How many...........?

Question

Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3....One to screw in the bulb and 2 to knock on your door and ask if you seen the light.

Answer 1

Lol...........I was hiding behind the couch from them just this morning!

Answer 2

I love that joke. I think I heard it once before when I was out Witnessing. I love good natured jokes. It is always a highlight for my day to hear a Witness joke. I recently had the privledge of hearing a joke about us on a British TV show. I died laughing. It shows that we are not as some have suggested a Brooklyn religion. We are a WORLDWIDE religion. Thanks for making me laugh.

PS This probably should have been filed under Jokes

PSS To the person who said we hate science. I think you were refering to the Almish. If we hated science I would not be typing this right now.

PPSS Another great joke.
One day a man walked down the street and saw a box full of puppies. A sign next to the box said atheist puppies. The man saw the sign and died laughing. A few weeks later the man walked past the same box and read the sign had been changed to Jehovah's Witness puppies. The man asked the seller why he changed the name. The seller simply replied there eyes are open now.

Answer 3

Very clever!

Have you ever wondered what message the Witnesses hope to share with their neighbors?

Jehovah's Witnesses understand the Scriptures to teach that God's Kingdom will soon replace all earthly governments.
(Daniel 2:44) God of heaven will set up a kingdom... It will crush and put an end to all these kingdoms, and it itself will stand to times indefinite

That Kingdom will rule over the vast majority of mankind, most of whom will have been raised from the dead after Armageddon.
(John 11:23,24) Jesus said to her: “Your brother will rise.” Martha said to him: “I know he will rise in the resurrection on the last day.”
(Acts 24:15) There is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.

Until that resurrection, there is no suffering in "hell", or the grave. Sometime after the resurrection, death and "hell" will themselves be destroyed.
(Ecclesiastes 9:5) For the living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all
(Ecclesiastes 9:10) there is no work nor devising nor knowledge nor wisdom in Sheol ["hell"]
(Revelation 20:14) And death and Hades ["hell"] were hurled into the lake of fire

While a limitted number of humans will be resurrected to heaven to share in ruling over mankind, the vast majority (literally more than 99.9%) of Jehovah's Witnesses expect an EARTHLY hope, the same hope given to Adam and Eve.
(Genesis 1:28) God blessed them and God said to them: “Be fruitful and become many and fill THE EARTH and subdue it [caps added]
(Genesis 2:17) You must not eat from it, for in the day you eat from it you will positively die [so never eating from that tree means never dying]

Interestingly, the Scriptures are full of references to this earthly hope.
(Psalms 37:11) 'the meek will possess the earth'
(Proverbs 2:21) 'upright will reside in the earth'
(Isaiah 45:18) 'God formed the earth to be inhabited'
(Matthew 5:5) 'the mild will inherit the earth'
(Revelation 21:3) The tent of God is with mankind

Jehovah's Witnesses' official website:
http://watchtower.org
http://watchtower.org/library/jt/index.htm

Answer 4

More like:

"The lightbulb was created by science. They are therefore evil like evolution and we don't use them. "

;)

Answer 5

Ha ha.

Answer 6

...with a pamphlet with pretty pictures.

C'mon that's worth 10pts right there.

Answer 7

That's pretty funny.

Answer 8

I laugh, I laugh a lot.

Answer 9

COOL!!! you make me laughed before i sleep!!

Answer 10

Yeah, they would do anything to get in :)