I am a Christian, and the girl I want to date is not. Should I just tell her my situation?

Question

I'm sure all Christians reading this know you are supposed to be equally yoked, meaning anyone you are in any kind of dating relationship with needs to be a Christian too.

Well this girl isn't, and I am trying to invite her to church but she hasn't gone yet.

Should I just tell her my situation? Tell her that I can't ask her to be my girlfriend unless she becomes a Christian? Then I'm worried that she will just say she is or become a Christian for the wrong reason.

Meanwhile I really want her to be my girlfriend, and I know she likes me too. What should I do?

thanks for all the great answers so far! there have really been some helpful things said.

but if you are going to post a answer about the equally yoked thing being crazy, try reading 2 Corinthians 6:14:
"
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
"

thanks again & God bless

Answer 1

well, i've been in this exact situation before with a guy I dated. I had to be honest with him and turns out that was our last date. But you have to remember that if you pray about it then wait and listen to God, if she moves on then it wasn't meant to be. But what if it did inspire her to be a christian, and then on down the road you ended up not together, you would have helped save someone and that would be worth the pain it caused you.
Let God use you and don't compromise what you believe!!!!!

Answer 2

It's true, christians should be equally yoked. But is is not a sin for you to date someone who is not a christian. Be a light to her. Don't force religion on her. By your lifestyle you may win her to Christ. The bible says the unbelieveing husband is santified by the wife and the unbelieveing wife is santified by the husband, else were your children unclean now they are holy. This tells me its ok to date or even marry an unbeliever, but I do believe if they love you and you live a christian life there is more than a good chance that day by day as they see the peace of God in your life they will long for that same peace and eventually come to God themselves. Good Luck!! You need to let her know how you feel!!

1 Corinthians 7:14
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Answer 3

First I want you to tell me who is saying you must be equally yoked to be in a relationship. This is simply untrue.

What Church or Pastor told you this lie?

Think about it. If you are in a relationship with a unbeliever, you will have a chance to share the gospel with someone who has never heard it before and you can convince them to become a believer.

On the other hand if you are with a believer, you have no opportunities. If you love the girl then be with her. Plain and simple.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Eph 5:26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
Eph 5:27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Answer 4

You're right. You are supposed to be equally yoked. Tread lightly, my brother, you may enter into some heartache if you fall in love with a non-believer. Do you want your children brought up in a home with one believing parent? Look at the big picture.

Try to spread the truth to her. Pray for her...if God wants you two together, you'll know by her belief. If not, move on. There's a GREAT Christian lady around the corner for you.

Prayer & blessings to you...

Answer 5

First of all, I'm really impressed that you are aware the bible says not to be unequally yoked. Secondly..and I mean this in all kindness and friendship....the bible doesn't ask us to do things for no reason. The verse doesn't say "do not be unequally yoked unless you really want to date someone but they don't believe and....etc. etc."

It's great to invite her to church and be her friend. But don't date an unbeliever. What, truly will you have in common? And don't say she can't be your girlfriend unless she becomes a Christian. No, no no. That is no reason to give ones life to Jesus!

Answer 6

You should open your mind and stop living with such a dogmatic view point. Its fine to invite her to church but to insinuate that she should become Christian so that she can date you is creepy beyond words! If you do bring this up to her and she immediately starts going to church you'll never be able to know for sure that she isn't there just so you can be together. And if she does do this... well, do you really want to be with a girl who can't think for herself? If she wanted to go to church she would with just you inviting her. Let her choose her own path and you can either sack up date her because you like her no matter what your church says, or leave her by the way side because you don't want to burn in hell for what your girl friend does. Does that honestly sound like something "God" would care about?

Answer 7

Look, here's the deal. this hurts but here it is, the hard truth:
IT WILL NOT WORK.
It cannot and it will not. you are compromising your faith and playing with fire. I know so many men and woman who have done this to themselves and let me tell you, it only ends in tears. I myself know how this feels but you have to trust that God knew what he was talking about when he said not to have relationships like that with unbelievers. Either she will draw you away or you will end up seeing the hard way that you cannot change people. The best thing for you to do is to walk away. walk away entirely. from this girl and her friendship. for the sake of your faith, do not do this to yourself. search the scriptures and see that God only wants what's best for you, and that is why he gives us the commands that he does. a great book you might consider reading is 'I kissed dating goodbye' by josh harris.
Don't tell her your situation because she won't understand. this is a dangerous friendship you have and you need to prayerfully consider whether you should even be around this girl. put your faith first, my friend. always put your faith first... no matter the cost.
God bless

Answer 8

Sorry, but the equally yoked thing sounds like a made-up thing. The New Testament seem open to the idea that believers and non-believers might be married.

1 Corinthians 7:14
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. [....]

Maybe you should change churches.

Answer 9

You know how the world react when you said you are a Christian and the equally yoked thing please don't pay attention to the ones who tell you that is crazy. If you know God's word and what he ask from us; you know what is good and what is wrong. Talk to her about how you feel about her, and your concern about that, see how she reacts and put it in to pray. God knows what is best for us, and if your friend don't understand that it, maybe she is not for you. Be strong and don't fall into temptation .

Answer 10

Pray about it. Ask God to show you what to do. If you are suppose to date her then God will show you what to do. If your not suppose to date her then he won't show what to do. Be weary on dating people who are non-believers. The main reason God doesn't want believers to be with non-believers is because the chances that the believer will slip is too great. See the believer will give in to the temptation of the world more than likely quicker than the non-believer will see the light. Just proceed with caution. No relationship with a girl is worth your relationship with Jesus.

Answer 11

Try just being her friend. Ask her to church with you. If she does not go, keep looking for a Christian to date. There is nothing wrong with being friends and asking someone to go to church or trying to lead them to the Lord. Just don't start dating until she already is a Christian. This is for your own good. Think how complicated things could get. Pray about and for this girl.
God be with you both! And do be honest, be a good example.