Why are "bad boys" with sweet/caring/genuine personalities often left as "best friends?"?

Question

Hey people. I'm kind of puzzled. I've been checking out what some people say and it looks like "bad boys" are supposed to be chick magnets.
I won't dispute that but if that's the case, then why am I left as "best friend?" more than half the time?

I'm not what you'd call tame, believe it or leave it, and I enjoy my darker side (no evil here though). Vicariously raised a 70s Gothic, extreme sports, big fan of octane, martial arts, international gourmet cooking and running barefoot through the moonlit mountainside when I go hiking. Good times.

But I don't play games with people. I'm for real. I'm genuine. And I got a big heart I know to use. Life is just way too short to kill on lies.

I've only dated five or six people in my life, and isn't for a lack of trying.

If "bad boys" are chick magnets but really they're looking for a good man, why does that leave me, the combo, as best friend half the time?

Geez people, dating a genuine guy doesn't change his integrity.

Oh I'm a bad boy, Just Me. Getting into trouble isn't anything new, I just didn't feel like explaining that I have a record on file.

But people are important enough to me. I don't play games with my girlfriends because I only fall for so few, and they're always something special. If you don't appreciate what's good in your life, your life just ain't it.

Answer 1

It sounds like you're doing something wrong that you're not aware of. Or maybe you just look bad, but I think it's more likely that there's something awry with your behavior that you don't know about. My guess is that you are not confident enough to appeal to many women. That's why most of them fall for "bad boys" you know. The nice guy seems too weak and desperate for love to be appealing. Don't be cocky, but definitely muster up some confidence and get as many phone numbers from women as you can! That will be a good start. Good luck!

Answer 2

Hmmm I kinda think I know what your asking and I am not sure if I can answer really, but I'll tell you about my experience.

I am the girl currently seeing one of those bad boys, we've been friends for awhile he knows all of my other friends and I was warned not to let our relationship take this turn when he started asking mutual friends about me. Well needless to say I brushed off thier advice and started hanging out with him a lot and now things have gotten a little more serious than what I wanted, and while everything feels right at the moment and he treats me good and not like I have EVER seen him treat another woman. There is still the friend part of me that has seen the damage he has done in his past and the trouble he has gotten into before and it leaves me terrified. I really am stuck right in the middle of wanting to turn around and run the other way just because I know he is the bad boy and I feel its the only way to save myself from future heartbrake but then on the other hand I want to think that I'm the woman he'd straighten up for. KWIM?

I guess what I am saying is if the girl knows your the bad boy maybe its fear that makes them not want to get any more attached to you.

Answer 3

I'm in the same situation!
Here, I'm (already) 43 y.o, well employed as a business consultant, a local MENTOR with America's Promise, and as lonely as a long-lorne sock in the back of the closet.
I am a proffesing Christian who attends services weekly, and I claim to have no dead bodies in my closet...... (well, figureatively.)
I WILL BET that your question about "being a bad boy" relates to how much RISK we take on a common day.
The ladies I have dated seem to appreciate a guy who can "face the devil and not get burned by the heat."
I am betting that it is their opportunity to think outside the box (get an adrenaline rush) without having to overexert themselves.
My own life as a local TOASTMASTER gives everyone this adrenaline-pump when I / we speak in public. - GO FIGGER!
BEST WISHES!

Answer 4

Ok...i think ive finally figured out the reasoning on that. The reason we girls do that is for intrigue...i know when i guy is really open and wayy too into me, i sometimes lose interest...all the fun is in the chase you know? im not saying play hard to get, but th ebad boys have that sense of mystery...but we almost always end up getting hurt...so you date the bad boys, but marry the best friends :-) (silver lining to every cloud kinda thing, u know?)

Answer 5

Your not a "bad boy" though. Bad boy doesn't mean what your hobbies are it means you play games, dont care about the girls feelings, lie....things like that. Your the nice guy who likes octane and martial arts.

Answer 6

well i think its because the "bad-boy" type look cooler. maybe the girls you meet are strange because i know i always go for the nice guy instead of the bad boy and if there's a combination then yeah me!!! actualyy its usually me that is the nice gurl that gets dumped for a slut! so yeah.... if you dont mind could you try tellling me why all the guys do that????


well i hope that helped out any!!

Answer 7

Depends on what age group you're going for, young girls want hot guys who screwing around w/ everybody else. The girls who've already experienced the "Bad Boy " don't want that .

Answer 8

because well...i'm the girl that left a guy sayin that he was just a "best friend" ...i did it because i never felt attracted to him that way...maybe its the same for other ppl...u cant make urself get attracted to a person that u think is just a friend...atleast i cant:(

Answer 9

maybe they think they aren't good enough for you. although in todays time most girls are very outgoing and won't stop until they get what they want.
maybe if you stop trying to get dates the ladies will come to you

call me ;)

Answer 10

That is a self experiance....