My boyfriend gets very controlling and angry when I talk back to him in a way he doesn't like, or try to leave when we start arguing. He will come up and hit me in the mouth, hold me down, punch me in the stomach, and do anything to keep me at his house. He even chokes me for a littel bit. I am so terrified at the time he is hurting me, that I do not run away or leave because I know he will physically hurt me worse. I end up staying to calm ourselves down and a few hours later he will already have convinced me that it won't happen again.. or that I deserved it because i was lipping off in the first place. What kind of idiot would stay with him? He tries to treat me well to sucker me back in I think.. and I always do. I have now lost almost all of my friends and don't really talk to much of anyone else except him and my co-workers. How can I gain some self esteem and get out of this relationship!?!?
2006-08-03 09:40:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have been in your shoes, it acutally sounds just like me. First of all, he doesn't want you to have any friends because then you will have someone other than him. Guys like him have serious issues, and from experience they are manipulative as hell. My ex boyfriend would beat me and then cry when I threatened to stand up to him. The main thing you need to know is that no matter how many times he says he is sorry and it wont happen again........believe me, it will. If you do anything just seriously think it through, you can live without him although he has more than likely made you believe that you are worthless and no one would ever have you again. You are worth it and you need to get out of it before you end up with children in the middle. If you need to talk email me....chickadee112582@yahoo.com
2006-08-03 10:22:58 · answer #1 · answered by chickadee112582 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the answer to your own question.
Very easily you know that you are in a bad situation. But you are scared to leave? Perhaps you are scared of the unknown more than the known. You know that he will hit or choke you again. You know that your friends have left you because you won't listen to anyone. Why ask us..the people who don't know you.
Answer your own question.
You get self-esteem from doing things you are afraid of doing. Perhaps you should convince yourself that you are on a journey to find yourself...not leave the loser that you stay with.
There are lots of websites and counselors that can tell you how to leave a loser. Just leave. How bad can it be? Is it worse than being dead? Because one day you will be. Maybe not physically, but emotionally.
The way to gain some self-esteem and get out of this relationship is to walk out the door. Perhaps you just like the attention. I hope not....because there are better ways to get some attention.
Get up and walk out the door. You don't have one reason to stay.
2006-08-03 16:52:40 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of idiot would stay with him up ask. You have answered your own question. Not suggesting that you are an idiot but hey girl walk out the door and get on with your life. Nothing positive is going to come out of this relationship. I think you know this. What are you holding on for? Talk to your family and friends. I am sure if you reach out for help someone will be there to guide you. GOOD LUCK!
2006-08-03 17:00:30 · answer #3 · answered by Black Beauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to think of yourself as an important person before you leave.
i would state why your angry, say end of story and walk away. if that can't get him to open his eyes then leave. if you have a cell phone have a text message ready to go for a friend so that friend knows to call the police...when the police arrive and hear and see the marks he leaves on you, he will go to jail. he needs to go to jail! then you can move your belongings out while he is not able to prevent you from leaving.
if you fear leaving, go get a restraint order of protection first. (and have the cell number and text ready to be sent to your friend)
YOU are worthy of having a decent relationship. No longer be subject to his fears about himself.
It is actually him that has the low self esteem to begin with....don't let his illness affect you any longer.
if you have to, leave your belongings and go as you were shopping. there are shelters for battered women and it is not a bad experience, nor will anyone look down on you for living in one.
good luck to you!
2006-08-03 17:12:26 · answer #4 · answered by giggling.willow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i go to some clases of this cause the relationship i have with my hubby is very destructive. First of all you need to tell someone! Its easier to do something if someone knows even if they dont care. Try to get out everytime he gets mad like that and if he touches you call the police, trust me, they will take him to jail and order some clases like me which really help. If you want they will place an order and he wont be able to get close to you!
2006-08-03 16:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by Baby Doña! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if its worth risking your relationship and you better tell yourself that it is.
Then call the cops for some advice if he gets more abusive.
2006-08-03 16:51:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stab him in the throat w/ a steak knife. then see how mad he gets.
2006-08-03 16:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by joe_smo_red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋