How do you deal with an obnoxious co-worker?

Question

This guy I work with, started about a year after I did. He doesn't seem to understand the chain of command. He started after I did, therefore I am considered his superior, yet he's constantly telling ME what to do. Now, I'm 22, a year older than him, but I look like I'm a few years younger, and I'm pretty skinny. Meanwhile, he's balding and looks about 5 years older than he actually is, and he's fat. I guess he sees me as inferior due to my size and thinks he can just push me around. Anyway, I'm babbling now. My question was how do I get this guy to leave me the hell alone? He's constantly mouthing off, pretending to slit my throat with his box cutter, "play" hitting me in the shoulder. I hate that kind of crap. I don't want to tell my boss as I'll feel like I'm taddling, and I should be able to handle this on my own.

I had no idea where to place this question.

Ok people, maybe I didn't use the right word when describing my position. I'm not his superior, but I do have seniority, and according to my boss this means that whoever's below me has to do whatever I say.

Ummm, I'm a guy by the way.

Answer 1

First, try to have a serious conversation with him, letting him know that his behavior is bothering you. Relax when you say it because he'll end up getting defensive and you won't be able to get your point across.

If he doesn't take you seriously, go ahead and talk with your supervisor. Let him/her know that you've tried discussing the situation with your coworker, but he didn't abide. It won't be tattling. In fact, pretending to slit your throat with his box cutter is not only childish, it's downright dangerous. Any employer who does not take action to prevent their employees from doing this to each other should be reported to his/her superior.

Answer 2

Hi. I just read about every answer so far, and everyone has neglected to say this:
1.) You have been violated. ASSAULT IS AN ASSAULT. It is against the LAW !!!
The box cutter is an assault with a deadly weapon. It doesn't matter if he's laughing his fat head off, that is psychotic behavior!! REPORT HIM NOW !!
2.) Second violation ASSAULT, play "hitting" is a sweet way to put it. But he is assaulting you every time he hits you in the arm. REPORT HIM NOW !!!
I would fire his lard a-- . No explanation is needed for assault. I'd like to catch him at the airport wailing his box cutter. He'd be in jail, then other people would be safe.
Your being more than bullied, and don't put up with this.
Mouthing off? This is possibly another form of assault, but your taking it too lightly. Please nice guys like you need to speak up, so do it as soon as you go back to work.
Just trust me on this, I know exactly what I'm talking about. I had to control over 400 employee's at one time. There is NO room for this in the work place.

Answer 3

Ahh, serious answer or silly answer. Hmm.

OK, first things first. You gotta stop thinking you are better than him. If your the same level at the company neither of you is the others superior. He's not yours, and your not his. Thinking like that is gonna cause tension.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with being fat and balding.

Have you tried talking to him?
Tell him politely that you don't like the way he behaves towards you. Ask him to stop pretending to slit your throat. If after you've spoken to him you can go to the boss guilt free. You'd have given him his chance.

But remember - neither of you is the superior one,

Answer 4

Well, from my vast experiences in the workplace....seniority (especially something as small as a year) doesn't rate as anything in the Chain of Command as you've stated. Unless your employer has established you as his superior, you are nothing more than a coworker with 1 year experience over him.

That does not excuse his behavior. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you need to address the specific behavior with him. Pretending to slit your throat with a weapon that is capable of doing it is not play...that is a viable threat that needs to be addressed with management. Right now it is just "play", but if his goal or intent is to keep you submissive and allow him to "gain" advances ahead of you...then perhap he is more unstable than you know.

In today society even the smallest threats need to be reported otherwise your coworker just ends up as the guy that kills you at work....and everyone just tells the media afterwards, "Oh, he was just another quiet guy that everyone liked. Wonder what went wrong."

If your business does consider you his superior in the chain of command, then I am sure there are proper ways to document his behavior accordingly.

Answer 5

Actually, he sounds insecure.

When he starts doing this, keep your cool, be polite, and give him tasks: Hey Steve, can you hand me that stapler? Thanks, I appreciate it.

Always be warm and polite, and mildly conversational. The tasks should keep his hands full.

If he won't do the task (Ha, ha, get the stapler yourself ! ), give him a look like you are too busy for his antics and cold shoulder him.

Then repeat next time he starts up with a different task. This needs to come across as natural, and should never involve him actually helping you complete your work.

This way he is HELPING YOU, which gives you the upper hand. Make it a habit and soon he will either be wrapped around your finger, or will avoid you so that he doesn't have to help you.

And DEFINITELY report the boxcutter thing. That is not acceptable on any level.

Answer 6

You do need to tell your boss. It isn't taddling; he's interfering with your doing your job, which is what you're there to do.

The people who pay you want everyone doing their work, and it's in their best interest to not have a hostile environment in the workplace.

Besides, it sounds like he's dangerous (I don't mean intentionally, but pretending to slit people's throats with a box cutter is a homicide begging to happen).

Answer 7

Well, if you truly are the boss of him you would know what to do. However, I have found along time ago that sometimes, things like that will go away without doing anything and ignoring him. However, if that doesn't work, put a hole in his coffee cup, start taping his phone down, re-adjust his favorite seat...you get the idea...Good Luck...

Answer 8

First of all, I think it is YOU who needs to understand the "chain of command." If you and this guy hold the same level position, you are not his superior. You may have "seniority" because you were there a year longer, that's all.

Secondly, you should not have to put up with his harrassing behavior. Your company should have a published harrassment policy, to advise you what to do in this instance. You should keep a log of dates, times & incidents in order to report this guy to your supervisor and/or HR. Keep in mind that random instances do not necessarily add up to a pattern of harrassment. Again, check your company policies.

Answer 9

He sounds like an ignorant fool. I doubt that he would take you seriously should you try to have a talk with him. Unfortunately, you may have to go to a superior. Perhaps ask your boss for guidance. Can either one of you change working hours or locations?

Answer 10

You need to take confidence lessons. but i have found that in life/work that if somebody is making you feel inferior then it's because they themselves are insecure. next time he really annoys you when there is somebody senior to him around, shout out "DONT DO THAT AGAIN!" or "DONT DO THAT TO ME!"
he will be embarrassed when the senior turns around to see what is happening and chances are he will leave you alone because even though you are small you have shown that you can sting. Bullies need taking down.