There are something's ONLY southerner's know?

Question

Willys cynical thought for the day;

Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the fugging others!

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines... and when we're "in line," .... we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, . all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could!" Muaaa-ha-ha-ha-haha!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; Willys Jokes archives! Best jokes, anywhere!

Answer 1

Thank you so much for placing this here.
My Papal pasted on a few years ago and well, Never thought I'd hear or see this stuff again. You have lightened my load a little.
You have takin me back and made me remember who I am and I salute you Willy. Thanks a bunch and a GREAT BIG YEEEHHHAAWW to ya.
OH, by the way I never had ANY IDEA what grits were made of. LMAO but dam if they aint good.

Answer 2

I suppose any time infantrymen have fought for his or her executive, correct or mistaken, they need to be identified. People do not notice the Civil War was once fought for extra factors than simply slavery {appear it up}. They additionally do not notice that many African-Americans fought at the Southern facet {they usually weren't pressured to}. I am definitely towards slavery, however any one who's towards the South for it must notice that it isn't our fault NOW and matters have transformed radically. Not serious about the greater, however they have got transformed. I suppose people who are towards the Confederacy must do their homework earlier than they expect it was once all approximately slavery they usually must honor American infantrymen who fought and died for his or her executive {now not in contrast to Vietnam} it doesn't matter what. .

Answer 3

I feel Ya (ima hip southerner) You had me until the tomatoe with egg (are we talking about salsa for a breakfast burrito, oh, maybe you mean white southerners.... or the "real South", you know everywhere but TEXAS) TEXAS is the most southern place. Oh wait, I forgot, TEXAS is a country all by itself.

God Bless Texas (and Ford)

Answer 4

A man was about to kill himself by jumping from a bridge in the south. A real southern belle stopped her car and called to him
"Child don't jump think of your momma and pappa"
which he replied "my mother and father are dead - I'm jumping!"
She called back "then think of your wife and children - don't jump"
he answered "I'm not married and I don't have children - I'm jumping"
She tried again "Well then think of Robert E. Lee"
and he called back "Whose that"
her reply was "Well bless your heart you go ahead and jump your Yankee @ss right off that bridge."

Answer 5

grits with a lot of butter and bacon...oh yeah. it's worth the calories. i love the south!

Answer 6

Ok, darlin' I'm fixin' ta give ya Southerness 101, lesson 1!
Plural of ya'all,
Is 'ya'allin's'...say it ..... ya'allin's...that's better!
# 2....How to make butter....
"why..Howdy Darlin' " (emphasis on Darlin')

; ) My money says you'd melt! ; )

Oh....Bad Witch! ha ha ha ha

Answer 7

Frankly, My Dear, I couldn't have said it better!

Bravo! LOL.

Oh, yes, indeedy!

Answer 8

yea dont forget we never have a bag its always a poke

Answer 9

lol... thats insightful and good to know

Answer 10

wow you are right.