WTF, is his problem?

Question

About a three months ago, I asked this guy out, that I really like, to a wedding of friend of mine. He told me then that he would look into it and see if his family reunion was at the same time and he would let me know. I was honestly surprised that he didn't say no. So I waited until I received the invite to remind him to see if he would be free. He said he would check and get back with me. That was three weeks ago. I reminded him last week, he said the same thing. He said he's let me know tomorrow. Well that has past. I asked him again yesterday, and he said he hasn't had the time to check, that he has more important things to do than think about some stupid f***ing wedding! If he doesn't want to go why doesn't he just say no. If he had said no three weeks ago, my feelings wouldn't have been hurt. But after his response yesterday, my feelings are hurt and I feel humilated. Why do some men have to be this way? Wtf, is his problem? If only I had a crystal ball to find out.

Answer 1

This is my pet peeve.
All the time, women are told not to assume guys are mind readers, and then they refuse to communicate in a clear and decisive manner.
WE AREN'T MIND READERS EITHER! Argh!

Answer 2

as a general rule teenage guys pressuming you are both under 21, do not care for weddings they think them stupid. more fool the jerks.
so simply put there is no way that the childish boy in question will ever go to the wedding with you as either just friends or as anything else. so ask someone else to go with you if you realy want to go with someone.
besides which, as the wedding is not going to be anyone that the guy knows the only person he will know at the wedding would be you, so if he feels uncomfortable surrounded with people whom he does not know he will always say NO!
He is jusat being an imature jerk. he does not care about your feelings. and with you just constantly asking him he may have felt pressured in to it. he may even have thought you wanted him to get an idea as to a wedding between the two of you.

Look you did nothing wrong in asking him to go to the wedding in principle. however if you had not been friends or even boyfriend and girlfriend before asking him to this event it is a very big step and would take a very strong and confident guy to go to a wedding with someone he hardly knew.
i suspect that this was going to be like a first real date, not a good idea. even a boyfriend of several months standing would have trouble going to a wedding of people he hardly knew.

your mistake was in (if i'm right) asking a guy who you hardly know to a family wedding, never a good idea for a new relationship.

as for why some men have to be like that, it is because they have been taught no better by either there parents or teachers.
as for you feeling humiliated, sorry to read that, but you only have yourself to blame here presuming i'm right and this was like a first date.

think about it he said no without saying no, he said he thinks a family reunion was around the same time? he would have known this off the top of his head or atleast he should have done. he said no by not actually teling you that he would get back to you. again another tactic used by some guys with comunication problems when they want to say no but fear upsetting the person asking the question.

Answer 3

Get over him and walk away. He's not important, obviously, because you're not important to him. You're better than that and you don't deserve to have a man treat you like crap. Go to the wedding with a good friend, have a terrific time and forget all the problems that have preceded. Some men just like the attention that women give to them when the women ask the men out, and it seems like this guy is the ultimate jerk. Don't let him play the game with you, and don't let any other guy do it either. You have a right to be angry but turn the anger into something useful, and focus the energy on having a good time at the wedding to spite that stupid man. His loss, not yours. And don't feel humiliated, he's a nobody.

Answer 4

No problem. He was trying to let you down easy(aka:was too spineless to tell you he is not interested because he thought you'd be hurt). You kept asking him instead of taking the hint so he finally lost his patience and acted like a rude dweeb so you'd leave him alone. It's not politically correct to say so, but I have found that it is best not to ask guys out-except friends you are not interested in. I strongly suggest you read "He is just not that into you. The no excuses guide to understanding guys" by Greg Behrendt(from Sex and the City) and Liz Tuccillo. It helped me to break it off with a total loser and kept me from being strung along by another. I think it will spare you from many more experiences like this. In the mean time, keep your chin up. Every girl and boy (for all that matters) has lost a few times so there is no shame in that or reason to feel humiliated. It has happened to the best of us.

Answer 5

He probably thought you would just drop it and not ask him again. Did you tell him that if he had just said no three weeks ago, your feelings wouldn't have been hurt? Don't feel humiliated; he should have told you from the get-go that he didn't want to go to the wedding. He sounds like an egocentric male who thinks that everything should, and does, revolve around him. Find a new guy, 'cause this guy is not a keeper.

Answer 6

That's very normal. Some guys just dont know how to reject an offer, or say no. Put in positive view, he must care about your feeling and afraid to hurt you. However, some people sometimes think that an invitation to wedding means committment. Unless you both are dating, i think he is freak out with the idea of going to wedding, while at the same time afraid to dissapoint you.

Answer 7

because some guys like to play head games and they are to insecure to be honest. After the second time he made excuses to you, you should have given him a time frame and if he did'nt get back to you with a straight answer tell him you would find someone else to ask. It would have saved you the heartache you felt. I know how that feels been there felt that way to many times, stupidly with the same guy.I'm sorry you went thur that.

Answer 8

Well who knows what his deal is? Maybe something's come up. Maybe he just doesn't want to go and is handling it the wrong way. Some people feel that by ignoring an undesireable situation (ignoreing/putting it off) it will just go away. Maybe that's his alternative to saying no to you. Who knows? Either way, I hope you find yourself a guest to take to the wedding that's worth your time.

Answer 9

In life you come to learn that there are some people who just cant say "no"

I am one of them.

Especially when it comes to friends, & relationships. Its just easier for some people to say,

"i dont know,"

"maybe"

"let me know the date and time and then i'll give you an answer"

etc etc etc

and you just hope they get the hint.

some people do, and they give up. (phew)

but others just keep asking and asking until your thinking to yourself, "jeez whats that persons problem, cant they take a hint."

Dont take it personally honey. Its his problem, not yours and next time you have to see or speak to him, just take a deep breath, and act as if nothing has happened and you are completely over it.

Just dont ever ask him to go anywhere with you again - he'll soon realise that he's missed out.

Answer 10

Poor dear. This sorry sack of rat mess doesn't care about anyone but himself. He's probably being noncommittal so he can back out if a bigger and better deal presents itself. Run. Go and enjoy the wedding with someone else, or by yourself. Who knows, you could meet someone nice!