A fight with my dad?

Question

Last Saturday I wanted to go to a party but my dad though that part wasn't convinient for a 15 yo girl, There'd be adults and alcohool. I tried to convince him, after all I'm wise, don't get in trouble and wouldn't drink. He said he agreed completely but it could be dangerous and didn't let me go. He suggested several other healthy ways for me to have fun, but I was mad at him for not trusting me and ended stayig home sulking. Sunday was his bday and I'd bought him a shirt with all my love and money. I decided not to give him his gift and not to go to a restaurant with my family to celebrate his bday. But he looked into my eyes with love and asked if I really had reasons to be so resentful. I ended up hugging him, gave him his gift, he loves (at least he said so) and went to the rastaurant. We had fun together. And I admitted that party wasn't really convinient for a girl my age. Well, I always lose, when I fight with my parents I end up hugging them. Is there anythig wrong w/ me?

Answer 1

No, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. It seems like you trust your parents judgement and that is a good thing. Sure, you may have enjoyed the party, but in your heart you have respect for your dad and realized that it would not be the best option. It is good to have a relationship with your dad, some people are not as lucky. I think you are smart for admitting you were wrong and celebrating his birthday with him!

Answer 2

Nope, it's completely normal for teens to think they know everything there is to know about the world. It's the parents job to make sure that you don't do anything stupid.

That party you said for example. While you say you're smart, and wouldn't do anything stupid, you also never know once you're there. Since there are adults at the party, as well as alcohol, you'll probably give in to peer pressure, then before you know it, you're drunk, and probably got laid in bed by some random guy who could care less about you and just wants to have sex. Or worse, a bunch of drunk guys overpower you and have their way with you, and the other people at the party either can't or won't do anything to help you, probably cause they're too drunk as well.

Parents are supposed to look after and worry about their kids, so don't fret it too much. While they should start letting you have more freedom as you get older, at the same time, you shouldn't also be doing stuff that would endanger yourself at the same time.

Also, you should earn your parent's trust, so that if you say you're gonna do something, they'll believe you. If you have a history with them of not being trustworthy (for example, you say you're going to the store, but you're actually going to a party instead, and get found out later), then of course they're not going to let you do anything like go to a party like that (at least not while you're only 15).

Again, a lot of teenagers think they're on top of the world, and that they know everything there is to know about being safe or whatever. But the truth is you're often quite ignorant of stuff going on around the world, and until you've gained more experience with age, a lot of the stuff you do at that age might hurt you later on (such as doing drugs cause all your friends are doing it. Again, peer pressure here will probably get you to do something stupid, and even if you refuse, if they're insistent, they'll probably force it down you or something. You can never tell exactly what people may do to you when they're not in control of their own bodies due to drugs and alcohol).

And if you get hurt or killed, how do you think your family will feel? You might be smart and not do that stuff, but someone else might do that stuff, and you can't really control them if they start getting crazy or whatever.

Sorry for the lecture and preaching, but this is essentially what parents have in mind too. It won't seem like the best idea, but really, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Answer 3

Being a former teenager myself and a recent dad I can say this as being a Dad we are trying to look out for your best interest. Why would you want to be at a party with adults anyway and vice versa why would they want a 15 year girl at the party. When you say adults do you mean 20 somethings, or 30+ that makes a big difference too. Also if you react to not getting your own way by not giving your dad a birthday gift and not going to dinner with your family then you should be the one hugging them and apologizing. I dont know who any of your any arguments with your parents go but if they are like this then you are doing the right thing by hugging them but it shouldnt take your dad asking you for a reason to be resentful you should just relize it on your own. Remember this you are 15 you still need guidence in your life and trust your parents I am sure they are not doing things just to be mean and nasty parents.

Answer 4

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your relationship with your dad, sounds like mine. My dad is a hard head and it is not until now, when I'm all grown up, that I understand why my dad was so hard on me. We used to fight and I'd get to mad at him for not letting me go somewhere or do something, butnow I'm thankful that I had a dad who cared. You won't really realize it until you get older and you think about having your own kids, and how far you would go to protect them. I have a younger sister who still lives at home and she is your age. She is going through the same thing right now. It sucks a lot at the time because you really wanna go do whatever it is that you want to do, but when you put that one even in history into perspective, it's not as important as say, your dad's birthday. Good for you for giving him his present, that was one step in the right direction townards maturity, and your dad trusting and letting you go a little more. If you put so much love into getting it for him, and celebrating with him, you must know deep down, that he is a good dad that loves you very much.

Everything will get easier as you get older, I promise.

Answer 5

it's not about winning and losing..it's about being able to make good decisions, accepting that although your parents are stricter than you'd like, you are living under their roof. i love your story, i'm so glad you were able to understand your father, and that he was able to ask you if you really had reasons to be so resentful..that is an awesome way for you to communicate to eachother what is going on. the problem wasn't the party...it was you living under your parents' roof, them taking care of you, loving you, and wanting you to make good decisions, and regardless of not getting your way, being mature enough to forgive and show your love to them, no matter how angry you are. that is awesome, and always treasure and keep up that relationship w/ them... there are always going to be times when you are fighting w/ them, but to really know that love overcomes all things, is really lucky for you. don't let resentment get in the way of your relationships; u could have gone to the party and had fun and been safe, but the point is that your parents were had reason to worry and that is why they didn't want u to go. when u are older and live on your own, they can only hope and trust you will be able to make good decisions. you sound like ur growing up into an awesome woman! :)

Answer 6

No, there is nothing wrong with you, but you need to realize that your parents, as older people, have a lot more experience and wisdom than you and they usually have really good reasons for doing what they do. Even though, you may not like what they say sometimes, you need to realize that they do it only because they love you and want the best for you. Even if you don't just take my word for it now, you will someday understand this, I promise you.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with loving your parents. You sound very mature and it sounds like your father knows that. Anytime you go to a party underage where there is alcohol being served you are asking for disaster. You could be arrested or raped and that can't be undone. Kids today need to realize that you only have one childhood and once it is gone it is gone forever. Keep loving your parents and staying on the right path.

Answer 8

Actually, your showing maturity beyond your age!

You sound like you have a very loving father who knows a lot better of what goes on at those parties, (yes, with alcohol, it doesnt matter if "your" responsible, as "others" may not be and force themselves on you, with out your permission and with enough alcohol flowing, things happen and people will not help you one bit),so, you are smart enough to learn from your parents.

I applaud you for being "grown up" about the situation, and learning from each experience...

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 9

Wrong with you? Heavens no honey. In fact, you have the relationship with your parents that most kids wished they had. It's obvious your parents love you tremendously and you love them. Hold on to that as long as you can. I know it's hard to understand when they don't allow you to do something, but they are only looking out for you. It's not you, they distrust....it's everyone else. The world is full of nuts. Carry on as you are, you are every parent's dream child!

Answer 10

I think your great and I think you have a very special and unique relationship with your Dad.
He really means the best for you - it's hard to be a Dad, especially to a daughter because we want to protect our daughters the best way we know how and still not have them turn away from us.
Here's to you and your Dad - I hope you will always have this special way of being friends !!