2006-08-03 15:09:17 · 15 answers · asked by ... 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what is the best time to go to the dentist?????? tooth-hurty
(please buy it!!!)
2006-08-03 15:17:26 · answer #1 · answered by monkey jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Chicken and The Horse
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse fall's into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina
10. Immediately go shopping for a vibrator
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
8. See if he could finally do a split
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping-pong ball 20 feet
6. Cross his legs without rearranging his crotch
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 20 minutes
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too
1. Finally find that damn G-Spot
Things a Woman Would Do if She Woke up with a Penis
10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world
9. Get a bl**job
8. Find out what is so fascinating about "beating the meat"
7. Pee standing up
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently
5. Find out what it is like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
4. Touch/shift herself in public without a thought as to how improper it might seem
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member, which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement
1. Repeat #9
2006-08-03 22:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by mafia man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why did the Redneck Central Library have to close?
A: The book was checked out.
Q: After the book was returned, the library wouldn't lend it out again. Why not?
A: All the pictures had been colored in.
2006-08-03 22:38:30 · answer #3 · answered by Christopher M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i hav one, i know im blonde and i shouldnt talk bout other blondes but this is funny:
A blonde, brunette, red head meet a witch on top of a cliff, the witch said you will jump off this cliff and the first thing you say is what you will turn into.
The brunette said Eagle and she turned into an eagle and flew away
The red head said Hawk and she turned into that and flew away
The blonde began to run and she tripped over the edge and said CRAP!
need i say any more?
2006-08-03 22:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by xXx*dixie*xXx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont u post a joke to make everyone laugh. I like people literally taking efforts to make others laugh. Even i do that.....trust me.
2006-08-03 22:22:02 · answer #5 · answered by Rajesh K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are so many Italians named Tony?
Because when they came over on the boat they stamped TO NY on their forehead.
2006-08-03 22:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by jesuispizza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey check this out from yu mamma. Your teeth so yellow so that when you smile you look like Pittsburgh steeler harmet
2006-08-03 22:42:32 · answer #7 · answered by problemsolver86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A clean one for the kiddies...
What's invisible and smells like Carrots?
Bunny Farts!
2006-08-03 23:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by Tonks_Fan! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo mama so ugly she makes Freddy Kuger looks sexy.
2006-08-03 22:20:09 · answer #9 · answered by LA Streets2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this joke sucks but my little cuz told me it
What do you call a fish with out one eye
A:Fsh
2006-08-03 22:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by MissDots <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a hotel elevator, a man accidentally elbows the lady's breast.
man: if your heart is as soft as your breast, u will forgive me.
lady: if your bird is as hard as your elbow, i'm in room 69!
2006-08-03 22:23:52 · answer #11 · answered by jongbong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋