I'm horrible at remembering jokes..I want to hear some new ones (that maybe I'll remember)...so give me whatever joke you have!!
2006-08-03 06:55:46 · 10 answers · asked by vdubbchick 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Pd
9 hours ago
7 day(s) left to answer.
Religious talk - Funny N naughty joke.?
A guy with a huge manhood has a lot of trouble trying to get a girl. When they see the size they make excuses and leave. So he thinks of a cunning plan, meets a hooker and asks her, "Do you mind if we do it my way?"
"What way is that?" she asks.
"Oh, I would just like you to wear a blindfold" he replies.
"Is that all? No problem let's go to my place," she said
They walk to her apartment. Whilst taking off their clothes he puts the blindfold on her.
"Why do you want me to wear a blindfold?" she asks.
"Because of my religion" he said.
"What religion is that?"
"I'm an agnostic," he says, getting on top of her.
"Hmmm an agnostic I've heard of those you're one of those people who doesn't believe in.....J-E-S-U-S-C-H-R-I-S-T"
2006-08-03 07:00:40 · answer #1 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A Horse, a Chicken & the Harley
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!) ... scroll down ...
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks"
2006-08-04 10:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Imajica 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
13 Reasons to Smile
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and over fifty for Miss America?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
2006-08-03 14:06:30 · answer #3 · answered by nichellecomicbookgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man and his wife entered a dentist's office.
The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."
The wife turns to her husband and says: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
2006-08-03 14:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sally Pepsi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What will u do to keep a fool busy? Just send him in a circular room & tell him to sit in the corner of the room.[Mail me if u like it.]
2006-08-03 14:02:20 · answer #5 · answered by snehal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I love this one...
What do men and carpeting have in common?
Lay em' right the 1st time and you can walk on em' for life!!
2006-08-03 14:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by smarteepants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im bored and i was just waching my cousins and they told me this one...what do you call a fast duck? A QUICK QUACKER...ha ha ha ha,by the way my cousins are 2 and 4 so yeah.
2006-08-03 14:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by Miranda S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he felt crumby!
2006-08-03 13:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by april_cali_gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ram{asks his friend}do you bath every day/
sam[answers} no i bath every night
2006-08-03 14:06:45 · answer #9 · answered by Riya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Indians are in the parlor, so who's in the parlor?
The EUROPEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-03 14:45:57 · answer #10 · answered by katybop. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋