I'm 21 and not married. I have never had a desire to have children one day. I always thought I would feel different in the future, but I havent. Is there something wrong with me? Do any women also feel like this?
2006-08-03 06:56:39 · 28 answers · asked by Squirrel 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Firstly, it is completely normal to not desire offsprings. There are many thousands of men and women around the world who are not inclined to the idea of nurturing children, pain, responsibility, or just don;t feel the need to have a family. There is nothing inherently maternal about a woman, it's just a patriarchal notion. There is nothing wrong with you, you are not alone, and you have the freedom to make a choice. You are not obliged to anybody to have children. Just go with how you feel, one day you may want to have children or maybe you never will. You can live a fulfilling life just the same both ways. :-)
2006-08-03 07:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You must be kidding: you are way too young to have a desire to have kids - give your biological clock 8-10 years to start ticking. When I was 25 I thought I would never get married and definitely didn't want kids. First I got married, then when I was 29 I got pregnant - not because I was dying to have a kid but because I was in a great place in my life to have kids. I loved him to death the second he was born (I have 3 now).
For different people it happens at different times for different reasons, and sometimes it doesn't happen at all - it doesn't make you a bad/weird person, just a person who doesn't want kids.
2006-08-03 08:55:48 · answer #2 · answered by almairka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women adore children others do not.
Its due to a mixture of upbringing, personality and genes. The amount of female hormones can make a difference as well.
There is nothing wrong with you. Besides, you are still only twenty one. Perhaps when you meet Mr (or Miss) Right you will feel different.
2006-08-03 07:01:48 · answer #3 · answered by ty_rosewood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I came from a big family. My Mom was 16 when she married and 17 when she started having kids. She had 8 in all. I vowed never to do the same thing she did.I was going to graduate hs,go to college and have my first child at 30.When I turned 25 I started to get 'that feeling' of wanting to have a baby. But I didn't meet Mr.Right till I was 28.I had my first at 30 yrs. Then my second at 32yrs. I wanted them so bad and I loved being the best Mom I could be! I've been maried 25 yrs now.
2006-08-03 08:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by La Cicada 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry, you're normal. There's nothing wrong with not wanting children. I used to not want children, and was SO sure that my opinions wouldn't change, and look at me now, i have a son!
But there's nothing wrong with not wanting children. I always thought children were annoying, especially babies and toddlers. I still do think children are annoying. All children, except for my son, annoy me.
I chose to have children because I just don't see a point to life not having them. Sure you have fun for a while, but then you get bored and feel the need to be responsible for someone. Some people get pets, but not even pets fill the hole in you. That hole is reserved for your children.
I just think that life in pointless when you don't have kids. You're going to be so sad when you're old. What if you won't be able to take care of yourself when you're old? You're going to be in a nursing home where no one truly cares about you.
Having your children, and grandchildren visit should be the happiest time for you. So what are you going to do when you're old?
I don't want to die old, unhappy, and alone. I want to know that there will still be people who will care about me when I die.
But that's just me.
There's nothing wrong with you. You don't have to have children, Just think about the future, THEN your mind might change.
Good luck!
2006-08-03 11:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by Stella 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was 29, almost thirty when my only child (now 6) was born. I really wish I'd waited a few more years. Having a baby really ties you down. The upside is that there is this little bitty person that loves you unconditionally and gives you the sweetest hugs and kisses! Being a Mom hasn't been easy, but I've become a different person, for the better, since she came along.
2006-08-03 08:07:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want children either and I'm happily married. Luckily my hubby feels the same way. I love kids- in fact I teach kids karate and I really enjoy working with them but I just don't want any of my own. Nothing is wrong with you- being a Mom is not for everyone.
2006-08-03 07:02:17 · answer #7 · answered by ninja_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel like that too, so I don't feel like there's anything wrong with you. At least you can admit that you have no desire to have children and move forward. Maybe one day you'll change your mind, but even if you don't, it's okay too. Maybe children aren't priority in your life right now. But fortunately for you (& your potential children), you are honest enough to admit it. Live your life to the fullest. God Bless...
2006-08-03 07:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by Isabel's Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
21 thats normal girl... You are in your party, meet lots of boys, make something of your life phase... baby making should be for late 20s and 30s.
After you have lived your life and done everything as that experience helps you bring up a kid...
You are human and normal and don't worry... you have plenty of time for that... now go travel the world, have lots of romance, get a nice career, have adventures and stop being so silly.
You are still young... Why have kids so early and ruin your life turing into a miserable prisoner in your home with a baby poop factory screaming ball and chain?
2006-08-03 08:05:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still very young, for many women the biological urge doesnt kick in until their mid thirties, but some women never want kids. Thats fine. Think how much good you are doing for the planet by not adding to our population crisis. Good for you. Kids are right for some people but not others, and there are plus sides to not reproducing.
2006-08-03 07:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by welsh_witch_sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋