I’m running out of tears to cry myself to sleep at night
When thinking about you and everything you said to me
I can’t believe what I’m experiencing today
My life is suppresses by the feelings I still have for you
Because I love you
To bad we are no longer meant to be
I dream about you coming back for me
And I wish that we can live like we used to be
But I guess it’s all just a fantasy
I need you to live more then I need the air to breathe
Because you are the only thing that can make me completely happy
When you’re with me I can’t ask for anything more to satisfy me
But even thought you are everything to me
I can not picture myself back with you
How could I except your apology
After all this time you’ve wasted on nothing
If u did truly loved me you wouldn’t have needed time to think
You thought this was all a game
Just as it got harder you could simply leave!!
I wish I didn’t love you
Because
I’m running out of tears to cry myself to sleep
please commit on it!
2006-08-03 14:25:38 · 13 answers · asked by hotloverxo328 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I’m running out of tears to cry myself to sleep at night (take out "myself to sleep", because saying "i'm running of of tears to cry at night" sounds stronger)
When thinking about you and everything you said to me (take out "when")
I can’t believe what I’m experiencing today (you should mention something about "everyday" in the next line)
My life is suppresses by the feelings I still have for you (supressed is how you spell it and it seems like the wrong word anyways)
Because I love you (and I'm sorry I never told you?)
To bad we are no longer meant to be ("too bad", and that's very cliche)
I dream about you coming back for me (to me)
And I wish that we can live like we used to be ("i wish things could go back to what it used to be" and talk about what you want it to be like, then how it's only in your dreams)
But I guess it’s all just a fantasy (don't hyphenate words, use conjunctions or anything like that. get all your words out. it sounds stronger that way)
I need you to live more then I need the air to breathe (my need to have you with me is stronger than my need for air to breathe, baby please come back to me)
Because you are the only thing that can make me completely happy (...i'm not feeling this line)
When you’re with me I can’t ask for anything more to satisfy me (talk more about how special "he" is, not about how you can't ask for anything more)
But even thought you are everything to me (even with all these dreams and fantasies...)
I can not picture myself $back with you (the thought of you back with me is unreal)
How could I except your apology (because i just can't accept your apology)
After all this time you’ve wasted on nothing (after all this time i wasted on you)
If u did truly loved me you wouldn’t have needed time to think (if i meant anything at all, you wouldn't have left me behind)
You thought this was all a game (playing with my heart--it's not a game)
Just as it got harder you could simply leave!! (just as i started to really care, you quit)
I wish I didn’t love you (perfect)
(and i wish the dreams and fantasies would go away) Or something to that effect...
Because
I’m running out of tears to cry myself to sleep
such a teen angst poem, it's not real poetry in my opinion, but it is nice. if it's a way to get your feelings out, go for it sweetheart.
2006-08-03 14:35:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nice! I think it comes straight from your heart! LIfe will go on and you'll get bye, so dry those eyes no need to cry Tomorrow is another day, you'll find another prince to kiss your tears away. and when you look back you'll wonder why? Why, oh why, did I ever cry! I love to write and i hope you keep this as a rememberence! No more tears! good luck!
2006-08-03 14:46:00 · answer #2 · answered by noditz57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you should save the drama for your momma and try to lighten up a little.
If you're writing this to a dude, you need to get over it, if you're writing this because you fancy yourself a writer, I suggest that you find a topic that won't make you want to commit suicide.
Lighten up!
TX Guy
2006-08-03 14:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a gorgeous writing! Sad, but very beautiful and Real. I wouldn't change anything, just re-read it closely as there are a couple of spelling errors.
2006-08-03 14:30:45 · answer #4 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
end rhyming is good sized...till your poems start to sound greater like rambling than intimate speaking. ordinarily with the aid of fact the sensation gets lost once you're finding for words to rhyme with one yet another. that's why end rhyming poems must be short. you ought to attempt loose verse poems (no rhyme scheme or matching syllables) and finally, i could provide you a 5, or a 7 if it is your first. no offense of direction:)
2016-10-01 11:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by bondieumatre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow . . . to be honest i love the ending i might just have to take that from you lol im just jidding
"Just as it got harder you could simply leave!!
I wish I didn’t love you
Because
I’m running out of tears to cry myself to sleep "
That is my favorite part
2006-08-03 14:29:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a good writer but you piece is so sad and depressing. Next time you write something I think it should be more happy.
2006-08-03 14:32:13 · answer #7 · answered by Cordy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was good know stop crying yourself to sleep you already see your not going to take him back. move on what don't kill you will make you stronger, by writing this your half way there.
2006-08-03 14:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by reemdog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good lyrics....just write the music to go with it.
2006-08-03 14:32:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww thats sooo good yet soo sad
2006-08-03 14:30:14 · answer #10 · answered by vicky g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋