Living With Depression?

Question

I have recently turned 27. Ever since I can remember, I have lived with depression. Often times while I'm sitting in my apartment or at work I begin to think of when I was younger. I recall instances when I was as young as 8, waking up in the morning and putting on my school uniform while sobbing very quietly in hopes that mom would not hear. As a result, I was always late for school. Later on, at the age of 15, my parents shipped me off to a boarding school in dark and gloomy western Massachusetts (where I also attended college). While there, I began to see the school psychologist on a weekly basis. Eventually we became very good friends over the years. However, through all our sessions, I never really felt that he helped much. Looking back , it seems like he basically just nodded his head and agreed with all of my crazy ideas and or opinions. I have tried all types of medication, counseling, and spiritual healing....(whatever that is). So, here is my question. Am I doomed ?

The best answer will recieve 20pts. You will recieve instructions on how to collect the last 10pts via email (provided you've posted your info) if your answer is selected as the very best. Best of luck to all who attempt to answer effectively.

Answer 1

I am also suffering from depression, and have been since about 5. I only know 5 because that's how far back my memory goes. I hav ebeen to numerous doctors, stress centers, shrinks and not a damn one has helped. I have spent thousands of dollars for nothing. I know I cannot answer your question, but I know how you feel. A lot of people don't understand. I have always thought that my mind just worked differently than everyone else's. It's like I think too much, you know? I have always felt different and just never knew how to explain it. I have been on every kind of med there is, but still nothing has helped. Now I am at a point where I have no insurance, so I can't even get help if I wanted. It honestly affects everything I do. I am sure you feel the same way. I wouldn't say you are doomed, and I don't think I am either. I think there is help, you just have to go through a lot to get there. I just hope you know that there are other people like you. I know that does nothing for you, but it alwyas makes me feel a little better knowing that I am not hte only plagued by this. Feel free to E-mail me Maybe we can share some experiences and shed some light on each other. Or not. You don't have to do nothing. Good luck. I really feel for you.

Answer 2

Ahh, I can remember thinking the same things back in the days of yore (which was a couple of days ago actually.) Now I'm no pyschologist (though my own pyschologist thought I was pretty smart), but it seems to me that you seem to be suffering from some sort of trauma based on past memories. Many people probably told you to get over it, and I for one know that it's not easy. First, why do these thoughts bother you so much? It's probably because when you were developing (8 years) you remember a lot of things. Since I don't know what you were upset about all I could say is that, you may be upset, but there is nothing for you to be sad or ashamed about, you are better then you think (you got an education, you got a job).

Now it also seems that your enviroment was a source of some of this depression. Your environment has a really big impact on how you feel. However, I am sure there were something that was cheerful or comforting about where you went to college. It may take some thinking but I'm sure you can think of some things. In fact you may think of enough that you realize it wasn't so gloomy after all. You probably believe there are more bad things then good things about your college, but that is probably just what they call, the "ink problem" (how a clear glass of water (the good thoughts) can be spoiled by a single drop of ink (bad thoughts) Was there really many bad moments, or is your mind just focused on a few.

Lastly, I can not tell you what to think, however, I do have to tell you, no matter how many medication you take or doctors you go to, the first step toward being free of depression has to start with you willing to make that step. A good book to check out is Mind Over Mood, http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0898621283/sr=8-3/qid=1154658597/ref=pd_bbs_3/002-9538233-0083261?ie=UTF8. Just know that whatever happens, you are, and never will be doomed.

Answer 3

My Friend,

If this is a research project, I wish to commend you on a creative way to garner answers. If you are really someone who deals with clinical depression, I wish to send you love and light for your situation.

I cannot put myself in your shoes, but I can relate to your feelings. Frequent depression without relief gives rise to hopeless feelings. It may seem to you that there is no cure, but I want to hold out some hope to you that there are brighter days ahead.

Although my experience may not parallel yours, there must be many ways in which we walk similar paths. I can tell you that I understand, but that would be an empty gesture.

Two years ago, I was destitute and had made several attempts at suicide. In spite of my deplorable circumstances, people believed in my intrinsic worth and did their best to help me. Due to my penury, I found myself under the care of a Physician’s Assistant at Spokane’s Denny Murphy Clinic.

None of the 15 medications I had tried over the years seemed to do much good. The Wellbutrin that I had been taking for 3 years was acting more like a CNS depressant than an anti-depressant.

I remember sitting in the treatment room, crying, barely able to communicate my despair. PA Michael Yourzek assured me that there was hope for someone like me. He left the room and called a psychiatrist who consults with the clinic on a part-time basis.

Lamictal, a mood stabilizer, was recommended. The results were miraculous. Later I was able to go off Wellbutrin and my energy level improved dramatically.

Today, I feel like I am living a normal life.

I hasten to say that medications do not provide all of the solutions to depression. Some people are depressed because they are not following the true desires of their hearts. They are working in endeavors that do not match their passions. This was true in my case.

I would encourage you to seek activities that resonate with your deepest interests. This will be a powerful antidote to depression. You will wake up every morning excited about what new relationships and experiences will come to you.

Please know that you are more than a diagnosis. Many great men and women have suffered from depression.

The answers will come. The support system that you need is available to you. As the light dawns in your soul, you will become a stronger and more compassionate person. A vibrant life awaits you. A vibrant life is within you.

Answer 4

I assure you that you are NOT doomed. That idea is coming from your depression. It's not that you have tried all different kinds of meds-it might be the combination of drugs. This may sound extreme, but have you ever heard of ECT? It is used on extremely depressed people and has had a lot of success. I know this because I am bipolar and I had to have it done when I was really depressed-and it did help me. I have taken just about all drugs out there-you just name one and I bet I have been on it. But, after a LOT of trial and error-my doc found the right combonation for me. It only took 4 years and the RIGHT doctor!! I also believe you haven't found the right psychologist either. You need to find one who you can be totally honest with and who will help you deal with all of this. A really good one will aide you in determining why you are feeling this way-and will not only listen to you-but ask you questions to help YOU find a way to deal with this illness-and it IS an illness. Try going on the web to the national mental health site. Or do a google search for all the information that is out there. You might be suprised at all you will find.
Finally, if you feel your doctors aren't doing anything, keep searching until you find one!

Answer 5

No your not doomed you just haven't found the right counsellor or the right meds. That can be difficult it can take alot of misses before finding the solution. You should maybe try being in a support group in your area?? Depression sucks and it can be very lonely. They say its lonely at the top well it sure is lonely at the bottom too. I don't think people who have never suffered clinical depression can ever truly understand what people with depression go through. Good luck finding the right help. Oh and by the way you are already doing something right for yourself - you are reaching out to others for answers.
And don't listen to espee - sadness and pessimism is by choice. Clinical depression is not - it is an upset of the chemicals in your brain - it does not produce enough serotonin..........any doctor will tell you that and you can check for yourself right now on the thousands of online sites for depression.

Answer 6

Oh dear,

Your not doomed! Each body/spirit/mind is so different from the next. I have found that depression is so many forms.
Keep a hand written journal or blog on your daily feelings, moods and what you ate/drank/ sleep/medicine and so on.

You are the best help for you! Use what works an abandon all things that don't work for you. If it is indeed chemical and medicine is needed, than be aware that "not" all meds work the first time and be very attentive to yourself. Watch your personality and log it. Best wishes with this journey!

Answer 7

Honey 2 points is just fine. First of all my life began with parents and divorce and i was just about 8 myself. Wish they had sent me to boarding school and at least had someone to listen to me. We couldn't afford those luxuries. I was child abused physically and mentally and molested by a family friend at 9. A lot to deal with for a kid huh. well what don't kill you will make you stronger. I take medications now. I use this site as a way to help others and by researching answers take my mind off my problems. But for some reason when I read your caption It reminded me of myself. No one is going to make it better for you that you have to do for yourself. You have to forgive those who have caused you pain or its hard to move on. The medication helps it by no means is a cure but a good Friend who understands and lets you vent and when you finally sort it out and get to the point that you realize I didn't cause the problem, I was not sent away because I was bad..... I am a good person, people like me because of my since of humor.....and yes some-days that Valium is necessary because walking out the door sends your hart beating 90 miles an hours but with your friends and good family nothing is impossible. I deal with more than depression and have also raised a severely disabled child, your welcome to more details if you like just remember God doesn't make junk:-) Feel free to chat anytime, your friend Kelly

Answer 8

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Answer 9

You control your own destiny. I have had similar problems my whole life as well. I'm sorry. The worst part (to me) is how utterly alone and cut-off you can feel. I hope you're able to share with friends. In my experience, one or two really close friends are worth a gaggle of therapists. To borrow from John Irving, "You just have to keep passing the open windows..." Good luck.

Answer 10

no, keep trying. I also have lived with depression for mostly all of my life. You just need to continue trying medications, combos of meds, different doctors. Its exhausting I know, but eventually hopefully, you will find the right combo, the right doctor and a better state of mind.