How to handel a 4 year old with an aditude.?

Question

My going to be four year old son. Has this big aditude lately. Screaming at me all the time and not listening, hitting his sister. He does not have any other problems like ADHD or anything like that. Its the kids at his babysitters he gets this from I am thinking he dont get it from me. I dont bellive in spanking a child unless they really deserve it. I had put him in time outs, sent him to his room, took his toys away and all he did with me taking his toys away was "here you go mommy give them to the little boy". He has a great personality and a sense of humor but just latlely he has been doing this. Nothing has changed been spending time with both my kids like always. Please help

Answer 1

It's more likely the kids at the babysitters that have started this.

When he hits his Sister or anyone, you say in a firm voice "We do not hit" "That hurts their feelings". Make sure you are at his level when you say this.

When he starts to scream just say "Please talk to me instead of screaming" "I am here to listen". If he does not respond then begin to ask him a series of questions that you think might be causing the screaming.

Answer 2

Children have "attitudes" because of their parents or the adults who are their caretakers. If you have watched The Nanny, you should have grasped this. You need professional counseling not advice from others who themselves know no more than you do. This isn't meant as negative or any type of criticism. I'm just telling you to go to someone who can help or get some books from the library on "disciplining" children. Another thing you might do is call a University near you and see whether their is a department of/for child psychology. You may get some free help there.

Remember, that everything is worth only what you pay for it, and you should be careful how you spend your money.

Answer 3

He's doing it for the attention. Even if the attention you give is negative, it's still attention to him. Ignore the bad behavior, praise the good behavior. DONT SPANK. I dont care what everyone else has said...spanking only teaches a child that it's okay to hit. I know this, because I have spanked my daughter before, and she hits at daycare. So I try my very hardest never to use spanking as punishment. Take away your son's privileges. Take away his toys, his movies, his playtime. Give them back when he does something good. Start a reward system. Give him a quarter for every good thing he does, take one away for every bad thing he does. Tell him when he has, say $5, he can go to the store and buy something, whatever he wants. His behavior is all for YOUR attention, you've got to realize that.

Answer 4

My 4 yr old has a bad attitude too. So I feel for you. My son has also seen my attitude, and I'll tell him you wanna start with your attitude momma will show you hers. He calls my attitude the monster b/c if he does get a funky attitude with me I'll put a little swagger into what I'm saying back to him and he doesn't like it. Most of the time that will work for him, but if it's consistant time-out until he can find a correct tone for whatever the situation was. And he can sit there until he decides he wants to do it the right way.

Answer 5

Maybe it would help if you took a more positive approach. Instead of waiting until he was yelling or hitting his sister, take him to the park to let him get his energy out. Or let him help you around the house. Letting kids help or be in charge of something gives them a feeling of control in their lives. I'm not suggesting you let him decide to have candy for dinner or anything like that. But let him help you cook (stirring, measuring) or mop or sweep or vacuum (our son LOVES to sweep) or let him help take care of his sister (handing you diapers or wipes when she needs to be changed, if she's younger). This should be in the context of "You're such a big boy, can you help me with this?" It's not a punishment, but an acknowledgment of the fact that he's a competent little person. Praise his efforts (even if you have to go back and do a more thorough job later).

Give him choices (both of which are acceptable to you) in his clothing or his breakfast cereal or his juice or whatever. Kids sometimes act out when they feel like they don't have any control in their lives. Obviously, you're the parent, but that doesn't mean you have to control every aspect of daily life, especially with a highly intelligent kid.

When he is screaming, you might try ignoring it or saying, "Hmm, is someone talking to me? I can't understand screaming." That gives the message that he has to talk normally, but you're not engaging his screaming.

If he hits his sister, you should talk to him seriously about it, but don't yell, since that usually just escalates the conflict. Tell him that it hurts to hit people. Then say something like, "Can you think of something you can do to make it up to her?" This lets him mend the relationship without being humiliated, and it has direct bearing on what happened.

Try to help him think of fun things he could do with his sister--art projects, blocks, Legos, whatever. Or maybe plan a date with just you and him or just him and his dad (if he's in the picture). Spending positive time with a kid can often head off tantrums and the like.

You might also discuss your concerns with the babysitter. Do they put up with a disrespectful attitude/hitting/yelling? Try to work out a joint gameplan to deal with the bad behavior. You can't be absolutely consistent between home and babysitter's, but you can have similar rules and consequences. If your sitter won't work with you, can you switch sitters?

Answer 6

I have seen many parents out in public with screaming kids and even in our extended family. The kid carries on and on, could care less about a time out and pushes the boundaries.

I was spanked but maybe two or three times. I never forgot it. I learned to mind my mom when she said to settle down. :) And I had a great relationship with my mom :) No hard feelings and I'm a productive citizen today. :)

Answer 7

You aren't spanking him. That's your problem. No offense. He knows he can walk all over you and you will let him. Time outs do not show him who is boss. It shows him that he can be as bad as he wants and all he has to do is stand in the corner for a while. Get real. Your child needs a wake up call before he is old enough to cause real problems.

Answer 8

Find something he really loves and give him a warning, then take
it away (temporarily/grounding) until he agrees to change, and
follows through on his agreement by good behavior/attitude. Not
spanking him from toddlerhood on was what lead to the current
problem, BTW. There has to be (painful) consequences for children to learn to do right and practice respect.

Answer 9

first and for most u need set some sort of punishment routine make sure he follow it when ever he does wrong or misbehave and stick to it and do not encourage him hating on his sister because after he gets used to it he will also try to do it to u too, and secondly he's 2 year u don't want to be afraid of him at this age imagine when he's teenager it will only gets worst so stop it now before its too late u sound like a good a parent that's concern but take control and be safe

thanks
Daniel

Answer 10

you should discipline him. Kids now a days see time outs as a slap on the wrist. Sometimes you need to be more strict with you not accepting outrageous behavior. And you have to use "the rod". Stops kids from being unruley and shows them who is the boss,which isn't them.