Is it wrong to tell your significant other that you'll marry them when they lose weight?

Question

Im a bit overweight and my bf is telling me that hell marry me when i lose weigt, i try to make him see that it hurts me but he says i need to respect him

Answer 1

Dump him FAST!!!! He's a JERK!!! He'll only get worse later and he doesn't love you..................KICK HIM TO THE CURB along with his nasty, superficial attitude. YOU DESERVE BETTER!

Answer 2

No it's not wrong. Especially for something as important as marriage. You need to know beforehand where he stands, and he should know the same from you. Too many people spend more time planning the wedding than planning the marriage. Your physical appearance is NOT less important than your personality, or your intellect, or anything else. You can't expect to put forth less effort on your body and physical appearance than on your personality qualities. He has to live with them both, equally. But more importantly, you should want to look attractive for him. Why wouldn't you? And if he wants a trim and fit wife, why wouldn't you want him to have that, if you love him? Even moreso, why would you want him to have a wife that's not attractive to him? Don't you think that he deserves better than that? Don't you think that eventually, he will decide that he can do better than that for himself? Losing weight is not a big deal. But refusing to do so, at the expense of your relationship, is a big deal.

You have to do what strengthens the relationship and brings you two closer. That means practicing love, the verb. Then you can have more of love, the feeling.

Answer 3

What the F ** K did he just said??? he told you to lose weight if getting married and to respect him??? Hell no freaky way will happen. You break off with him now and get the heck out of here.

Reason, That not love, respect, caring, giver, that being control being dumb A@@ all that. wow. What the difference if you lose weight getting married and it gain weight again.. Why? becasue you are happy. not stress or it can be either way.

I never ever tell my wife that. Nope not me, Why, She was little over weight but first moment I saw her my eyes, wow she being her and she beautiful inside and outside. I love her all my heart and asked her out and treat her and being me and she being her and got married and after she had 2 kids and she gain more weight and she not happy. I support her to do what ever I can do to help her. and Also No matter what thin you are or how fat you are always love her inside and being there for her.

I want to go down there and beat the crap out of him and say to him.....show respect for women not just you... It take two people to work and love, caring, giver, truth, everything take two people and most of all you no god damn KING in the house or anywhere. Only GOD and Jesus... Reason I beat the crap out of you because she can't do anything, so I am doing this for her as a friend and If Ever hear you said to any women I will be finding you that how I feel.

No women should go though like this ever..Don't care about if he want respect or what ever he please to do. no no no,,, disagree. and Woman you are very beautiful, smart, i can see you being you and he didn't see that. He try to control you and try to fix you the way he like. wow, so break off and find someone like me becasue I married to woman for 9 years and love her to death and we work together not just one to repect all the time. oh my god.

hope that helps. I took my time to tell you because I do respect you alot and knowing that you will walk out right now...smiling. Your true friend Gene

Answer 4

Not if you want him to lose weight. But then there's the rest of 'til death do us part, and once he's got you in the marriage snare, there's nothing stopping him from putting all the fat back on. Or more.

In fact once you are legally man and wife, he may crack after all those months of discipline and denial and finish the whole Wedding Cake all by himself, including the plastic figurines on top.

Better to wait for someone you can say you love, as the corny song says, "just the way you are".

Answer 5

There is no wrong or write to this question. The fact of the matter is that you do not accept the person. That sends the message that if after the marriage the person puts on weight you are going to step. Once you cannot accept a person for who they are , it makes no sense being with them.

Answer 6

It's totally wrong. If you are with them overweight before marriage, what would be the difference after marriage? Weight doesnt' change the personality or the love. That's control, therefore it's wrong in my opinion to base a relationship on weight control, etc.

Answer 7

Well, were they like that when you met them because if so yes your wrong. If they weren't like that before you met them and it just accumulated over time them you should find a more encouraging way to say it, because when you say it like that it makes it sounds like your only interest is appearance. You could even say, I want to get married but I want to lose some weight first because I want to look perfect on our wedding day, and that you think that you'll succeed if you had someone to do it with and invite him to work out with you.

Answer 8

I'm sure we all agree that health is a priority these days, but this can be handled better. Instead of coming off harsh why not really buckle down and get involved with his/her health. Cook more at home and cook healthy foods, go to the gym together and work out together. Those things will produce better results than insults.

Answer 9

yes that is wrong if your with someone then you should love the way there are and not try to change them and what if they lose the weight and you marry them then what if they put it back on you'll divorce them so think about it

Answer 10

hey hi cheer up.listen to me and listen carefully,see if u r bf says he'll marry u only if u loose weight,then he doesnt love u.bcos love is never conditional.if he is putting on some conditions then that is not true love.ok,lets say u've listeed to him and lost weight and he married u,what if after marriage u gain weight again due to pregnancy.what is he gona do,divorce u.so think about it.but love is not conditional.if some one loves us as we are its ok,if someone wants to change and love us then its not love,they r trying to take us over.ok
take care and have nice time.
may od bless u with all u need
byeeeeeeeeeeeee\
chris

Answer 11

no it is not wrong. if you want to strat things off to a good start you mine as well let everything out of the bag. b/c in the long run the weight will become an issue and cause problems or worse(cheating/divorce) i say; say it both in a supportive way. but don't let it get in the way of how you feel about your spouse.