Please help. Mother suffering with terminal liver cancer......?

Question

Serious answers only please. Does anyone know the progression of terminal liver cancer?

My 84 year old mother started having nausea 6 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago they found 6 cancerous tumors in her liver. She is suffering so much. She is growing weaker every day, cannot keep food down and doesn't have an appetite.

I am taking care of her at my home. Hospice is helping and trying to keep her pain down.
It is heart breaking to watch her suffering and declining each day and I just want her to be released from this suffering.

Does anyone know or have experience as to approximately how long she will have to suffer before she can pass on?

Please no answers as to "when God is ready" as that does not help to give me any idea how long she is going to have to suffer more.
Thank you for any help.

Answer 1

Finaldx said exactly the right things.

To tag on: No one can predict precisely when someone will pass. An oncologist I know will gve patients (or their families) time frames (when asked). Then he always adds, "But my patients surprise me all of the time." That said, talk to Hospice or her oncologists - they have both the first hand knowledge of her case and the clinical experience to profer a guess.

When my dad was very ill (he died three days later), another oncologist said, "Last week, I didn't think he would make it more than a few days. He has anything from a few days to a few months. Probably a week or two." Timing often seems to driven by "is the patient ready." Some seem to hold out for a last visit with someone. Or die the moment the person who has been at their side non-stop goes to bathrom. Talk to hospice -- they can help explain.

And the mechanism of death can vary. Liver failure. Respiratory failure. Infection (pneumonia). Dehydration.

Steps that are taken in her care can either hasten or prolong the dying process. One thing to think about is hydration and food. Always offer these (presuming the patient is able to consume the safely -- i.e., they can pass a swallow test) as to do otherwise is cruel.

Do you do IVs for hydration? What about tube feeding? Both would prolong her life -- assuming that is the goal. (If I was your grandmother, I would refuse tube feedings and or IVs). What about antibiotics? (If I was your grandmother I would od them for things like a UI tract infection but not things like pneumonia). But there are no "right" decisions here -- you must make your own way.

Please work on pain management. In my mind, this should be the highest medical priority. THIS ALL NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED WITH HOSPICE. FEEL FREE TO CONTACT THEM ON A WEEKEND, etc.

A few observations:
a) Don't skimp on the medication unless she wants you to. Some patients want to trade clarity for pain. (While the meds can cause respiratory depression -- that ought not be the greatest concern for a terminal patient.)
b) Try to get her on a regime that includes both long term and break through relief. Something like Oxycontin taken every 12 hours or a pain patch. Even an IV drip (although the others would be easier to administer).
c) For break through pain, get something that lasts 4 to six hours. Some repsond better to synthetics and others to morphine. There are pills, liquids, etc. It is important to keep pain in control -- it is easy to get on a roller coaster. Pain requires more meds to get it under control than it does to keep it under control. Sometimes holding off on pain meds means you end up both hurting more and using more.
d) Sometimes adding something like tylenol or advil will help.
e) Check for things like a UI tract infection. Very painful and very easy to cure.
f) Offer distractions from the pain. It might be reading her a favorite book. Or talking. Or listening to music.
g) Try to control side effects like nausea and constipation. There are effective meds for both.
i) Don't ever be satisfied with her comfort UNTIL she is.

Most of all, try and find some joy in the time you have together. While it will always be bittersweet, I suspect you will treasure the time you spent with her. She is lucky to have someone like you.

Answer 2

There is really no way to know how long she will last. Just help to make her comfortable. I went through this in 95 when my 78 yo mother died of endometrial cancer. Ask Hospice nurses about feeding her, like what might she tolerate best. But, f she has no appetite, she should not be forced or even encouraged to eat more than she wants to. It will be very hard -- absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done -- but caring for her will also be one of the most rewarding things you will ever do. Provide entertainment that she might enjoy. We even taped a cut and paste picture my young daughter had made for Mom on the wall at the foot of her Hospice bed. Cool wash cloths on the forehead -- she'll think you are an angel! Patience. Time. ALSO, though, try to help her find closure with any issues she has with family members or others. I had to have my brother in jail in another state call her (she hadn't heard from him since her diagnosis) to say he was sorry he could not be there but that he would be OK. She died a few days later. Terminally ill people will hold on until issues are resolved. Do what you can to help her resolve issues. Good luck and God bless you and your mother and family!

Answer 3

Liver Cancer Hospice

Answer 4

It sounds as though it may not be long (days/weeks?). There is not enough clinical information in your question to hazard a guess, though.

Ask for family medical leave. As much as possible, keep her comfortable, and just be there for her. Don't be afraid to touch her, caress her, stroke her hair, forehead, if that does not bother her. A moist or wet washrag will help keep her mouth moist if she cannot drink. Ask her what foods or beverages sound like they would taste good, those are more likely to stay down. She may be testy and want to be alone some of the time and allow her this part of the grief process also, but be nearby, as she will need you more than she will want to admit.

If she is amenable, use this last opportunity to speak with her of important things, but don't leave out chit-chat if she is wanting that instead. If there are any things or people your mother wants to make contact with before she leaves this mortal coil, make every effort to do that for her.

This is one of the most difficult things you will undergo in your life, and a huge opportunity for personal growth for you. Part of life is dreadful and sad and heartbreaking, and the ability to experience those emotions make you more real and in touch with the happy times when they are there. Avail yourself of all social support networks, as you have already done with hospice. If you are religious, ask for help from your church; if you have a circle of friends or family, they can be helpful also. It may be a largely introspective time for you to assess your own life, and how you want to live the rest of it.

There are several good books regarding end of life issues, and I would encourage you to make use of those also.

You have my deepest sympathy.

Answer 5

You can't really say when a person will actually die there are too many variables.But having witnessed two deaths from this type of disorder I have found that they usually go into a coma as the liver completely fails ( and the toxins in their body get high enough) then they pass on.Hospice will make sure she is not in pain they have alot of lattitude with pain medications. My sympathy to you.Hold on you'll get through this.

Answer 6

My aunt also suffered liver cancer, and lived about 7 weeks from her initial diagnosis. Please bear in mind that each patient is different, and your mother's course of the disease may be very different than my aunt's.

My heart goes out to you and your family. I understand that there are no words of comfort that can be offered right now, so I will keep your mother in my thoughts instead.

Answer 7

At this point you need to consult with hospice care. Your mother is suffering and hospice (in home or in hospice) would be the way to go. You cannot do this alone and your mother needs professional care and medicatiosn to alleviate her sufering. Good luck.

Answer 8

Try to get her to the nearest Healing Rooms closest to you. The woman who started the Healing Rooms in our area was healed of pancreatic cancer. It doesn't cost anything. It's like a doctor's office but they simply pray for you. Many people are completely cured by this method. It won't hurt to try!

Go to the website below to find out where the closest location is.

Answer 9

My aunt died from this disease last fall at the age of 85. She accepted it and died with dignity and grace. From the symptoms you describe, your mother may have only a few short weeks left. Help her to accept her condition and to put her affairs in order, and do what you can to keep her pain-free. You have my deepest sympathy.

Answer 10

Fatigue is common esp. if he is taking chemo. Honestly you will see many more ominous signs. Change in skin color and swelling of the abdomen, fluid retention. You don't mention any of those very serious signs so I don't think he is at the end yet. Good luck to you both.