteer to talk with and visit lonely people at nursing homes or hospitals. Perhaps the loneliness each of you shared could help fill you.
2006-08-03 22:39:17 · answer #3 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not your age, I am 24 but I feel like you do. It seems guys think that I am an awesome friend and a wonderful person and they dont want to mess up our friendship.
But I have come to this conclusion, that if we are friends then why do they use me for sex. So I have stopped and I tell them that I am waiting on Mr. Right. I excerise more, I am more out going, and started to enjoy life. Trying doing somethings you havent done before. Maybe take a college course in something that interest you. Try joining single groups in your area. If you go to church or in your work if there are single invite them out, like everyone bring a dish and have a pot luck dinner, then play games, watch movies, something. You will be surprised how many single people are out there that are looking for others to hang out and become friends. Me and my single friends are going on a 7 day cruise in Janurary. Maybe you should try doing that. It is cheaper to book two at the same time, if friends dont mind sharing a room. Your young and have plenty of time to enjoy life!
2006-08-03 22:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by mandy_42003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look up The Landmark Education Corporation. They offer a fabulous three day, one evening semionar called The Forum. It is the stufy of being human, and covers exactly what you need.
YOu will recommit yourslef to a succesful life. INcidentally, if you need to, get into Codependents Anonymous and deal with the issues which come up therre. Also, you might need a makeovover. Maybe you don;t look or act young, but rahter, having an aged attitude and appearance.
2006-08-03 22:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a lot to live for, you dont need kids or a guy to be WORTH LIVING...
the problem you have is with yourself, id really suggest you start therapy, it really helps, people cant help you here just with words...
good luck
2006-08-03 22:32:07 · answer #6 · answered by RENE H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't be this depressed. Think of one good thing right now and you will feel better. Think of two more good things next, and after than, list up three. Please let me hear about them, too.
For example, you've got at least one good answer at Y!A....
2006-08-03 22:32:37 · answer #7 · answered by Kanda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, talk to a professional, your family and close friends.
By seeking professional help they will be able to help you.
2006-08-03 22:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by melissa w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu put out to fast or are a *****. It is one or the other.
2006-08-03 22:31:14 · answer #9 · answered by billyandgaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself to charity.
2006-08-03 22:43:28 · answer #10 · answered by flowerpowernower 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋