What do I do if I am public speaking and suddenly get a really itchy butt?

Answer 1

prevent it! that happens when your skin there is irritated or has bacteria growing.

Answer 2

Oh.. this is an easy one.

I'm a retired professional speaker, (part-time for a traveling revival group,) and I've had plenty of experience with exactly this kind of problem.

Here's what to do: You change up your pace just a tad and move into "can I have volunteer from the audience" mode. Try to get a bigger man or woman - women are best if you're a guy because... well you'll see when I get there.

Once you get your mark ... pardon me, I meant, your volunteer... on stage with you, give 'em a nice handshake and greeting and then pull' em into a hug right away - hold 'em close to the cheek that itches and go for it like there's no tomorrow. Got it? For guys, a women volunteer, one of the BBW type, works great because they like it so much. They don't want you to ever let go of them - so you can take your time and scratch yer-arce til it bleeds if you need to... see? Afterwords you can just ask the volunteer a dumb question and send 'em packin' back to their seat. (but,of course, if you see an opportunity to snatch up a necklace or a nice bracelet while you've got 'em in that all-day scratch-butt-hug... well then... you know about who gets a helping hand by helpin' themselves.)

So.... rock-of-ages on, Dude

WWW r u randy? WWW

Answer 3

Not difficult at all. Butt is always below the podium level, unless you are an acrobat on a lec-dem tour. So scratching shouldn't be that difficult. Take training from an 'experienced' public speaker. Others just scratch the surface.

Answer 4

As one who meditates, the same thing comes up - an itch anywhere and you don't want to move while deeply meditating. I scratch it in my mind - it works most of the time. Really!

Another option for you is to scratch somewhere else on your body that you can scratch in public and sometimes that will make the original itch subdue.

Or, call for a break and scratch anything you want.

Answer 5

Wiggle your glutious maximus (through muscular control) once or twice to try to find relief. If that is not acceptable, pretend to be removing your handkerchief from your pocket to wipe your brow, (yes your mother was correct and you should have one in your pocket). If that doesn't relieve you, make a quick scratch under the guise of adjusting your trouser position, beltline and jacket.

If all else fails, rather than blowing your presentation, scratch your ***!

Answer 6

Make sure you stand up and look the public straight in the eye. Look to the side and look startled. This will make the audiences shift their eyes to see what you're startled about and during that split second, scratch like you've never scratched before man!

Answer 7

Apart from practising the speech ... practising itchy butt scratching without being noticed can be useful when speaking publicly ... haha ...

Answer 8

You just say "Excuse me folks, I have an itchy a$$. Can I get a volunteer from the audience to come up here and scratch it for me?"

Answer 9

There once was a girl from Natches
Whose clothes were always in patches
When asked why this was
She replied, 'It's because...
Whenever I itches, I scratches.'

Gandhi said we must be the changes we wish to see in the world.

Don't you want to live in a world where it's okay to itch when you scratch?

Be a leader, not a follower.

If you're still too uptight to scratch it, here, let me help you...

Answer 10

work it into your speech like " you people give me a pain in the butt, Let me illustrate" Then you can scratch with reckless abandon cause they'll think is part of the sthick. ooh wait even better tell every one that your doing a reverse Micheal Jackson Impression rather then grabbing your crotch go for the buns.

Answer 11

get a proper shower before u r going to give ur speech.
otherwise, etiquette calls for ignoring any itching partsof body, especially butt. u will have to suffer and go on with ur speech!:)