How does one go about coming out of the "broom closet"?

Question

There are only really a couple people that know i'm pagan, my mother, and a couple of friends. My father wont accept it what so ever so he doesnt know, and i dont know how to go about telling people without being shunned.

I understand that I dont need to announce it to the whole world, I wasnt really planning to, but the people around me, thats why i asked the question.

Answer 1

You'll be surprised how tolerant some people can be. Maybe not your father, but your friends.

Keep your attitude light, present this as something positive (it is!), be prepared to give a short spiel about what it is and why you're part of it.

You don't have to run out and tell everyone right away. Wearing a pentacle will make it come up. You can also mention your beliefs in discussions on religion (and then there's Halloween/Samhain coming up!) One thing I learned is to say what Paganism *is* rather than *is not*. Saying a lot of "we don't do this" will put bad images into others' minds, so just talk about the things that drew you to this path, and then if someone has a negative stereotype or question, address it then.

It *will* get back to your father, so be prepared for that, too.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Don't listen to tuflady first of all. Some people don't understand how difficult society can be when you aren't christian. The only people I really felt I had to discuss my beliefs with were my children, reason being is that I felt that they had a right to know.
Your beliefs are yours alone and you shouldn't have to worry about advertising it. It's your freedom and right. If you feel that you will be shunned, then I am sad for you. No one should have to feel scared to share their beliefs with others.

Personally, I learned a long time ago that either you accept me for the person I am or not. I don't hide the fact that I'm Pagan, I have a tattoo of the Goddess and triple moon on my left fore arm which have actually sparked some good conversations.

I guess what I am trying to say is do what feels right to you, and if someone doesn't understand or like it, then that is their loss.

Answer 3

Don't.

Your religion, along with your sexuality is not something that needs announcing. If you believe in your gods, and you have a personal relationship that's all you really need.

I thought about "comming out" about being pagan (which is weird, becuase i was raised this way but never realized it until I started to seek a religion). Ie became more important for me to fully understand what I believe than it was to tell others. I've found that over time "comming out" as often meant people seeing it in my, my tattoo of the tri-moon, or my alter. Or talking about god with me there, and me offering up my ideas.

But comming out? Announcing it? Think about it, why do you need that? Go on the web, find yourself a nice descret pentagram, or a moon pendant or whatever you associate most strongly with (I wear a wheel of the year or a pentagram with a moon in it) and let people ask YOU. It takes the weirdness from your end and allows those on the other side to ask if they're comfortable with it, or not it they're not.

Answer 4

If it comes up in conversation, then mention it, but I don't think I'd go out of my way to say, "Oh, hey, by the way, I'm Wiccan (or Pagan, or whatever your path is)!"

If you have a pentacle or other piece of jewelry, wear it without worrying about hiding it (in appropriate situations - there are some places that IMHO it's just not worth the conflict that it will cause, and you'll know when those are), and if someone notices and asks, then you can answer.

It's part of who you are, and it's not something to be ashamed of. If you want others to treat it like it's no big deal, then you need to set the tone, IMHO, by not hiding it, but not being "in your face" about it, either.


BTW, to Tuflady - it's not a question of being ashamed of it, it's a question of not being discriminated against because of it.

Or do you think the Christians were using the fish symbol in the first century because they were ashamed of being Christian?

Answer 5

If they can't accept you for who you are then they don't deserve to be your friend. I'm a Wiccan and the close ones in my family understand. I won't tell some areas of my family because word will get around and if people like my great grandmother found out I'm afraid that she'll have a heart attack. My friend called me a few weeks ago and started to cry for me because she thinks I'm going to hell. She still believes this but is learning to live with what I believe because I live with what she believes. I still love her and she still loves me. She doesn't shun me. You just have to hope that those who really care about you can learn to live with what you choose to believe in if they can't then it just sucks. Life sucks. We just have to learn to live with it and move on to a new tomorrow. If I only had one person who understood then that would be something that I have to look forward to. With any religion you are probably going to be shunned by someone at one point. You just have to have the strength to stand up for what you believe in.
Blessed be.

Answer 6

It's up to you really.. you could practice forever, and do so in private without people knowing, and still be happy.

However, as you become more independent, and less reliant on other's "approval", you will naturally just let people know what you like and what you believe, and not be too worried about what they think of you.. after all, you want to have people around you who accept you for who you are.. not what they would have you be instead..

Answer 7

Wow, I once thought of taking that path yet right now I don't really know where I am, I wish you good luck on trying to show ppl that being pagan/wiccan isn't a crime in fact it is a very peaceful religon!

Don't give up!

Answer 8

If you pay your own bills then tell everbody what you think. If somebody else is paying your bills make them happy. If your afraid of being shunned by people that love you, doesn't that give you a clue about the validity of your actions

Answer 9

This is an interesting question. I wounder why it matters. No I am not dis ing you. I am just wondering why does it matter that you should find it necessary to release information that could be difficult for others. *shrug* See if you can find something on it in Witchvox.

Answer 10

feel around for a door knob with your hand, when you grasp it, turn it and it should open the broom closet door. Then when you come out, call Ellen DeGeneris or Rosie.