REPOST: Filipino Racial Jokes 1: Fist Full of Lumpia?

Question

Filipino Racial Jokes 1: Fist Full of Lumpia?
The teacher turns to the class and says, "Today, we will use these three words in a sentence. Defense, detail, and defeat. Tom, why don't you go first?"

Tom, a white kid, goes first.

Tom says, "Ahh, the football team's defense was detailed in the paper which caused the defeat of the other team." (The narrator's tone is slang-American when saying this sentence.)

The teacher turns to Chang, a Chinese boy, and says, "How about you Chang?"

Chang says, (narrator uses a Chinese accent), "the Defense Department gave details of the defeat of the guerrillas."

"That's very good Chang, now what about you, Bong-Bong?" says the teacher. "Use defense, detail, and defeat in a sentence."

Bong-Bong, the Filipino boy, doesn't want to do it. (Accent of narrator becomes heavily influenced by Ilocano or Tagalog accent).

"Ma'am, ay don't know how to use it," says Bong-Bong.

"Come on, just try," says the teacher.

"Okay, ma'am," says Bong-Bong. "Ahhhh...dah black dog...jumped ober (over pronounced with "b" sound) dah fence ("dah" instead of the sound "the"), dah tail first and den, dah feet."

Additional Details

5 hours ago
There was this Filipino kindergarten teacher and she was teaching her class how to do the hokey-pokey. She started off by saying, "You put your right feet in, you put your right feet out, you put your right feet in...."

Suddenly one of the children said, "Teacher you have to say 'foot.'"

So the teacher said, "You 'foot' your right feet in, you 'foot' your right feet out....."

5 hours ago
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF Manila IS ATTACKED?
By: DarkNinja



After the tragedy in New York and Washington the question arises:

WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF Manila IS ATTACKED?

Well ... if that happens, there can be no comparison. That's because in Manila, we are much better prepared for these kind of attacks.

We do not have tall buildings. The only large structure that can be seen from above is the Marcos monument in Ilocos and terrorists are welcome to target that.
We all get on the job late in the morning specially government employees, so at 8:45 there won't be sufficient people to kill (well, not even at 10 am!).
Fire fighters and police officers will do their utmost not to get to the spot in time. They will reach there just when everything is over, so there will be no casualties among them.
The national airline would surely have fouled up the terrorists plans by being delayed again or crash before even getting to the target due to mechanical troubles.

5 hours ago
A Pinoy would not have used his cell phone to call home. He would've hit the terrorist with it over the head.
If a terrorist was living for one year in Manila he would've been robbed and molested so many times he would've given up and gone back to his home country a long time ago.
In Manila, the terrorists would not have gotten the flight manual, they would've had to pay for it.
You see... in Manila we are well prepared

Answer 1

Flips are cool and very pretty

Nice jokes

Answer 2

i enjoyed them

Answer 3

ugh

Answer 4

are you a filipino? the joke su*ked...

Answer 5

you mean Phillipino?