Why do I dislike kids so much?

Question

I'm 28, an only child and I have no plans to have kids, despite being married. I have never babysat, nor do I enjoy being in the company of kids. My sister in law has two girls (soon to be 7 and 5) who I call the two brats. I thoroughly dislike being around them because they are spoiled, always loud and running around, and they think the entire world resolves around them only. When I was 5, I knew everyone's birthday in my immediate family - these two only know of their own birthdays and that's all they care about - and of couse my sister in law throws entire family birthday parties for them both every year - which are expensive and a waste of a Sunday afternoon -yes we have to spend 6 hours at their house. I hate it. They live in a 3,000 sq. foot home. These girls are totally clueless - they live this perfect life and will expect this to continue for the rest of their lives. They think everyone is here to serve them. Their mother rarely disciplines them. Is it just me?

Is it just me or do these kids strike anyone else as totally annoying? They always want to play and I tell them no thanks. They can ask me a million times and I keep saying no. It is hard to be around them. When I was a kid, I was constantly around adults and grew to prefer them. This is the first time I've been around kids to this extent and it is driving me nuts. I actually can't wait till they reach an age where they hate hanging out with family and go do their own thing. Do most people feel this way or am I just a kid hater?

Just because I am an only child doesn't mean I was spoiled. I behaved on my best all the time because my Mom spanked me if I didn't. These girls get almost zero discipline. My husband absolutely adores them so I can't avoid going to their parties. I just don't get it. I don't get the interest in kids. When I think about the very possibility, it makes me almost ill. They're just annoying brats - every last one of them.

TO THE GUY WHO SAID I'M AN ONLY CHILD, HOW DO I HAVE A SISTER IN LAW? IT'S BECAUSE I'M MARRIED YOU IDIOT.

Answer 1

I'm the same way and take a lot of crap for it.

Kids are too spoiled and unruly now. Maybe if their parents were more responsible I wouldn't dislike them as much.

I don't plan on having any. I don't even like being around them.

Answer 2

WOW, you really have some children issues. I don't think those kids are acting any different than most children do at that age. There are MANY people out there in the world who feel the exact same way you do. HATE being around children. However I honestly feel that since they ARE your neice's and they are not with you on a daily basis, you really should MAKE yourself spend time with them. Even if it's for an hour out of the 6 that you are there, you honestly will regret it later in life, I PROMISE you. I don't think you have to worry yourself over how you feel about children. You don't intend on having any so theres really no problem. Theres racisim and bigitry in the world right? Well you just have something different, you hate kids. Everyone has some sort of thing in thier life that seems a little off. Don't sweat it but as I said, Try your hardest to love those kids the best you can. They are part of you weather you like it or not and it would mean a lot to your sister to show love to her children...even if you have to fake it, they are just kids, they won't know the difference.

Answer 3

Being an only child does give one a different perspective than a child with several siblings. But I had 3 older sisters that I mainly played with and we were raised to be totally respectful of any adult, whether a relative, a neighbor, teacher, anybody. Running around the house, yelling, just being heard instead of seen was taboo. If we did that at anyone else's home or in public, we were immediately yanked back into the car and disciplined sternly at home. I had one birthday party growing up because we didn't have much money & it was always blistering hot in the summer. Yet all of us have the fondest memories of growing up and are proud of the way our parents taught us to tow the line and how to behave around other people. I don't think you should feel like you're some kind of mean, cold person because you aren't comfortable around children. At least you are honest about it. Look at how many people have baby after baby and have no clue about raising them and b*tch about their kids when it was their responsibility whether or not to have children to begin with. You have a right to your personal life choices and opinions about children but in my opinion, those two little girls sound like they would drive me nuts too and I doubt I'd want to hang around that house either.

Answer 4

First off we have to look at your childhood...
1) you was an only child.....That will give you a one sided look at the world......YOURS...
2) You are 28..That is a weird age for anyone...Kids are like a tv that never turns off..and always playing reruns..
3) You have a problem with the B-Day parties..Did you not have any as a kid.??
Kids learn from what the see and hear..They are always looking to learn about Adults and there living area....

Are you crasy or a child hater...I say NO..
Just alitte caught up in life and you have no room for them at this time and place in your life..
Not everyone is made to raise children the same as not everyone can cook or work on cars or anything else....

It sounds like to me that the main issue here is......You see these kids having the life you wanted as a kid and never got.....It is not a bad thing you just need to remember that they are not yours and you can go home and get away at anytime....

Just open you eyes and you heart and close your past off and you may see them in a better light..
As far as the kids thinking that they deserve what they have........We all want our kids to have a better life then what we had......or at least we try to give them a better one....
It is just human nature

Answer 5

You aren't a kid hater, you are just suffering from not enough attention yourself. You would rather everyone make a big fuss over you and you are jealous of the way the children are being treated.

Many kids these days are brats, however, it could also be that you just hate the way people are raising their kids these days. Go volunteer at a Boys and Girls Club or surf the web for kids that need adoption and read their stories and perhaps you won't be so hard on all children anymore.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear that you dislike kids so much. Maybe you have never had a good sense of what it was like to be a kid? or perhaps you still haven't met a kid that really draws to you. Perhaps by having a child yourself you will learn how much you will love that child, and learn over time to appreciate there child friends. But besides that im not sure there is much to do about your disliking of those children. But you know what? I bet you couldnt tell the difference between a kid and an adult on this site. And that really shows something.

Answer 7

Um, I think you're just a kid hater...but that's okay! I mean, I love kids but they are definitely annoying at times. I think it could have something to do with growing up a single child but who cares what it has to do with. It doesn't make you a bad person that you don't like being around or want kids. It's good that you recognize this. The last thing we need in this world is another woman popping out kids who won't take care of them - no offense! I also think kids are out of control because their parents don't discipline properly or are too lazy to teach them manners.

Answer 8

I'm 25, and also have an uncanny ability to remember people's birthdays--even people I only met once, years ago. My grandma is the same way--if you told her your birthday decadesago she will remember it! Coincidentally, Grandma's birthday is today, August 3rd. My boyfriend is a lot like you, only a middle child, who felt left out, and does not like kids one bit. Does not like his niece too much, because of all the attention she receives. He loves philosophical discussions, and prefers to be clinical/analytical/detached. Being an intellectual, perhaps you prefer an older age group teenagers, who don't run around screaming, and can verbalize their feelings and opinions coherently. Babies/small children aren't everyone's cup of tea. I don't want biological kids either; I'd rather adopt an older child from Russia. I was born there and my family has been involved in Russian adoptions for over a decade. I have heard hundreds of wonderful adoption stories and met some fantastic, happy kids.

Answer 9

I think you answered your own question--you're an only child who grew up in the company of adults. Therefore, your own childhood was stunted; maybe you even resent your nieces because they are living the ignorant, carefree existence of childhood while you are overly responsible. These girls are only 5 and 7 years old and do not deserve your contempt, which is what I get from your statements. You also seem to be envious of your sister-in-law, and it carries over into your feelings about these children.

If you want people to feel compassion towards you, have some compassion for others.

Answer 10

It's normal to dislike kids, but to hate them is a bit extreme. Is it possible that you feel resentful because you never had the same priveleged childhood as your nieces? I can clearly see a twinge of jealousy on your part.

I have known married couples who didn't want/like kids, but they usually change and mellow down after several years when they get older. People who can relate to kids are usually more patient and understanding. You don't have to like every kid you see, but you have to tolerate them to a certain extent for their shortcomings--they are after all, just children! I know you probably matured faster than your nieces but you know, they're not YOU and they'll never be like you. Every person is born differently and you should respect that. I think your concerns are petty and you need to set aside your feelings and be less selfish--they only have birthday parties once a year, and it's not like you see those kids everyday.

Remember, you were once a kid too! You probably drove some older person nuts as well but were too young to know!

Answer 11

You hear how some people wish they were born an only child, but then they hear a story like your's and are grateful they were not denied a "typical" childhood.
I mean typical as in siblings and and access to other children your own age.
Obviously your parents denied you the opportunity to associate with other children and because of that I feel sad for you.
You will have no one to share your pain when you parents pass, you'll be alone.
If you do not have any children, you will have to depend upon strangers for your well being when you are elderly.