Ive been going out for this guy for 3 months and the 1st 2 were amazing. I thought the world of this guy, but then I kinda.. lost that fire for him. I don't know what happened. Ive been contemplating on whether I should stay it out or break up with him, and I'm so confused. I mean, he hasn't done anything wrong really, but I'm just so unhappy with him. I want a light relationship and he wants a serious one. He is so in love with me and I don't know what to do, because I don't want to see him hurt. I care deeply for him, but in a different sort of way. Is this normal? Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship right now... but I don't know if I would have the strength to break hs heart. HELP!!
2006-08-03 11:48:54 · 27 answers · asked by Burnette 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey, don't worry about it it happens! For girls it takes longer to fall in love, that's what happened to me! We are about to have our first anniversary, and I cant imagine my life without him! Initially he fell for me before than I did. I told him though, that he had to give me some time. Just think if you can see yourself falling for him. Is he perfect for you??
2006-08-03 11:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by nobody_knows_nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be a down to earth young lady to me and that's why you are having troubles deciding just what to do. I feel the honesty in your words. The one person you must think about at this time is you. Apparently the spark is gone so why carry on hurting yourself and him too. I know that breaking up isn't easy but would you rather stay with somebody that there isn't any longer the spark with? I wouldn't think so. There isn't going to be any easy way to do this. Also the chances of remaining friends too is quite doubtful but you can try anyways. If I was in the guys shoes right now I would rather you tell me straight out so that I knew where I stood. Then I would decide from there what to do. So the balls in your hands....do what you have to and as soon as you can and you will feel better inside. Good luck and I wish you all the best. Take care.
2006-08-03 19:08:28 · answer #2 · answered by Gez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's much better to break up sooner rather than later. The first two months you were really infatuated with his qualities, but now there is a really specific issue that can't be reconciled, at least for the time being. Tell him that you're just really not ready for a very serious relationship at this particular time, and you'd rather be just friends (unless of course he keeps pestering you about it, at which time you should not answer his calls or emails at all).
The longer you wait, the more you'll lead him on. Good luck.
2006-08-03 18:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Aemilia753 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly. no matter what you do, you will break his heart, unless he suddenly feels the same as you.
One way or the other, he will find out, your true feelings. Those are something you can't really hide from a close friend.
Waiting until you find the right time, will just be delaying the inevitable, so best do it as soon as you can.
You are unhappy now, and he will be unhappy when you tell him, of your feelings.
But we all get over the hurt and move on, it's just human nature. We often aim for the stars, and often trip and fall. It hurts, but life will go on.
He'll meet someone new, and hopefully, the right one for him. just as you may too.
2006-08-03 18:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two aren't right for eachother. I was in that exact situation last summer. In fact, I got suckered into dating him for an extra 4 months. Prolonging it and then realizing your relationship bites, is only going to result in him being even more heartbroken. Break up with him while you still have the chance. It's going to hurt like all hell. You probrably care for him a lot, but something needs to happen and you're not going to get any happier if you stay with him. Think about it this way.. my mother (who is 58 years old) can barely remember her old boyfriends now.. so this won't matter in the future. He will hurt, you will hurt, you both will get over it and forget. Try and be his friend the best you can. If you really care about him, be able to let him go. Even though it still.. will hurt like a *****.
2006-08-03 18:57:10 · answer #5 · answered by CrimsonStained 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to Las Vegas on vacation. Stay for over a week. Stop answering the cell phone after three days. Then change your outgoing message to some happy chick with some guys laughing in the background. When you get back, show him some new expensive clothes you bought and your tattoo(fake!!!)!
The separation thing is to see if you really miss him after some absence. And of course, if he really misses you!
By the way, don't all chicks do this sort of stuff anyway?
2006-08-03 18:56:17 · answer #6 · answered by extremelyradicalman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have basically painted yourself into a corner. If you try going on and 'faking it' you are bound to get in trouble. But if you try to break if off or ask for space, you will hurt him.
Best thing I suppose would be to really talk to him about your feelings, he probably won't understand, but you have to try. See how things go from there, before you decide on your next move.
Once this is behind you one way or another, I would also reccomend a little soul searching... why are you getting into relationships if you don't really want to be in them?
What exactly is the problem? I don't need the answers... you do.
Just something to think about.
2006-08-03 18:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by tm_tech32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If anyone cottons on to the fact that you want a fling, cause let's be honest that's what you want, you're just gonna attract a load of *****. For example the first guy who answered your question. What you need to do is confront this guy and let HIM know that you wern't looking to get too heavy and if you two can step it down a gear y'might be as happy as you were to begin with. This way you know that this guy isn't a prick and he'll know that you aint looking for anything too deep as far as a relationship goes.
2006-08-03 18:58:19 · answer #8 · answered by Die Cocksucker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question. If you care for him, let him down slowly, over time. He will eventually get the message.
Losing the fire for someone is very, very normal. Happens in dating, in marriages, all the time. Don't worry about it. And, he will have to get used to it, as we all do. Don't take responsibility for how HE feels, you have to take care of yourself. The worst thing you can do is lie to yourself just to please him.
He will recover from the hurt. We all do. It might not seem that way at the time, but it happens. The human spirit is very resilient. He is no exception.
Follow and trust your instincts. You will find a way, and he will deal with it.
2006-08-03 18:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by brian k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes good men come at bad times and unfortunately this is one of those cases. End it sooner because the more you push it back the more pain he will feel. Be honest when you tell him, maybe he can understand this and you guys can still be friends. But thats shooting for the moon. So dont expect that. Expect the worst. Its always easier that way. More then likely it wont be worst route and you'll feel relieved.
2006-08-03 19:14:25 · answer #10 · answered by omsuperhoops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't forget that good/nice guys are hard to find. Are you sure you want to give him up? It's hard to go back once you've broken up. I think you need some time off and see how you would feel when he is no longer there. Maybe you are taking him for granted.
2006-08-03 18:54:10 · answer #11 · answered by pingtinggege 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋