my parents think that im a bad person for having sex are they right because im only 17?

Question

im depress because i feel like they think im the bad wild child and that my brothers and sister are better than me because they think that they are virgins. i went 5 months without having sex but then i slipped up and did it with this boy i was talking to(he is 20 years old) i promised myself i wasn't going to do it but i think it was a spur of the moment thing. Right now feel so horrible that i wish i was dead. I wish i could turn back the hands of time and make a smarter decision. I need some opinions please.

Answer 1

no you are not bad. you are lonelyand have sex to feel loved. i love you! because u know what u did is wrong, if you want to talk . my email is [e-mail]

Answer 2

first of all, we all make mistakes that we wish we could forget, but remember we can't learn from mistakes if we don't make them. i personally don't think this makes u a bad person.
i was 2 months away from 17 when i first had sex, and my mum never found out until i was 19, when i let it slip, sex is never something u want to talk to your parents about. my mum was also "really disappointed" in me and treated me like crap for a while after that. which upset me me heaps and i ended up being a wild child after that.
i am now 23 and i am pregnant and i couldn't be happier, and i have an 8 month old so as a mother i kind of understand now why parents get so upset about these things,one thing i do know is that your mum and dad will get over it, so maybe you should stop trying to think about this and focus on the good things you want to achieve, like maybe finishing school or saving to buy that really cool outfit or something. i'm not too sure when it will happen but you guys will all be fine with it in the end, and u won't think about it so much.
i hope that helped a little, because i was 17 once and in the same position as u, and the way i got around it was i found a job and a sport i really liked (kickboxing) it was a great stress reliever for me. just keep your friends around you and try to be happy..

Answer 3

You're not a "bad person" and I really doubt that your parents really believe that you are. Your brothers and sister are probably naturally competitive and are making you feel bad because it makes them feel better about themselves since they are not perfect even if they are virgins. They are probably disappointed that you made this choice because once you've had sex it's very challenging to try to avoid it in the future. If you feel horrible it's because you have a conscience and it's there to protect you so that when you do make a mistake - you don't want to do that again. Boy, do I ever know how you feel though. When I was young I made some mistakes too. The thing to remember is that history doesn't have to repeat itself and that it's not hopeless. It's harder than you realize with the kind of culture we have to save yourself for a husband someday. You are to be commended that you feel this way about it and not just taking it non chalant. Your parents have done something right in helping to shape your values or you wouldn't feel bad at all. I know this may be hard to consider - but think about the fact that 7 or 10 years from now - your life could be completely different - you could be married with a baby and all of this behind you. Try to remember that things are going to change, things can get better and the important thing is to try to honor that person who you will marry someday as best you can, because the person who commits to you for life is far more important than any boyfriend you may have now. You'll want to be careful that you don't catch any kinds of VD or get pregnant because you'll want to give the best you have to the man who will commit to you and that sex will have no shame, you won't wonder if you're good enough in bed for him becuase true love is so much more than that - you'll feel great inside and it will build the relationship instead of breed doubt and fear. First, you need to forgive yourself, give it time, remember that you're human and find friends and friends who are boys who you can enjoy spending time with them and they won't push you in the direction you don't want to go in right now. Having a friend who is understanding about this and feels the same way you do can help keep you accountable too.

Answer 4

Why would that make you a bad person? Both of your parents have quite obviously had sex. There's nothing magical about your 18th birthday, even though a lot of people think there is. You obviously don't hold the opinion that sex is wrong, and you're feeling bad because you're letting your parents beliefs control you. It's your body, and your life, and I'm sure you don't want to be exactly like them. Look what thinking like they do has already done to you, suicidal thoughts because you had sex? Come on. Grow up, you're 17, you'll be an adult legally pretty soon, and then they don't even have to talk to you any more if you go against them. Some of us had to take the step into adulthood much younger, get over it.

Answer 5

Having sex at 17 doesn't make you a bad person. Your parents have a right to their opinion, and raised you but you're growing up and making your own decisions. I just hope that you were safe about your sex life, and getting protected. You shouldn't feel horrible. People make mistakes, and those mistakes not only shape who we are but how we deal with life. There's no point in taking back time or even thinking about it, you can only learn from your experiences. You should talk to your parents, and tell them that although you did make a wrong choice, it doesn't mean you don't have any values. Live your own life and follow your own path, but never forget your values. Follow your heart. Being sexually active at 17 is not a crime, you just need to be careful. I wish you only but the best.

Answer 6

I'm sure your parents are disappointed, not think that you are a bad person. You had sex on a 'spur of a moment thing', is very disturbing though. Don't wish you were dead, believe me you will do many things that will make you feel horrible and want to turn back time. You should probably think about why you thought you had to 'do it'; and decide how you will handle this situation if it should occur again. I'm sure a heart to heart discussion should happen with your parents. Again, think ahead on how you will discuss this with them. It will be embarrassing but I'm sure after you will feel better.

Answer 7

i was also 17 when i lost my virginity. and my parents are so religious that they threatened to have my boy friend thrown in jail. i don't think that the people from your parents generation realize how often we are bombarded by things with sexual content. you are not wild and by no means should you wish you were dead. wanting to have sex is a normal part of life. as for your brothers and sisters my parents were the same way until i had 2 siblings end up getting married because of the bundels of joy that i call niece and nephew. and as for the guy i gave my virginity to i have been married to him for 10yrs and have 3 wonderful kids and not once have i regetted having sex before marriage. this may not be the case for you but i garantee you in 10 years you'll look back on this time of your life and hopefully see how innocent you still are.

Answer 8

When you are a mother someday you will feel horrified when you realize your child has sex just like when you think about your parents doing the deed and want to throwup.Just remember,somewhere inside their mind they know it's time to face that their baby girl is having these experiences at age 17 but they will try to intimidate your adjustment into adulthood because you're their baby girl and you seem invinsible against the possibility of sex.You are supposed to be their innocent baby girl forever and this situation hurts them but maturely explain to them that you are an adult now and are responsible about protection.If they are mature then they will understand.Remember...sex is good but Love is better.So respect Love first.And if you were a parent what would you do within the boundries of maturity?Don't feel guilty though,okay?You are 17 for crying out loud...think from your parents and Gods eyes about how mature you are in your actions in life.

Answer 9

At 17.
I would let it go in one ear and out the other.
Your ok with me and alot of people on here,I say.
Don't feel bad about your self,why do that.
We all have sex at time's,that is very NORMAL.
How did they find out,did you tell them or did some one see you,if so,so what.
You just said,your brother's and sister did it but didn't get caught,right.
So what make's them any better then you,there not.
Sooner or later they will get caught to,we all do some time.
I just hope you did use some thing that night.
If we all made smarter decision's back when,half of us would'nt be here now.
God wanted it that way.
Good luck and take care.
Sharon.
P.S. your parent's will get over it some how and you will to,I am sure of that.

Answer 10

The way i see it is, you arent a bad person. Having sex doesnt make you a bad person. I mean, really there is only a bad way to lead to sex, or whatever.

If you didnt use protection and really didnt care about probably being pregnant, then please be careful. Really, i wouldnt recommend having a child at that age to care for. Studies come first, then a job, and just a plan to be able to support your child (if you would have one).

Dont feel so bad, really just move on and just do your best to avoid it, just in case it would happen again. Please dont get pregnant at this age, if you already are or something, then just have the baby look for a good income job to support your child and such.

Email me if you need or might want any more help or something.

-Edward

Answer 11

No you are definetly not a bad person. Noone is perfect and everyone makes mistakes in life. Your parents are just worried about you. I'm sure they don't think you are a bad person, because wouldn't that in turn mean they had failed to be good parents? You'll be fine. Learn from your mistakes and try to keep the promises that you make to yourself. Remember everyone makes mistakes. The thing that separates good and bad is that the good people learn and grow from their mistakes and the bad people repeat them. Hope this message will help cheer you up.