Supose you are the father. Your birthday is tomorrow. Your son gives you today a touching bday gift and the weekly school report which is very bad ( 2 tests failed and behaivour complains) Normaly you would punish him severly for it. Will the touching gift make you not do that ?
He is retaking in summer school 3 subjects he failed . The bad report is due to not trying hard enough and just messing around
2006-08-03 09:19:12 · 13 answers · asked by L R 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It feels like a bribe as it came one day earlier and together witht he report.
2006-08-03 09:34:58 · update #1
These are two separate issues.. I would punish him just the same.. you think he does not know his timing was good?.. he is trying to play you.. you need to show him your the parent at anytime but I would also stress how much you love the present and make sure his punishment does not exclude him from your birthday dinner or whatever you have planned for tomorrow he should be included in it.. but I would in no way let him get away with bad behavior then you are just saying if you give me something nice it erases the bad you have done.. and it shouldn't because what he does at school is harming his future.. make sure he knows that what he does in school effects him for the rest of his life.. I mean he already lost his summer to retake classes.. please don't let this slide now!
2006-08-03 09:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by michelle_az_22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank him from your heart for the touching gift then punish him for the bad reports just as you would have done had you not received the gift. Just make sure he knows why and what's going on.
Happy Birthday!
2006-08-03 09:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by Slam64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him probation. If he works hard and brings it up by say, the next school quarter, then he's off the hook. If he still can't seem to take some responsibility for his actions or his work, then punishment is in order.
TIP: In my front yard a had a pile of 5 inch boulders. Everytime my sons behavior was bad, he had to carry 6 to 10 boulders to the back yard one at a time. I told him he needed to learn to do hard labor jobs because if he can't cut it in school, that is what he will be stuck with. After about 6 months I had a rock pile in the back yard. He came in sweating with a sigh of relief. Then I Told him that I changed my mind, I wanted them back in the front yard. He still reminds me of those days, and accredits his going to college to my rock pile.
2006-08-03 09:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's buying you a b-day gift... you should still punish him because he gave them to you at the same time to prevent you from punishing him. If you don't punish him, he'll think that all he has to do is give you a gift in order to not get into trouble.
2006-08-03 09:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son is smart enough to cause you such confusion (it does sound deliberate), He is smart enough to get a passing grade.
Allowing him to continue his rebellious behavior is showing the opposite of love and will only harm him in the future because he will think manipulating people is easier than accomplishing his duties.
Thank him for the nice gift and get on with the consequences he has earned.
2006-08-03 09:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by chubbiguy40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, the gift wouldn't change the severity of the punishment i'd give. i would treat the gift & report card as 2 separate cases, as in "thanks for the gift, but we need to talk about your report card...."
i actually think the son is trying to bribe "me" and make "me" forget about his awful report card by giving an extra-good gift...something to think about...
2006-08-03 09:25:20 · answer #6 · answered by veevee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him like that card shows, you will provide him with the tough love he needs in order to get his academics in order. Yes, you must follow through on the punishment.
2006-08-03 09:24:19 · answer #7 · answered by Olive Green Eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should still punish him does he ever study?
If he doesn't ground him and just so you know he study make up a little pretest for him!
I definitely think you should ground him!
By the way were they on the same subject?
2006-08-03 10:38:52 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Perfect! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank him for the card and gift, tell him how much you appreciate it and how nice it is. Then punish him.
2006-08-03 09:24:52 · answer #9 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him or her, off the hook, just that once. Afterall, a bd is the time to say, Thank you. But I'd also just talk to her/him about the report card.
2006-08-03 10:09:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋