Im divorced and I fell in love with a man at work who i had an affair with. But he didnt want me, we were friends for a time and now he doesnt even want to be my friend. Im more gutted that he doesnt want to be around me, when he has loads of girls who are friends. any advise?
2006-08-03 06:55:03 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i hope he's not married.
but if that isn't the case, he doesn't want you because you are being clingy... he just wants to have fun. have some dignity and leave him the heck alone.
find someone else "to love" he he
2006-08-03 07:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by Nia24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you sleep with him to try to make him like you? If you did, you probably lost his respect. He might see you as needy or desparate, which is unattractive.
Don't let this affect your own self-worth. Move on and enjoy your freedom. There are so many guys out there to learn things from (both good and bad) so you better get moving!
You can't make anyone like you, you can only make them not like you. Don't put out so soon if you want to see them again. Build a friendship first; one that may withstand even after a one-time sexual encounter.
Sex and love are two different things. You don't have to be in love with who you take to bed. It's ok. Granted, sex is better when you have a bond (trust, respect, acceptance) but still fun without one.
You are not a "s*l*u*t" if you play the field, so never feel guilty. You are "experienting". Think about it: when you do end up with someone, I am sure that he would feel more confident that you are experienced, and are not with him by default.
He will feel more special if you have been around, seen what's out there, and picked HIM above all the rest!
Play the field and enjoy what's out there. Don't put all your eggs in one basket yet.
There could be 1,000 "right ones" out there, so don't limit yourself. A "right one" will make you feel good about yourself, and confident about your redeeming qualities. The "keeper" guy will make you forget all the others, and you will never wonder how he feels about you, because you will know. He won't have to tell you because it shows.
2006-08-03 07:16:34 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he never promised you anything from the affair then he can't be called a creep.. Affairs are all about the passion raised by you both sneaking about often brought on by you not getting what you want at home I don't know of many that have developed into relationships. They are plenty more fish in the sea hun just get yourself out there..
As for the answers on here slagging the guy off, it takes 2 to tango and I doubt she would of gone into this with her eyes closed.
2006-08-03 07:08:02 · answer #3 · answered by Jools 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this guy is just adding another notch to his bed post. He does not want any commitment, just satisfying his manly urges. Affairs in the work place rarely end up happy. That is why many companies do not allow it. Move on and consider this a lesson in the single life.
2006-08-03 07:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by tman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he just wanted a little roll in the hay with no strings attached. He has loads of girlfriends for a reason, he's probably trying to sleep with them too, but, just hasn't yet. As soon as he gets in their pants (if he does), I'm sure he'll treat them the same way as he treated you. Sounds like he's looking for brownie points or something and he's not worth your time. Hold your head up lady, and think twice before you jump in the sack with the next guy. Guys like to respect their women I think, (unless they are a loser) and would like things to go a little more slowly. That way, they know that you just aren't some easy woman willing to jump in with any man!
2006-08-03 07:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude, but men like women who have respect for themselves. You had an affair with him and that's probably all he thought of you--nothing more than a one-night stand. Just stay positive and you'll find that Mr. Right.
2006-08-03 07:01:35 · answer #6 · answered by Tarnisha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want u because u want him. He doesn't want u because you're not really his type. He doesn't want u because it rained last week. Who cares why? You should only care that he doesn't, realize there's nothing at all you can do to make someone want u, and not spend a lot of time on it. Pick your battles and don't sweat the small stuff. Next time, be more selective in who you decide to give out your "goodies."
2006-08-03 07:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by SAN P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's one golden rule: do not have sex with the guy you want to have a relationship with, before he actually is your boyfriend (for a few months).
Now that it's done the best you can do is not to pay him any special atention. Enjoy the company of other people. The more you chase him, the less he'll want to be with you. Make yourself attractive, but not specifically for him.
Good luck!
2006-08-03 07:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by Cornflake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that you fell in love with him and he isn't looking for love. He is just looking for sex and to have fun. Once you fell for him and got divorced then you were no longer fun for him and didn't fit what he wanted.
2006-08-03 06:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have thought about this given my own life.
What ever the problem is, it is his. I could say that sometimes it is easier to just cut lose.
Then it is difficult to lose a friend for both of you.
So, give it time and who knows?
My main point. Just be proud, very proud you gave it a go! Bounce back as you will, proud of yourself!!!
2006-08-03 07:16:56 · answer #10 · answered by Ade Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this man is afraid of commitment, and now that you are divorced he sees you as a threat to his freedom. Did he stop wanting have anything to you after you got divorced?
2006-08-03 07:09:35 · answer #11 · answered by Heather T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋