Adult children question for you:?

Question

Do you have a parent (who has all their marbles) but can/ does screw up a situation that normally would not have any kinks in it? Yes, I have one I'm just wondering if I'm alone!

Thanks for all the answers. Perhaps age is becoming a problem.(71) I do not want to be my Moms keeper. Is seems we get along much better if I mind my own business.

All of the answers were 10, so I will let you choose. Thanks again.

Answer 1

No, you aren't alone. There are a LOT of folks out there who can screw up a steel ball.

Answer 2

As an adult child who thought her mother "had all of the marbles" but was just acting a little out of the ordinary, let me implore you to carefully look at the situation and realize that perhaps your parent is beginning Alzheimer's or dementia of some sort. (age is not the key). Before we realized how my mother had Alzheimer's we always excused her sometimes odd behavior due to other things. I wish we had picked up on things sooner, rather than later. If your parent has always been one way and all of the sudden (or so it seems) starts to "screw" situations up, it could be for various reasons. If not physical, it could be due to being afraid of:
Being left alone
Not having enough money
Not being needed
and so forth

There is a point when we become our parent's parent. My heart and thoughts are with you as I know you are experiencing what many of us experience. Talk to someone - doctor, clergyman, friend of your parent, etc. You are not alone.

(((((hugs)))) and good luck!

Answer 3

No you are not alone. i am 43 and my Dad is still alive along with my mother in law. My Dad seems to get things messed up once and a while and I am not quite sure why. He was always a smart guy and still is. My mother in law seems to have lost the ability to do things on her own. Now she needs advice on things that used to be a quick choice for her. I'm sure there is a reason in both cases, and I know I will be there some day.

Tom

Answer 4

My mother could screw up the best situations, always has.She is the Biggest drama Queen ever.She would always wait until things were great and then start trouble.Like, one year, at Christmas she bought my wife (who was 8.5 months pregnant) a half shirt type sweater.Then said to my wife,"when you lose all that weight you should be able to wear that".It was my wife's first pregnancy and first Christmas with my family.She was mortified.A few years later, Christmas again,she didn't buy any gifts for my kids,wife or myself.All my brothers and their families exchanged gifts, but nothing for us.I found out through my brothers, my mother told them that I said I didn't want her to buy us anything.....I never said that.Just her way of starting $hit.I don't speak to her anymore.And I don't let her around my kids.
So ...no your not alone.

Answer 5

I know exactly what you are saying!
My father, bless his heart is your average 14 year old kid. Things can be going fine and he throws a fit, because it is not being done HIS way. We had a BBQ and he has to take over the grill because my husband is not cooking the way dad thinks it should be done. Once i needed to barrow his car for the afternoon mine was getting fixed and dad said no because it HIS car and in the same breath asks me to run to the store for him!
My mother spoils him and that makes it even worse. When she was in the hospital I had to go over and put is medications in the "weekly pill box" because it was to much for him to figure it out on his own. So he manages to put kinks in just the easy day to day tasks.
So, if it helps no you are not alone and think of it this way when our parents do go crazy WE Get to pick their nursing homes, so they better be nice!

Answer 6

Hi, my dad is 64 and he totally does things that are inappropriate. My mom died a year and 1/2 ago and I never noticed what a trouble maker he is until now. He says things that he shouldn't and does things that don't make a lot of sense. Because of this I am now in therapy to understand how I could have not noticed this behavior all my life. This makes all get togethers difficult cuz I never know what he is going to do.

Answer 7

Yes, I have a mother-in-law who in her own charming (but annoying) way regularly puts a kink into every family gathering. Whether it's a comment about the food, what someone is wearing, what someone said... she'll find something to be negative about.

Answer 8

Yes

Answer 9

My parents weren't like that, but my sister is for my niece. I know because I often function as the sounding board. And I had the dubious pleasure of spending a three day driving trip with them and got to witness it first-hand. Grin and bear it. Also take many deep breaths.

Answer 10

You're certainly not alone. There are many of us that have parents like that. I think it's a combo of us & them. It's us, cuz we have it all mapped out in our heads & we expect it to go smoothly & when something does not go according to our plan we get upset at the paren. It's them cuz they are getting older & they worry about lots of different things & they tend to forget a whole lot.

Answer 11

Don't fill up your mind with so questions, because each parent is in his way and you can never change that. Maybe you are not alone, but why not try talking to them and tell them what's bothering you? I think they'll understand you and start revising their behavior. :)