How do I deal with my mother-in-law?

Question

First I should say that I am engaged and not married yet, but she is still in my life and I am getting to the point to where I cant stand her. She is constantly telling me not to do this and don't do that. She is also telling my partner the same thing. She is coming between us and right now she controls my pratner's life. My lover and I are in a long distance relationship and the Monster-in-law says that I owe her $600 and my partner wont let me pay (as if i wanted to) She claims that she is ok with me but in my eyes we are mortal enemies.

I am going to move in with my partner in April, and I am going to stay there for about 9 or 10 months. Then my partner and I are going to go out on our own. I need some tips on how to co-exist with my monster-in-law. Any Advice??

Answer 1

Remember, you're always somebody's child until your parents are dead.
Parents will always feel they compulsion to "raise you" (your lover). Eventually, they must learn to let go and respect your (your lover's) choices without interference.
In order for this to happen, one must put their foot down and establish some boundaries. If not, the offending parent will continue to impose their choices on you (your lover). They will learn that they can get away with second-guessing, belittling, and condemning your (your lover's) choices. This is where you are at right now.
If this continues, it is only because you (your lover) allows it to. Create some distance and do not let her do you any favors, or give you anything. The the m-i-l will feel that you (your lover) owe them something, and that she has the right to impose on you. She is driving a wedge between you two and she knows it.
Your lover should put a stop to it, if he values you and the relationship.
Maybe he is afraid to. You are the one he picked, but she is being manipulative. Find a way to do things without her help. And for him, tell him to gather his courage and confront her (in front of you) and stand up for the relationship, his partner (you) and HIMSELF.
She will learn to back off and respect you two at some point....
Good luck and take care!

Answer 2

there really is nothing that you can do. i have a monster in law too and the first time that i ever met her was when we went to visit there. we ended up staying there for 2 months and the thought of that time period makes my toes curl. the best thing that i can tell you is to make sure that there is always a line of communication open between you and your partner because this is going to put a lot of stress on your relationship. i remember when we were there when my husband and his father would go out together during the day and i was there with her, if i went out of the room for 15 min she would tell my husband that i was avoiding her all day. there really isnt much you can do to stop it, you just have to find ways to adapt to it. good luck!!

Answer 3

I'm sorry to say this, but you will NOT last the 9 or 10 months. Someone will get murdered. You will NEVER change her mind, so the best you can do is do a much as you can stomach, refuse to do what you can't and hope and pray no one goes to the hospital. Try to be overpoweringly sweet and cooperative, or be so obnoxious, SHE'LL want to move out. Man, I DO NOT envy you. I hated my mother-in-law, too. But I'm divorced now, but that will be a question I'll address on "marriage & divorce" in a couple years. Savvy!

Answer 4

Get a callerID and do not reply the mobile. Best resolution. I used to have a kind of monster-in-legislation. Get rid of the husband and the monster-in-legislation went away. Voila! I have no idea why will we need to have a mom out legislation. They are extra predicament than valued at it. What are you able to do if you happen to can not manage the in legislation? Some Christian are the phoniest persons on the earth.

Answer 5

Does she say why you owe her $600? Before you move in make sure you have your own space, and everyone understands some general guidelines... it will be tough but I'm sure you can get through it

Answer 6

well if you really love her then you will have to deal withit and not give up welcome to the world... Mother in laws have there unique way of trying you out to see if you are fit for there daughter and if they can trust you if you win her trust then things will get alot better faster, but if you fail well what can i say... Always show her the uttmost respect and try her way if it dont work then she will see you are at least willing to listen, and then you show her how smart youare... but remember you are taking her body with you her little girl will not be there for mom to pick up thepieces so remember this for we parents dont really want to let go, but when we decide to we want the best for our kids and the same will go for you as you have kids, remember she is mostly trying you out testing you to see if you are fit to take over....

Answer 7

WOW! I feel for you hun. Prayers and blessings sent out for ya. Monster-in-laws never get better>>>Get the woman you love and get away from the outlaws as fast as you can. ..>Good Luck

Answer 8

his mother is law is a ***** she said i was a coward and trying to hide from the law or soemthing like that all because i go by midnight..hey if everyone had yor name your hate your name to..thats why i went by midnight..and brian's lover come up to visit him and she said she owed him thsi and that when the ***** said she was going to pay for everything...and **** so yeah

Answer 9

Just pretend as if she isnt there. If she tells you not to do somthing that you feel is right just do it anyway. i'm only 12 so my advise dousnt make a dif. but thats okay i'm used to it.

Answer 10

All mother in-laws do this. just hang in there and do all you can to make her happy until you move out.. it sucks. but sometimes you have to go through pain to see happiness