how can i talk to my brother?

Question

A while ago i was being a kid looking at the hot guys on hotornot.come and i though it would be a good idea to look on the gay guys' section since gay guys are usually hotter than straight guys.anyways i found my brother on that section and i didnt know what to do and my mom was in the living room with me so i showed her to bcuz my brother and his roomates are sarcastic people like that and i thought, u know, he was just being funny bcuz his friend sarah put herself on there as a lesbian(in which she isnt). but i as started reading his profile and what he liked to do with his life and in his spare time, i realized that he was actually gay because what he wrote was so beautiful and amazing it made me cry. me and my mom are the only people in our family that know that he is gay and i know he will always be the same person that he was before i found out. if it wasnt for me being noisy i would have never known that he was gay. he is one of the most intellegent people any1 would ever meet.

and i feel that since i found out he was gay he feels like i dont love him the same way as i did before. im almost 16 and hes 25 and i just want to be his little sister again and spend my time with him bcuz i really do look up to him and i just think that he feels that i feel the opposite because i was the first person in our family to find out.

umm also people who cant read my borther already knows that me and my mom know. we have already talked, but no that he knows we know he acts like hes staying away form us but he calls us once in a while and its obvious when i talk to him the he feels like i dont love him.

Answer 1

you have a beautiful way of expressing what you feel just fine when you write.sit down relax and get ready to type him a letter and send it to him by email.just the way you describe how he is and the love you feel for him express to him.let him know how you really feel and that no matter what nothing has changed.you feel the same, maybe a little disappointed for finding out the way you have but other then happy to finally know who he really is and your still pround of him.it nice to know your such a great sister and look out for your brother.good luck two the of you and don't worry everything well turn out just fine.

Answer 2

finding out something new about a close family member or friend can feel a bit awkward at first but you know... if he has put his details up there then what he is saying to the world is... "Hey I am gay..." so he already knows he is gay and he is okay about people knowing... He may have felt wkward telling his own family and you may find it is a relief for him to know that you know.. and that you still love him and care about him...
Your still his little sis... he's still your big bro...
really nothing has changed...
You could wait until you and he are alone and say to him... You know I was on the net the other day checking out profiles of hot guys and there was this one profile that was sooooo beautiful and sooooo amazing... and I had to do a double take because after reading what this really amazing bloke had to say I realised that bloke was you...

just smile as you say it...

btw there is a chance he isn't gay and he had someone else write all that stuff on the profile...

Answer 3

He Still Ur Brother No Matter Gay Or Straight And You Maybe Not Be Able To Acpet It But It Will Take A While And You Both Need 2 Talk Form Hims Point And Urs

Answer 4

Well if he knows you know, for heaven's sake just tell him that you want him to understand that you don't think any different of him. He probably wouldn't have a hard time understanding if you are honest and tell him that it's just new info that you are still getting used to and the fact that you didn't know all this time. I'm sure in no time it will be the same as ever before. Besides...maybe he has friends with straight younger brothers for you. lol ; )

Answer 5

Maybe he hates himself for this fact and has a hard time interacting with you as he did before because now he is self conscious and can't possibly imagine you loving him as much as you did before you found out. Just keep loving him no matter what and tell him so every time he starts acting distant. Maybe he is just embarrassed because he wasn't ready to accept himself or to tell his family and you told them first before he had a chance if ever. Just accept his behavior and love and accept the new way he acts now. That will be proof that you still love him as much as you did before, and eventually he'll be himself around you once more.

Answer 6

Hello, A loveletter to you,

I know where you are coming from.
Dear Person on Yahoo Answers,

Not so long ago, an assoicate of mine; he eventually came out to his mom and the rest of us. He at first very nervous and though squeamish, he got through it. After much of the going, back and forward, he looked and found that his mom hinted and knew, his friends around him knew and well, in his heart he knew.

You have to look at your brother. I think your brother, is more at an amiss because of how you found out. Most guys family memeber who find out things like that, shriek because though as picturesque, the profile maybe; its a secret revealed. What your brother has put up is a defense wall; its going to take time for it to come down and really heal.

I know when I told my mom and dad; I had sex with a male, I WAS ready for instant boot out the door, she first asked, do you have HIV? I laughed inside and said: "NO" she said: "Were you protected?" I said: "YES" and you can tell the hurt in their eyes, but things moved on, wounds healed over and we moved on.

Let your brother deal with what he thinks is you hating him; because you can give him the rainbow all you want; but until in his eyes he sees that you love him, he'll never be able to fully accept the fact that he is love. Remember Matthew Sephard. Remember Columbine. These are all hate crimes, so he's looking at the rammifcations of people who are gay.

He's trying to figure out why, is my family not giving me grief? Why are they not hating me? Its easier to hate, but when you are loved, it takes sometime to really, let that digest and really sink into your heart.

Give him space. Let him breathe. Let him setlte. Let him come to you. Believe me, he will. Just let everything take its river down the road. Then you never know, he just might give you a rainbow.

J.

Answer 7

Well, you're a bit sneaky, so maybe you can get him to read this very post and then tell him you are the person who posted it.

I think that it is a beautiful thing to be able to be one's whole self with the people they love. However, there are reasons he's keeping it quiet, and maybe he's still getting used to the idea. Keep in mind that he may not be afraid of you - but that of what this means to him as well.

Answer 8

That's oddly sweet, despite your lack of writing ability. Uh, just talk to him. It's a bad question though. I'm not saying that because your situation is stupid, which it isn't, but because we are not able to give any real answers other than "Do it" or "Don't do it". But yes, talk to him about his gayness, tell him you're okay with it, etc. Just be like, "Are you gay?!" Just do that. It's the simplest way he'll open up about it. If he denies it, just say, "I know you are! I'm okay with it" then hug or something.

Answer 9

Wow, you have real trouble on your hands. I suggest sitting down with your brother and saying,"I saw your profile on that website. What was that all about?" If you say that in a calm manner, he'll probably tell you everything. Just go from there. Good luck.

Answer 10

First of all, know who you are, what you will do with your life, and who you care about. Secondly, love him for who he is, not what he is doing. Give him, and yourself, the dignity and respect that every human deserves. Don't let the situation overwhelm you. He is still your brother and family, and he may need you and his family as much as you need him. Be honest. Be clear. Be yourself. Be there.