so heres my situation.. my boyfriend ditched me to help his friend move into his aparment. yet. his friend has a girlfriend, and 3 other people helping him. Their 2O! .. its not like its a huge house or anything.. he ditched me only a few hours before were suppose to go out and thinks he can make it up tomorrow. Yet i already have plans with my friend tomorrow. and hes mad because i feel like im always second to his friends, guitar, and addiction. All the time. its a boring routine relationship were all we do is watch movies, or have sex. how should i feel about this?. i realize its not been at all of a long relationship. but like im 17, hes 2O.. HELP.*
2006-08-03 09:33:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no..this is not a healthy relationship. if he doesn't listen to your feelings, he's not good for you. maybe u do like him alot, and maybe he likes u, that's why u got together. but that's not what's gonna *keep* u together! relationship takes work..it should be a positive, respectful and appreciative work, not annoying and resentful. sounds like he doesn't want to validate any of your feelings about feeling last place, and that's not right. a man will make you feel secure, accepted, loved, appreciated, respected and that you're #1!! that doesn't mean he has to give up all those other things, but he has to learn what it is YOU need to feel #1, and he could have it all. instead he is being a jerk about it and yanking u around. i think u should give him an ultimatum: set boundaries, tell him what u what in a boyfriend. u like him, but if he doens't change, ur outta there. watch his reaction, does he care? does he want to change? ok, give him a chance. or, does he turn it around, blame you, get angry, say your feelings are wrong or stupid? DUMP HIM. u don't want a guy who doesnt' accept your feelings, regardless of if ur wrong or right. if he loves you, he would *take care of you*....and make you feel safe. instead u feel used and like you're begging for his time. that's not my dream boyfriend.. =T....
2006-08-03 09:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that the relationship isn't going to go anywhere other then watching movies and having sex, I say get out of it now, since it's still early into the relationship it wont hurt too bad. And if he gets mad because at how you feel about him putting you last always definitely ditch him because he's not being understanding. He was totally wrong for not spending time with you and your day, so I say keep the plans you have for tomorrow, let him know how it feels to be put last. You are too young to be stressed out over any relationship.
2006-08-03 09:43:18 · answer #2 · answered by taashadee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, depending on which state you live in, as a 17 year old, your boyfriend of 20 might be committing sexual crimes by having sex with you. But that is besides the point.
The point is obviously your BF does not put you in his first place. He leaves you to be with his friends, then becomes upset at you not accomodating your schedule to fit his. Tell yourself, is this the type of behavior you like? If not, break it to him that this is unacceptable and offer him suggestions on how to improve this situation. The longer you continue to tolerate him, the longer you are telling him that he can get away with it.
Relationships involve a lot of communication. Being 17, you probably think he is the one for you forever. But be mindful that there are other better men out there. Ones who will treasure you and not have his "addiction" take precedence over you.
In a nutshell, tell him he needs to change or dump him.
Good luck!
2006-08-03 09:41:36 · answer #3 · answered by linjenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish to help a friend move, it's selfless. You should be more like him.
He should leave you, or you should do a major reality check. I have trash that has been around longer than your relationship, the fact that you have all these expectations and are putting all this crap on him is inexcusable. This is why men shouldn't go out with little kids.
Stop dating. You can't handle it.
2006-08-03 09:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a man that respects you and listens to you! Be glad you figured this guy out early!
2006-08-03 09:37:29 · answer #5 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y didn't u go with him? he's not the one that has to break plans and stuff all the time. give a little to get a little.
2006-08-03 09:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just dump him and get one you like better.
Why didn't you go with him to help his friends move?
2006-08-03 09:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl dump him and get another man who know how to make a girl feel
2006-08-03 09:41:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him sweetie, get somebody who wants to have fun doing what you want for once a guy that will please you in everytway, i know i would, thats selfish of him and inconsiderate
2006-08-03 09:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just dump him.
2006-08-03 09:38:31 · answer #10 · answered by talkwithflowers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋