Supose you are the father. Your birthday is tomorrow. Your son gives you today a touching bday gift and the weekly school report which is very bad ( 2 tests failed and behaivour complains) Normaly you would punish him severly for it. Will the touching gift make you not do that ?
2006-08-03 04:27:59 · 40 answers · asked by L R 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He is retaking in summer school 3 subjects he failed . The bad report is due to not trying hard enough and just messing around.
2006-08-03 04:44:25 · update #1
That is an interesting idea. How's that working for ya? *o*
2006-08-11 02:26:16 · answer #1 · answered by STEPHEEDEE 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like - he will already be paying the price for fooling around- by having to take courses in the summer..Accept the gift as it is- a birthday gift no more or less-He probably has been saving up for a while for this gift-- I don't think he's sucking up- however he is a teen-a typical boy- keep a closer eye on him and find out whats making him tick? It may not be necessarily behaviour problems more as him having trouble dealing with high school- girl problems- understanding the work he is actually doing. Sit down and talk to him like an adult. You might be surprised...
2006-08-09 03:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by bugz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that was just a way of trying to make you melt . So the punishment wont be that bad . I have been there done that i have 3 kids and you would not believe the stunts my 17 yr old pulls . He/she still got bad reports and still has to deal with the consiquences. I mean he/she bribes you know and you let him/her of becouse of the nice gift that will teach that no matter what you do there is always a payoff . so if they go out steal or murder it's ok just pay off the judge and jury and he/she is home free.
values have to start from home and all leasons are learnd at home .
Good luck
2006-08-03 04:34:38 · answer #3 · answered by mary_llinas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things: I would first inquire of your son whether he had planned to give you a birthday gift regardless of his grade report. If he said yes, praise him for that because thoughtfulness of others is a valuable trait.
Then, tell him that you realize he hoped to mitigate the bad report by giving you the gift--which again you appreciate and are thankful for. However, the gift has nothing to do with his bad behavior and failure to pass those tests. Ask him what he plans to do to do better in the future, and how you can help him to succeed. But stress that his grades are HIS responsibility because they will affect HIS life in the future. Good luck!
2006-08-03 04:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The b-day gift was not a way of getting off the hook for the bad school report. If he is taking the courses over again let the report go. Concentrate more on his loving attitude and the fact that he loves his dad enough to remember your b-day.
2006-08-09 04:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by worried_mommy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just thank him kindly for the bribe, erm, gift, and give him a good ole fashioned lecture plus whatever it takes that you feel is needed. Hmm, really, tell him how much you liked the gift but also how upset the grades make you feel and how bad it is for his future and have a serious talk, why on earth he comes up with such results, that you're not going to be there always, bore him to death until he starts to understand at least a bit of the situation.
2006-08-03 04:38:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The gift was given in advance on purpose, of course, kids are slick! Boy, I don't know, I think I'd have to reprimend him more, or I'd be mad for what's called manipulation, nice try!, you definately need to address the issues, it is what it is, if you don't do it, he will get away with more later, or will even do things behind your back, especially because he is having behavioral issues.
It is so important to get this in check, behavior and attitude are everything as these are the two things that will form his character, what kind of person is he going to be when he is older, are things going to get out of hand? If you correct your son and give him the right discipline as well as education and teach him good things, moral values, examples, good manners, etc., he will thank you like you have no idea when he is older, kids these days are extremely spoiled, it's time to wake up and smell the coffee and put our emotions aside, for when things are right and don't get me wrong, I'm all for showing appreciation to a child and rewarding them the right way, but not for things that are certainly a responsibility or obligation such as getting good grades, good behavior and manners. These are the children of tomorrow, what kind of example will they be? What kind of individuals will they be in tomorrow's society, things are getting more difficult in this world, by the minute, so meditate on that. I know you love your child, true love sometimes must be tough.
2006-08-10 19:47:09 · answer #7 · answered by You are loved 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let my son know how much i appreciate the gift but tell him that is a whole different issue from his bad grades. I would treat them as different issues too. So he would still get punished for the bad grades. He probably is very cunning and gave you the gift in hopes of making you feel bad about punishing him. Kids are very smart.
2006-08-10 07:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by looking for answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if his intention with your gift was pure this time, maybe he's learning what to do the next time he's in a sticky situation. You can't teach him that kissing up will aleviate any consequences. The two scenarios must be handled separately.
Since its your B'day, is Mom around to do the dirty work?
If it were me, I'd have a wonderful birthday, enjoying togetherness and the gift, then over the weekend after the celebrations are over, tend to the other scenario.
2006-08-03 04:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if i was the son then i would first give the gift then wait a while and when he's in a good mood give him the report and run to your room but this method will not completely excuse you from your punishment but it will make it a little more comfortable
2006-08-03 04:35:11 · answer #10 · answered by exigomaster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. laugh. appreciate. then - ask what happened and why. maybe you just tell him that you need to talk about the report but right now you are just 'enjoying the moment' and appreciating your son's good qualities..before you all have to talk.
honesty and openness are ALWAYS the best way....and all those little notes and nuances he brings home may have hidden meaning that spending time with him will allow you to see without even having to talk about it all.
Finally - tell him that NO MATTER WHAT THE SCHOOL sends home, how he does on tests, what chalenges he faces, and what you all need to work on TOGETHER...you are with him and you will help him through....it is amazing that when you do this and show up at the school with your son to work it all out...it iwll be a long time again until you see these same note
happy birthday and happy father's day....all wonderful and fun!!!!
2006-08-03 04:33:49 · answer #11 · answered by 100%cotton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋