If I accepted Jesus, how would this work in my relationship and with sex?

Question

Okay, some backstory. I'm not Christian, I'm Wiccan- have been for about 6 or 7 years now. That doesn't mean I am no longer interested in Christianity. A previous question I asked on here was about if Jesus's gift was really free-
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArMETpZge62REgk8LtWXpcHsy6IX?qid=20060803112943AAhG7wV

Someone asked what parts of the Bible I felt the most against, etc. Well, the biggest part for me is the pre-marital sex. In Wicca, sex is not viewed as bad and should be celebrated. I am in a serious relationship with my bf and yes, we do have sex and we also live together. We are committed and monogamous and want to get married. However, financially and due to my needing to finish college, marriage just isn't an option right now (I wish it were). Now, here is where I have the problem- people said that if I were to accept Christ, I would not want to "sin." Most would say that premarital sex was a sin. Here's the dilemma...

I would not want to stop having sex, and even if I did, because of Jesus, I think it would cause problems in our relationship. NO, that does not mean it is all about sex, but anyone who has had sex before can tell you that if their partner suddenly said they didn't want to have sex again until marriage (which could be years) would most likely be a little stressed out. This is one of the biggest stumbling blocks I have with Christianity and when people ask me to believe in Jesus- I'd have to stop doing this? Just because of a ceremony, it would be a sin, yet due to personal reasons we just can't get married right now. I don't think I would stop having pre-marital sex after accepting Jesus, and I imagine that would probably be wrong in most Christians eyes. Christians... please tell me your thoughts on this. I don't hate Christianity, I just don't agree with some parts of it. Tell me your take on this and explain some things to me so I can have a better understanding of your religion.

Yes, I will admit that this topic is something that frustrates me, but I am trying to have a better understanding of it.

Another aspect to this too, is I don't see how accepting Jesus in this very specific situation would not make a person somewhat miserable? Possibly ruin the relationship because you suddenly changed two important aspects of yourself (religion and sexual practices). I don't see how possibly being alone, and/or having a very confused, frustrated and maybe angry boyfriend/future husband would be a good thing?

Answer 1

If you accept Jesus, you should follow His teachings, even though they are hard and we have other desires. The Bible mentions that even demons know and acknowledge Jesus. But that doesn't mean that they accept Him and follow His word.

I think you are being called to accept Jesus. Find a church that has a community that can help you grow spiritually. They are people who have gone through what you are going through, and their insights and prayers may help you. Talk to your partner about this. Does he believe in Christ too? Be active in church together.

Don't get married just to have sex. But if the only hurdle to getting married is financial, that is not a true answer. A wedding is costly, but a trip to the judge is not, and it will marry you in the eyes of God and society.

Being Christian isn't supposed to make life easier. It's often the reverse.

God bless.

Answer 2

Part of my religion is Catholic, but also confirmed as an Episcopalian. Now I've been told or at least about the consequences of pre-marital sex. For me, my choice to not do it is not because of religon, but because that doing this act with someone else takes alot of thinking, time and energy. It's special because it is a physical experience, one that gives you this enormous amount of pleasure not felt before, especially when doing it with another person. It's only troublesome when sex is the only focus on your life or if you have sex with someone for the wrong reasons.

Now with Wicca, it is also considered a religon, not just a cult. It can turn into a cult like any other established religions. And I would think Jesus is not some condemning figure, being human he would know about human urges and desires and use it in a way to helping you lead a good and harmonious life, just like how Wicca goes if I'm right a little.

Answer 3

My first question would be... if you already live together in the same house, if you got married, and continued living EXACTLY the same way as you are now... you paying for your stuff, him paying for his, or whatever, why isn't marriage an option? The only difference would be a certificate saying you were married. You wouldn't have to have an expensive ceremony or even rings.. but at least you would be married.

Now, to answer you real question. Pre-marital sex is a sin, and even if you become a Christian and realize it is wrong, you are probably still going to WANT to have sex. Many time our desires don't go away just because we accept Christ. One passage in the Bible says if your hand offends, better to lose a hand than your soul. Meaning, is sex so important that you would risk your soul burning in Hell for eternity-- if sex was the only thing keeping you from God? Here is my suggestion. Accept the Lord and see where it goes from there....if you mess up Jesus will forgive you... but don't take that as a license to sin. If your boyfriend loves you he will wait for you.... he will understand if it is meant to be. :) I will pray for you...

Answer 4

Christianity will only be vicious to you if:

1. You do not get married.

2. Are not still young when you first get married.

Christianity looks down on premarital sex, but apparently marriage in "your youth" makes up for it. Oh, I know about the dogma. I'm talking about the people and how they REALLY behave. There are sections of the Bible that talk about "the wife of your youth." If you're an older male that never managed to get married, consider that most talk about relationships ceases to consider that you still exist. It is this subtle form of ostracization (that plays itself out in church membership behavior) that I find hateful of the religion (let alone much of the more overt hate mongering). Women? It doesn't say much because it was meant for a male world - mostly that you should be submissive and love God more than your husband... Maybe even hate your husband! Really, it's kind of screwed up there.

Answer 5

From what I understand, there are several types of Christians. Not all Christians believe that pre marital sex is a sin.

Is that the only thing stopping you from from being Christian? Are you currently a Wiccan? What promoted you to follow a Wiccan path? Do you believe in the Goddess? How does that fit into being Christian.

Oh my Goddess I have alot of questions for you.

Answer 6

Well, as a Christian, I agree with you that sex is a wonderful, sacred thing, it strengthens relationships, and is how we create life. I see that special bond created by sex as something to be shared in a committed marital relationships were a stable family can safely be formed (we all know most forms of birth control aren't 100% effective). The concept of sex outside of wedlock being a sin isn't because sex in and of itself is a dirty thing, it's to protect us from heartache (children without committed parents, STDs, becoming that intensly bonded with someone who has no obligation to stick around).

It's true, if you decided to practice abstinence until your wedding day, your boyfriend may not take it so well, but hopefully he really loves you, and cares for you enough to support you through your decisions. (If he's not that kind of guy, you may want to re-think the relationship).

As a newlywed (1 1/2 years, and my husband hasn't graduated yet), I can also tell you that being able to afford college isn't a good reason not to get married because you will qualify for sooo many more grants, scholarships, student loans, tax breaks, and other forms of financial aid when you are married.

Best of luck to you, religion aside I can tell you're in a phase in your life where you'll have lots of big decisions to make, man I know it's hard - best wishes!

Answer 7

First off, this isn't about your convenience here, it is about that you are disobeying God himself in your life. You need to submit to the will of God. He owns the world and owns us and has the right to give commandments...
Your idea of not getting married, a marriage license and simple ceremony are very cheap and marriage is marriage. I think that one is about your family and your desire for a big wedding.. For all practical purposes you are married but without a formal commitment, and that is what marriage is about. A commitment before God to be a family come what may.
Salvation is not about you accepting Jesus, it is about you being sorry that you are rebellious and wanting to stop rebelling against your Heavenly Father. If you ask then he will forgive you and help you to not sin.
First just go and get married and forget the big wedding, you are already acting like married people {living together} so do the paperwork.. Then get on your knees and ask forgivness for all this mess you have made of your life and start to live for him.
Anyway my e-mail is shown so you can yell at me or ask questions..

Answer 8

You tell me... Where in the Bible does it say you shouldn't have premarital sex? It says that is a man take a virgin (That's am unwed woman these days) He will make her his wife.. Sorry but before God you are married. God doesn't need the State's permission to unity a couple. The Bible is right about fidility. You know how dangerous it is to play around with differnt partners. Marriage is a State institution. It has more to do with business and taxes than it does love and fidility. As for Wicca you worship the creation rather than the creator. That sounds like a cart before the horse to me.

Answer 9

We cannot use the Bible as a cafeteria and pick out only the parts we like, God is telling us, the only way to go on to an eternal life, and be protected by his love is through his commandments and through accepting Jesus Christ as our saviour, we might think we know what is best for us, but I would rather have God watching over me, as God already knows what happens, and what sin leads to.
Other Religions won't get you to your reward in heaven and will only lead you to dispair and unhappiness in the end.

Answer 10

despite common perception, if you actually read the bible it does not define premarital sex as the a "sin" in the way we think of the word. jesus preached forgiveness and selflessness, he did not waste his time meddling in peoples' personal affairs. if you are not hurting anyone (i.e. being safe physically and emotionally) then he would not have a problem with it. it is unrealistic to think he himself lived as a human for over 30 years and never once gave into human nature himself