Quick, whats the first funny joke that comes to your mind???

Answer 1

Three preists go fishing one day. They're out in the middle of the lake when the first preist says" Oh shoot, I forgot our drinks!" So he walks across the lake, gets the drinks, walks back, and reenters the canoe.

Second preist says "Oh darn, I forgot our desserts. Gotta get them." So the second preist does the same as the first.

The third preist, seeing the other two do this, DOES NOT want to be outdone so he says "Darn! Forgot my fishing pole!" He gets out of the boat and promptly sinks below the water.

First preist says: "You think we should have told him about the stones?"

Answer 2

A guy and girl just married, on their honeymoon when she has a confession to make.

girl. I've been with another guy.

boy- Well, that's okay, I figured you had as beautiful as you are.

Girl - Well, it was Tiger Woods

Boy - I can understan that...he's rich and good looking....

So, they proceeded to do their thing...once finished the guy says I'm hungry and he goes toward the phone. The girl says why are you going to do that? That's not what Tiger would do. Well, what would Tiger do? He would come back over here and do it all over again. Not wanting to be outdone by Tiger, he goes back and does it again....once more he starts to the phone saying I'm hungry....again she says, that's not what Tiger would do...The same thing happend a couple of more times....then he gets up to go to the phone and she angrily says Are you still wanting to call room service? He says, no, I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what the par for this hole is.

Answer 3

After several months the man comes back to the bar,seeing the bowl full of money again asked the bartender what it was for this time..The bartender said his horse has been laughing for several months and he wants the horse to stop and anyone who can stop the horse from laughing wins the money...So tthe guy goes into the back room again,after a few minutes the horse stops laughing and everything is dead quiet...... The bartender ask the guy what he did to make the horse laugh so hard and then dead quiet???

The guy said the first time he came in he told the horse his dick was as big as the horses!!! the horse busted up laughing... Now this time the guy said he got the horse to stop laughing the guy proceded to show horse.....did ya like that one??

Answer 4

A prospective student was being interviewed for admission to a
Prestigious Management Institute. Interviewer said "I shall either ask
you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well
Before you make up your mind!"

The boy thought for a while and

said, "My choice is one really difficult
question."

Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice. Now tell me
This, "What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depended on the
Correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's
the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked.

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult
question!"

He was selected!!!!

Moral of the Story: "Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while
Creativity is the mastery of simplicity!!!

Answer 5

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."

Answer 6

What's the difference between the Panama Canal and Anna Nicole Smith?

The Panama Canal is a busy ditch. Anna Nicole is a dizzy b*tch.

Answer 7

Holy Prostitutes


A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought....Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and
drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On
the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign
next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?" He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business".

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door".

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup
answers the door, this nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway".

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips
through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing
another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.

Answer 8

a man walk into a bar and sees a pot of money behind the bar he ask the bartender how he can win the money the bartender replies you have to make the horse laugh. so the guy walks over and whispers something in his ear and the horse laughs. two weeks later the comes in again and there's another pot of money behind the bar the guy ask the bartender how do i get that pot of money the bartender say you have to make the horse cry so the guy walks over and shows the horse something and it crys. when he went to get the money the bartender ask how did you do it last time you made it laugh and now you made it cry. the guy replied last time i told him my di#k was bigger than his this time i showed him

Answer 9

three blondes walk into a bar and call for a round of shots. the bertender lines them up and the first blonde raises her glass and says "to 56 days!" they down 'em , and order more. the bertender lines 'em up and the second blonde calls out "to 56 days!" they drink them up and order more. the bertender is curious, and asks, "what's with the 56 days?"
"Oh," replies the last blonde," we did a puzzle, and the box said '2-4 years, but we finished it in 56 days!"

Answer 10

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender asks "What is this? Some kind of joke?"