Any advice for new fathers to be?

Question

My wife is seven months pregnant with our first child. I guess the fact of becoming a father just hit home a min ago...First I smiled then I said Oh S***! Im not scared of fathering just dont know what to expect. I know its the best feeling but how do you get past the anxiety of it? Any advice on bettering my skills. Thanks

For the readers with the true advice....Thanks. Now for the smarta**s on here to put people down and have nothing better to do with their life than to make jokes and harass others....you might want to be the ones that go to sleep because its obviously you thats not getting any!

Answer 1

the fact that you're seeking advice means that you're heading along the right path my friend! it's perfectly natural to feel anxious...even terrified! i think most new parents are.

there's been some good advice on here already, and i think they're right...being a 'hands on' dad is more important, and that will come naturally.

does your wife have a bean bag? cos i was given one when i was seven months pregnant and it's the best gift ever for a pregnant lady! it's soooo hard to get comfy when you're heavily pregnant!

make sure that she knows that she's loved and special, cos now everything will be about the baby and she could be feeling a little vulnerable.

congratulations and i wish you the very best x

Answer 2

You're fine. You care, so that's the main thing. You never get past some of the anxiety - it's like a switch flicks on in your brain when the child is born, and your concern for the child never ends from that point. The terrifying anxiety when the child is first born and you realise - oh my God, we have to take this person home and look after it for 20 years - does go away quite quickly, and it's perfectly natural. As for the skills - you can only learn by experience really, and you can't prepare adequately (don't believe the books!). However, if you get one of Miriam Stoppard's comprehensive guides to new babies, and eat it whole, you can't go too far wrong. She seems to know what she's talking about. Good luck, and I hope all goes well :-)

Answer 3

Always be there for your partner and the child when they need you they come first now before any one else now

take advise when its given, but always make your own decision as you've got to live with it don't just believe every thing your told even doctors are wrong sometimes

if some one offers you help baby sitting etc don't turn it down baby's are cute and cuddly for only so long (trust me Ive had two) and don't forget your wife was your lover before the mother of your child keep the love by having your special time alone together away from your child at least once a week .

and finally take one day at a time and enjoy it kids grow up so fast . Good luck

Answer 4

Probably the best advice I can give you is to just really be there for her physically and emotionally. My hormones were a rollercoaster the last few months. Just take it in stride. She probably will appreciate things like back rubs, interest in choosing baby clothes, you cooking dinner, doing the grocery shopping, etc.
There are things you can do to prepare for the big day if you haven't already. If she wants to take a childbirth and /or breastfeeding class, go with her an support her. Never tell her she looks fat or like a beached whale. Leave her and your unborn child hidden love notes that she can find in her car, work place, dresser drawer.
Never, EVER tell her you are tired or sleep deprived once the child is here, especially if she's nursing. She will always be more sleep deprived than you! You can also prepare by learning to do things like change diapers, open a saving/college account (doesn't have to be a huge amount), learning to properly install the child car seat (this is a great source of frustration to alot of parents on their trip home from the hospital), and basically do anything you can to give her time to rest and relax. If you have friends with infants, ask to hold & burp them to prepare. Men are often afraid to hold little babies. Don't be. They are tiny but they won't break! If your baby has colic, make sure you spend equal amounts of time trying to sooth the baby so mom can have a break.
During labor (at home or the hospital), please don't cook or eat or wear anything with a strong odor. Lots of women get nauseous during labor and smells make it worse. If she has to get and emergency C-section, keep her updated on what the Drs are doing, she won't be able to see anything. Tell her she's beautiful. And for goodness sake don't faint or say you're going to pass out when you see things like, her uterus in a c-section, blood, the baby crowning, etc. Women don't find that amusing. She needs your support. If you really are going to faint, sit down. There's no need for the drs & nurses to have to tend to you and your head injury when they need to focus on your baby & the mommy! ha ha!
If you haven't already done so, please research circumcision. I've been doing a lot of research lately and I know it's no longer recommended by the Amerian Academy of Pediatrics. I'll include a link. It's not to stir up a debate, only to inform if you haven't already looked into it. I know I didn't really research it before because I was having girls. But my sis & bro-in-law didn't circ their kids and neither one has ever had any problems.
My husband said he never really got over the anxiety of becoming a new dad. You're going to be responsible for a whole new person and have a new role in life. It's going to be stressful but also enjoyable! If you really want to prepare, start functioning on about half of the sleep you're used to and about a third of the money you're used to.
The most important thing I can say is please learn the signs/symptoms of post partum depression so you can get help for you wife if she becomes depressed. Never hesitate to call the Dr. if you have questions.
Good luck! You're going to do fine!

Answer 5

Just enjoy it, its not easy, but its worth every second. The first few weeks are tireing and stressful, mums gonna be sore and very emotional, so you need ot be strong for her, help her out etc. The first few weeks for any new parent is about bonding with your new baby and learning how things work. Every child is different so no matter how much advise you get, you're betetr to do it your way. You'll be a great father, just relax and enjoy it, they grow way to fast and you dont want to miss a second. Ignore the washing that needs folding and ironing, ignore the pile of teddies and toys and baby clobber strewn about the house, everyone knows that theres not always time to do the jobs.
Its the most amazing thing you could ever do, theres no right or wrong way of going about it, just do it your way, enjoy everysecond and relax.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 6

It's hard. When I was pregnant my partner was very unsure. He said the right things and went to all the scans and stuff and slowly he just felt more prepared. I guess the best thing you can do is get as much info as you feel comfortable with and look at it in a logical way. When the baby arrives, I think your parental instincts will kick in and you should be fine. Another smart move would be to tell your wife, she may be scared too. Get ready together and it will be fine.

Answer 7

Fatherhood is truly wonder full and your relationship with your partner although may get a little strained from lack of sleep at the start will deepen tremendously.

Forget any horror stories you may have heard, people like to scare you. Speak to your father maybe?
Talking can really help with your anxieties, get them out in the open.
Remember in childbirth to be well organised as labour can take Little longer on your first. Red bull/lucazade and sandwiches are great. (For you and your wife!)
Look after your wife, be patient, look after yourself and take in every moment.
From the time you meet your little son/daughter it'll all fit into place.
We are on our third pregnancy and have a disabled son which was very difficult.
However, the love and devotion you feel for your own family makes everything worthwhile.
Good luck to you and wishing your family lots of happiness.

Answer 8

Well, becoming a parent for the first time is very scary, exciting, and exhausting all at the same time.. I am a single mother, who did not have the support of the father, so I would advise that you can try to make your wife feel as beautiful and as comfortable as possible.. her ego, and her heart will adore you.. I wish I had support like that with my son.. And also, I think that you will make a wonderful father.. The fact that you are concerned shows how much you really care.. I wish you and your new family all of my best.. god bless...

Answer 9

Bless! Try to be as involved as much as possable. To begin with you might feel a bit left out, at the moment its just you and your wife, when the baby arrives all your wife's attention is going to be centred around the baby. Even if your help isn't hands on with the baby, helping your wife by maybe,doing a bit of ironing or cooking the dinner will help enormously or even letting her have a lie down if shes feeling tried and you looking after the baby for a while, she really will appreciate it, its the little thing that count. But most of all enjoy every moment you have with your baby, they grow up so fast.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck

Answer 10

Don't be afraid to change diapers....some men are. Babies aren't as fragile as you think. Always offer to help your wife with anything. The first couple weeks after delivery is hard on a woman. Offer her drinks and snacks often (especially when she is nursing and cannot get them herself.) She will be nursing most of the day (seriously). If you help clean up and cook that would make her happy I'm sure.

As for the delivery....just don't let her see that you're scared, kuz then she'll think something is wrong, and get scared too. Especially by your facial expressions. I think you'lll be absolutely amazed by what your wife goes through and how her body made that little human, and what a trooper she was about it.