I'm 16 and my bf and I want a baby..?

Question

I know having a baby is hard work. I know it costs alot and that it is a 24/7 job with no breaks for, like, 19 years or so. My bf has a pretty good job. It pays 12.50 an hour to start and within 2 years he will be up to 25 an hour. He wouldn't be the only one working either. I believe we will make great parents even if for some reason we do not stay together.

I no all of you are against this but, when I think of not having a baby I get severely depressed. I just want to cry and sleep all day. I can't even go through baby sections at stores because I get severely depressed.


I want this baby more then anything and people in my life try to tell me I should wait and tell me how hard it is, but it doesnt help and it doesn't make me want it any less.

If I did get pregnant I am determined to finish school and go to college.

I don't know what to do. I want one so bad to the point where I get severely depressed when I think of waiting or anything, but everyone is against it. HELP!

Being this depressed all the time sucks so much but I don't know how to be happy whe I want this baby so much and it seems like I can't have it...

There is no way of getting away form it either. I try not thinking about it, but then some commercial about baby stuff will come on tv or I'll talk to my bff, who is 7 months pregnant (she's not the reason I want one, by the way)...It seems the world enjoys laughing at me.

I am not religious.

And I can too finish high school and go to college. Lots of teenage moms have done it. it's not impossible.

Finishing school is not ******* impossible. I can do it and if I get pregnant I WILL do it. and people who know what we want said they will be more then happy to babysit while I'm at school.

For those of you who don't know this, probably because you've never been prescribed anit-depressants..

anit-depressants cause suicidal tendencies in teenagers sooo...there probably isnt much, of anything, out there that they could give me for my depression.

Answer 1

I understand your situation, I'm in the same boat right now girl. But I'm 18 and don't go to school. I don't want to be like everybody else telling you not to cuz you're too young or whatever, so I'm gonna say this:
If this is what you BOTH truly want and can make sure your baby will have everything he/she needs, then go for it. You just have to figure out the whole school and living situation. And you do seem very mature for your age seeing how you type and your use of language.
I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK!!!! Follow your heart. :)

Answer 2

As a 31 year old mother of a 16 year old and a 14 year old, I can honestly tell you that having a child that young is NO JOKE. We wanted it too. I was 15 and he was 18. We took care of the babies but my kids didn't get the parenting they deserved because we were NOT mature adults. We sure thought we were and I'm sure you do too. But saying it is hard work is an extreme understatement. You're not just responsible for taking care of them physically. You're responsible for teaching the things that maybe YOU haven't even learned yet. I know from experience. PLEASE don't do this yet! There is plenty of time and later on you'll probably be an excellent mother. But in the meantime, you should talk to your parents and see about getting some counselling for the depression. There is no shame in that! Cause I promise you, if you have a baby now...there will be lots of councelling sessions later! Good luck to you honey, and I hope you make the right decision. Also, I think a child deserves both parents and most likely you and your boyfriend will break up eventually. I even married mine, but it didn't last. I didn't think of the consequences of that to my kids until later when they hated us for the divorce. So be careful!!!

Answer 3

You SAY YOU KNOW -- but you do NOT KNOW. You will NOT finish school like you think you will. Do you have any idea how much daycare costs now? You don't know what you are doing. I would go to the doctor to get something for the depression and maybe some birth control pills. You are still a baby -- you just don't think you are. OMG --- it doesn't matter what your boyfriend makes now. That is irrelevant. You should not be getting pregnant at 16 years old. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STUPID IDEA. I raised two kids --- I have a granddaughter now and a grandson on the way. I love them dearly but I was not a baby having a baby AND IT WAS STILL HARD AND IT STILL IS. You're going through a phase. It will pass. Let it pass.

Answer 4

In my opinion I think you should at least wait until your out of highschool. If your getting depressed over this you need to talk ot someone like a school counsler or your parents.
Babies are alot of work more thatn you can imagine.
Also you want to make sure that you and your boyfriend stay together. Consider getting married first. If your having relationship problems a baby is not going to make yall stay together.
A baby can be a strain on a relationship. Take this from someone who knows. I have a 10 month old and me and my husband have a big strain in our relationship.
ait until your finaciallly stable.
Just because his job pays 12.50 an hour that is still not enough money to raise a baby. My fiance makes 19 an hour and we still go through rough patches of money.
Just consider waiting a few years and talking to someone before you make this big jump in your life. Your life will change forever.
No more teenage years. No party's, no going out all the time because you will have to be with your baby 24/7.
Also because your having depression now it will be alot worse when your pregnant and after the baby because of your hormones. With you being depressed now you could harm the baby after he/she is born and not realize your harming the baby because of your depression. You should really seek counseling or therapy right now before you make this big step in your life.

Answer 5

I have been a teenage mom, its not fun and cutesy! I couldn't finish highschool or college. Yeah some people finish school, but do they raise their kids???? NO! they work and go to school and see their babies a few hours a day. Why do you want a baby so bad if you wont even get to see him or her grow up because you are still in school and working a full time job to pay the bills. Grow up... its not a baby that is making you depressed, something else is going on. Do not do this to a child or yourself. I dont know what I could say to change your mind because you are obviously too immature to think of anyone but yourself.

Answer 6

you know, i will say the only reason why you want a baby, is because your not being fullfilled in your life and you think a baby will fulfill it. I had way to many friends at your age who also wanted a baby. You will no longer have a life. Your friends will no longer be your friends because they are out having adventures of the lifetime they will have no time for you anymore. You will become friendless,while you are at home taking care of a baby. Your boyfriend will find someone else and cheat on you because your not fullfilling him or better yet he's tired of you. Another thing, why are you only thinking about yourself? and not about the future of the baby? Do you think its right that the baby suffers while you go to college and become successful? You won't have anytime for the child when you do go to college. You will be going to classes and the boyfriend will be at work or shacking it up with some other girl. You need think about your own future before thinking about bring life into your future that has no future. Remember this too, Anyone who says they will finish school and go to college, 99 percent of them people never acheive that goal and thats why we have so many people of welfare.

Answer 7

Why did you even post this so-called question? Basically, you're just putting up an argument for why you should have a baby at a young age.

If you really want a baby and you have all of the supports and information that you need, then why are you talking to us, a bunch of strangers?

Do you have doubts? Are you concerned about your depression?

I have 2 kids of my own. Just as you and I and everyone else here knows, it isn't easy to have children. Pregnancy at young ages are also more prone to complications. Get some counseling for your depression. Talk to your parents. Talk to your doctor. Talk to other teen parents. Get the facts.

Once you are armed with enough information and a good idea of what you are in for and you still think that it's a good idea, then what's stopping you?

Answer 8

A baby isn't going to make you less depressed; in all likelihood, it will make you more depressed, in a lot of ways, between the hormones and the things you can't do for awhile, etc.

You two are so young and there's so much to do before you settle down with children.

I think there is more to it than your really wanting children at your age; you could be feeling unneeded or something.

I think you should go to a counselor and find out what's really going on.

I wouldn't give up my children for the world, but I had my first one at age 35 - after I finished my education, travelled to all the places I wanted to go in the world for now, got the job I wanted, and married the man I wanted.

It will not make your life better at this point in time, it will just confuse it even more.

Go talk to someone.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Alright........ you do know that a baby will cost just for the first year of its life $10,000. I think you need to watch some labor videos too. Do you know what an episiotomy is?? Look it up. Its what you get when you go into labor. A baby will not make you no longer depressed. In fact, probably quite the opposite. You will probably suffer severe post partum depression, if you are already as depressed as you are. I got an idea... set you alarm to go off every three hours... when it does.. get out of bed, put clothes hangers on your nipples for fifteen minutes then go back to bed. See if you want a baby then.

Answer 10

Your 16, still in High School. Lets see your BF make $12.50 an hour, lets say he works 40 hours a week=$500 a week. You will have to buy food $100 a week, diapers $75 a week, rent, medical bills, babysitter for when you go to school and BF goes to work $250 week at a low end. Now what type of education do you have, basically none. WAIT before you have a baby--you are way to young.

Answer 11

ok well if you want to have a baby that bad then i guess nothing would be wrong with it, but your only 16, im 19 and not planning on have on having a baby until im 23. thats the only thing that i want when i turn 23. But make sure this is something that you REALLY want, and make sure that you will be able to finish school, because a baby changes everything. i also think that you and your boyfriend would make great parents. but just think things out. This just might be a phase that you are going through, but if having a baby is what your gonna do then i hope things go very well for you and your boyfriend.