What is the funniest "Little Jonny" Joke?

Answer 1

SCREW LITTLE JONNY, IT'S ALL ABOUT LITTLE TONY:

LITTLE TONY ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose! the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."


LITTLE TONY ON MATH

Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father ?

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3,' " I said "6", replies TONY.

"But that's right !" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2 ?"

"What's the ******** difference ?" asks the father.

"That's what I said !"



LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word ?"

TONY says, "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little

TONY, that's a mouthful."

Little TON Y says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow.job."



LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR


Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tit.s, you'd be a TEN !"



LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR


One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie,"! replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael !" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just ******** beautiful !'"




LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time ?"
Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own ******** business."'

Answer 2

The children were asked to find the meaning of the word 'contagious' by asking their parents for an example and using it in a sentence.

Next day the teacher asked for their sentences.

Little Peter said. "Last Christmas we went to the pantomime and when the Ugly Sisters came on Mummy laughed so much that everyone joined in. Daddy said it was 'contagious' laughter."

"Very good." Said the teacher. "Mary, what about you?"

"Please Miss." Said Mary "Last year I caught measles and Mummy kept me off school because she said I had a 'Contagious' disease and the other children might catch it if I went."

"Please Miss." Said Little Johnny. "I've got one. Last night when I got home my dad was stood at the front garden gate watching a lorry deliver a load of quick drying cement to the house across the road. As it happened the man had gone on holiday and my Dad said 'It'll take that c unt ages to shift that!"

Answer 3

Check out the movie "Natural Born Killers". Woody Harrelson tells a LJ joke during his interview in prison. It's a good one.

Answer 4

• have you ever tried ethiopean nutrition? Neither have they • Whats the version between a jew and a pizza? Pizza makes it out of the oven • Whats swifter than a black guy with a television? His son with the vcr (old, i comprehend)

Answer 5

little johnny and little janie were playing. little janie said i bet i can slide down the rail faster than you! so they both hopped on opposite hand-rails. little janie was in the lead but she slammed into the wall when she finished. she fell to the floor. johnny got off to see how she was. little janie was crying and said it hurt and pointed between her legs. so little janie pulled down her pants to show the both of them the damage. little johnny jumped back and said "WHOA YOU KNOCKED YOURS RIGHT OFF!''