Best Little Johhn Joke?

Question

Let me hear the best Little Johnny for 10 points! Make me laugh!

Little Johhny joke

Answer 1

Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to mom and dads for the night. Morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out to the school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She said, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think? "
Mom replied, "Never mind what you think! go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Is Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think...eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school he comes home and asks, "Is Fred and Mary up yet?"
Mom replied, "No."
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "OK...What do you think?"

He says..."Well, last night Fred came in for the Vaseline and...I think I gave him my model airplane glue."

Answer 2

I have got a lot of jokes for you:

Little Johnny went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather. While eating the eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film- like substance on his plate. "Grandfather," he asked, "are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, Little Johnny noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean"?

Without looking up from his burger, his grandfather says, " I told you those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore."

Later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As Little Johnny was leaving the house, his grandfather's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass.

"Grandfather, your dog won't let me out." said Little Johnny.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, "Coldwater, get your butt out of the way!"

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.
"Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300," he asked.
"Easy, Dad," little Johnny replied. "I earned it hiking."
"Come on Johnny," the father said. "Tell me the truth."
"That is the truth!" Johnny replied.
"Every night you were gone, Mom's boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"

Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.

His father sees it and says,
"Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"

"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!"

"Johnny," the father said.
"You don't do those kind of things to women."

Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.

Johnny's father said,
"Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"

"But Dad," Johnny said.
"It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"