help, what can i do. i just moved in with my man 2 wks ago. we have been together for 4 years. he is pakistani and iam italian. my problem is that he wants me to service his every need, he wants breakfeast at 5am, wants his clothes ready for work,when he comes out of the shower, then when he comes home he wants dinner, clothes after his shower, wants a beer and other things. i have 3 kids and work a full time job..what do u think, i should do about this, i feel it is abuse.
2006-08-03 05:15:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
not that i am condoning his behaviour, but it is possible that he treats you this way because of his culture. in pakistan (and many middle eastern countries) women are property of their man and are basically servants. Tell him that while you respect his beliefs, you do not share them and that you feel you deserve to be treated better than "just a servant" if he cares about you, he will try and stop this behaviour, if not, you need to get out of this relationship before he wants to marry you and take you to his counrty. rent the movie "not without my daughter" it will shed some light on the reality of the situation.
good luck, i wish you the best
2006-08-03 05:22:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 17⤊ 2⤋
he can want what he wants all he can. the question is, are you going to do it?
as for all those demands.....LMFAO!!! not a 5am fool! i'll get up at 7am is the earliest. I work full time, i have 2 kids and i am expecting a 3rd. I may do laundry, but he does his own work uniform. i love cooking for him, but he does call before he heads home to make sure i'm not too tired to cook and if he can bring home some food instead. but getting ready is his responsibility. My man knows where the fridge is, he is able to walk there, he can get his own beer. However when i am up i do ask if he wants another one. When my man wants something, he asks for it. It's not expected of me. Same rule applies if i wasn't working full time.
You need to leave TWO WEEKS AGO! Not even the maid does all of that on her own!
2006-08-03 09:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh no he didnt?!?!?!?!
girl you need to talk to him. tell him you two are not married and a relationship shouldnt be like that.
he can go and spend $5 everymorning on breakfest or make his own. he can get his cloths ready befor he takes a shower. and if he really cant make dinner then he should help you with it.
what does he do around the house? help with the kids? take care of the house? im sure he doenst do any cleaning.
next time he wants breakfest you should always make the same thing all the time. eggs with sausage. same thing all the time. when he wants his cloths afte his shower you should miss match them. hahhahaha.
he should help you out big time. im sure every wife goes through this. men sit on their butt and do nothin but ask for this and that.
2006-08-03 05:24:26 · answer #3 · answered by All4Christ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a cultural thing. This is how Pakistani men traditionally behave. They are brought up to expect women to be subservient to them and Pakistani women accept and comply with this behavior. It is tradition.
You need to talk to him about this. You have to get him to understand that you cannot behave like Pakistani women do. If he cannot accept and refuse to change, then you may have to decide if you want the relationship to continue.
Lastly from what I know about Pakistani culture, honour is a serious thing with them. If the wife does something that is disapproved (adultery, being too close to other men etc) can be deemed as a breach of honour to the husband. This can result in violent behavior. Just thought I ought to tell you about this.
2006-08-03 05:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by 3 legged cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is somewhat like traditions in some middle east asia countries. Women does household works and men does outside works. The problems you mentioned are considered to be duties of women in these countries. So, it is one of point for not getting married with someone from different culture. You have to go on and your husband should understand it.
2006-08-03 05:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Robi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him you can't do that for him. Maybe that's how his culture is, but he should know that people in Europe don't think of their woman as a servant. I'm not being a racist, I'm Iranian, some men there are the same. You should tell him. If he can't accept that, you should move.
2006-08-03 05:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to find another man who appreciates your company. You deserve better than that you need a guy who will break his back just to serve you......Leave him now and do it while hes at work or in the shower lol Goodluck!
2006-08-03 05:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its what you make it mean. If you choose to do that stuff..that is your choice.. if you dont want to do it..and he MAKES you...then it could be abuse..but obviously...he has opened your eyes to how he is..and if you want to live w/ that..it is your choice..but dont make him wrong for it... that is how he is... if you dont like it..you should move out... people are who they are because of how they were raised..some people can change if they want to..but sounds like he wants things a certain way..you can cater to him..or leave..its up to you.
2006-08-03 05:21:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just proving that he is a pakistani... if you really are going to take advices seriously... think of your future... happy future... and what you see if it is a happy future for you... carry on... or move on
2006-08-03 05:19:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tell him that he needs to do his own stuff. he is not a child he needs to do it himself. and yes it is kinda abuse. I think u shoud tell him or go to a counsuler
2006-08-03 05:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋