Riddles are good too!
2006-08-03 06:17:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
sorry my jokes will take too long to type
2006-08-03 06:21:26 · answer #1 · answered by GrlonWheels 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
13 Reasons to Smile
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and over fifty for Miss America?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
2006-08-03 07:08:42 · answer #2 · answered by nichellecomicbookgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lecturer was talking to his class of 1st year medical students in dissection hall
"There are 2 things you need to be a good doctor.istly, you must be disgusted by anything that has got to do with the cadavers (dead bodies)"
He then stuck his finger into the cadaver's anus and suck his finger right after that. Pointed to a student and told him to do the same thing.
Apalled student was horrified but follow suit anyway.
Once done, the lecturer continued to the 2nd thing to be a good doc- PERCEPTION.
"i stuck my index finger in but i sucked my middle finger!"
my fav medical joke!
2006-08-03 09:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by SxyDeViL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might be a redneck if......
you ever opened a beer at a funeral home
you keep a pellet gun by the door
you slam the truck door and your gun goes off and creates an instant sunroof
you think nsync is where your dirty dishes are
your dad's cell # has nothing to do with a telephone
i can't think of anymore! i have a big book of redneck jokes from jeff foxworthy!!!!
2006-08-03 06:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a goat a bear and a mouse goes hame and eats cheese this chesses was cut by every one but the mouse cut hte bigest cheese
2006-08-03 06:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by victim_of_my_words 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did the signal turn red?
You'd turn red too if you changed in the middle of the street!
2006-08-07 06:15:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this category is all about jokes read some of them
2006-08-03 06:24:31 · answer #7 · answered by Sherry Baby ( Ethan's Mama ) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!!
2006-08-03 06:24:11 · answer #8 · answered by Skypilot49 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋