How can I get my 2yr old to stop biting?

Question

My 2yr old son has been biting his older brother (3 1/2yrs). I have read all the literature online and followed their advice. Nothing works. My older son has even retaliated by biting twice and this didn't work either. I have friends who suggest I bite him, which I think is crazy. If his brother biting him and drawing blood didn't work I don't think biting him is the answer. He doesn't have any special stuffed animal or blanket, which I have also been told to take away from him as punishment. He has been spanked, sent to the corner. Talked to at eye level in simple sentences, although he talks as well as some 3yr olds. My older son has talked to him telling him how much it hurts him when he is bitten. We have shown him the wounds and nothing seems to work. He bites out of frustration, anger and just being silly. Sometimes they will be just running around and hugging and then next thing is my older son screaming. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason as to why he bites. Help Please

Answer 1

I am sorry because my answer will not be helping you out too much. But I just have to comment on all of the people that have suggested biting him back, especially the one that says bite hard enough that you leave a mark. Uh that is child abuse! Not to mention that will teach them that hey biting is not so bad after all my mom just did it to me.But really good luck my daughter has a bit of a biting problem herself, she knows that it's wrong and knows that when she does it that there are repercussions but sometimes for some reason she still decides it's worth it. It sounds like your doing all you can, I am sure that he will grow out of it and until that happens just try and keep your older son out of harms way☺

Answer 2

First of all...take a deep breath!! You will survive this crazy period I promise you.

I'm a trained early childhood educator and this is TYPICAL behaviour for two year olds.

While you mentioned your son has great verbal skills, he may not be able to fully express his feelings which is why he is retaliating through biting.

Re: biting him back.
This issue is the same as spanking. It is difficult for children to understand why they are being hit or bitten and why it is wrong to do these things themselves when parents/caregivers are doing the same thing. It doesn't solve the problem.

I suggest that you keep doing what you're doing. On eye level, speak compassionately when someone has been bitten saying, "Ouch, that hurt. Biting hurts."

If he bites out of frustration, help him to verbalize why he is frustrated.

It's hard work but you're on the right path. We see this all the time in our toddler room.

Answer 3

DO NOT bite him! That is a lousy suggestion at best and can be considered child abuse at worst. Find out WHY your child bites (and stop reading what the "experts" say, this is YOUR child not a robotic anamatron with computerized programming, children are not all alike), Some two year olds go through a biting stage, it usually takes one of their peers smacking them a good one for them to get the hint that it indeed HURTS. A two year old doesn't understand "it hurts" For some two year olds biting is a sign of affection. If that's the case learn how to direct your son's affection in a more positive manner like hugging or patting someone on the back rather than biting. But first you have to find out the reasons. But you biting him is a lousy idea. You are only teaching him that his mother has the right to abuse him and NO mother has that right.

Answer 4

I know this is an insane recommendation. But write this information to SuperNanny (the show) or something. Maybe they can figure it out. I would have told you time outs as my 2 year old used to bite. I put him in a time out each time he did it and he stopped. This is a big issue as if you were to put him into a normal daycare, they would not tolerate this and he can get into trouble a lot at school.

Maybe try age-appropriate time outs the SECOND he bites. Sit him in a corner, facing the corner for 1-2 minutes, let him blow his steam ALONE, don't yell at him, but be very stern. After the minute or so is up, go over to him, try to "explain" to him what he did wrong, like say "Biting is a no no - we don't do that. It makes an owie." This way he understands WHY he is in trouble (They can forget easily).

Then tell him to give you a hug and a kiss and then say you love each other and then let him go play as if nothing happened. THat way he understands that it creates NEGATIVE attention.

Some children CRAVE negative attention IF they aren't getting enough positive attention. make sure you spend as much time as you can everyday reading to them, letting them draw pictures, tickling, cuddling, watching baby einstein movies (the best) together. Anything you can fit in your busy schedule.

This may or may not work, but it's all that I can think of.

Answer 5

Our son, who was the milder of the two of our kids - bit at daycare twice. After the 2nd time they said if he does it again, he has to go. Luckily he didn't - it was a phase and since a 2 yr. old can't express their excitement or emotions well, they sometimes get overexcited and bite.

I bit my mom once and she bit me back really hard and that was the end of that.

I didn't bite my kids back, however. My daughter bit me once bc she was upset at leaving Chuck E. Cheese. It almost broke the skin and really hurt like you know what.

I can just say it's a phase and what I'd do is try to keep on eye on his level of excitement and activity and don't let him get too overstimulated. Maybe buy him a Bop bag toy to bop around and engage him in more physical activities using toys instead of people for a while. Good luck :)

Answer 6

Kids his age haven't developed "empathy" yet. They don't understand the concept that it hurts the other person the same way it hurts them. All you can do is have patience. When my son went through his hitting stage, I was horrified as my baby became the "bully" of the nursery. Each time he hit, I would take him aside and calmly (most of the time!) tell him that hitting is bad because it hurts. this went on for (sadly) a long time. At times I felt so frustrated and wondered what kind of kid my son would grow up to be! But I stayed consistant and he outgrew the stage. I think because we consistantly told him how hitting made others feel, he has become a very compassionate and friendly little boy (he's now 6). It's almost funny thinking of him as a "bully" now. Good luck!

Answer 7

For a two year old watch and see what is causing him to bite. Then you will have an idea of when to watch and what is setting off the biting. Most of the time it is a two year old lack of communication/ words. Or, for example he bites to get a toy. It worked to get the toy the first time,,he bites because that worked to get what he wanted. best thing is to remove him from the situation,,,then get on his level and tell him that biting hurts and that he needs to use his words. Then by example...show him/give him the words to use to get what he wants. Continue this until the biting is replaced by him using his words.

Answer 8

It's not crazy that your friends tell u to bite him back. Yes difficult to do but not crazy. This is the only thing that helps. make sure you are very upset and scare the livin wits out of your child, and bit him back, not crazy hard but hard enough to hurt and make him sit down until he understands. You have to make sure he cry's and understands how bad it hurts. i had to do it and never had one problem after that. im not kidding but dont do it in any loving way make sure you are pissed off and react... it is the worst to have a child biting everyone. make it happen mom. no one is going to look down on you for biting back. For every action there is a reaction. Dont set the false world for him (not that you are) but when he gets a little older her might just get his butt kicked. so make sure he knows what he is getting into when he starts biting and being violent with someone else.

Answer 9

This may sound crazy but you might just have to stop noticing him when he does it. Obviously you need to make sure you try to stop him if you can. But everytime he bites he is getting attention from you. He is lacking it maybe and knows if he bites you give him attention. Even if he is only 21/2 he likes the negative attention. Sounds crazy but what do you have to loose.

Answer 10

This is what we did for our daughter. Anytime she would bite or try to bite her dad, he would use his thumb or finger to press down on her bottom row of teeth, essentially holding her jaw open. When she got tired, she would back off (didn't take long). Anytime she would try to bite me, I would put her hand in her mouth and let her bite her own hand or arm so she understands what she is doing to herself and to others. When she was done we would explain to her that biting is not acceptable behavior. Biting was not going to get her anywhere or get her anything and it hurts, really bad. We explained to her that she needed to keep herself safe and to keep mommy and daddy safe. Biting is not keeping "us" safe. She only did this for a few weeks and stopped. On occasion, she tries to bite again (out of frustration), but we just reinforce what we've done to her in the past and she stops. Good luck!