If you have attended a chruch for a long time, lets say 20 years since you were child, and you are going to get married. I heard that you were supposed to pay the preacher for performing the wedding. I thought that was part of his job and that was what the church was paying him to do. I remmeber when we hired him that on the job discription it included weddings and funerals. So why do I have to pay him extra for doing his job? I have given to that church ever since i had a job so I don't see why have pay him more.
2006-08-03 04:16:10 · 16 answers · asked by jssc.lynn 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
its not that you are paying the preacher, make a donation to your church. although I do see your point.
2006-08-03 06:12:59 · answer #1 · answered by badgurl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A fee for the service is given to the church. The preacher does not hoard it and "party" with the money. Yes, it is in the job description to perform these services. But, he doesn't keep the money.
When you give any money to the church, it is channeled to a general fund, unless otherwise noted. This money goes to support smaller ministries to maintain the upkeep of each ministry, whatever it may be ( Bible study group, youth groups, etc)
The money that you have given throughout the years has gone to support those ministries and some offerings have gone to support the church building expenses, lawn maintenance, utilities, cleaning, etc.
Your money in the past has been well spent, I'm sure, on expenses to keep the church alive! If the church is still standing after 20 years, it's good people like you that have made it possible! God bless you
2006-08-03 11:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paying "extra" to the preacher or minister or priest, etc. for performing a wedding or funeral is proper. Sometimes it is referred to as an offering or donation.
Performing weddings and funerals is a part of the job of the clergy. However, many are not paid well and the extra money is appreciated and needed.
I have been a member of my church for almost 50 years. I was baptized and married in that church. I have given money to this church just like you gave money to your church.
When I married in 1988, we gave a donation to the priest and to the altar boys for serving our wedding Mass. We also paid the pianist, the soloist and the trumpet player. We tipped the DJ and the caterers.
When we buried my mother in February, the priests who concelebrated her funeral Mass received stipends and personally written than you notes from us. Although, we expect our clergy and ministers to be readily available to do these services for us, it is also customary to give a little more for this service.
Remember, you are also paying for the electricity, heat/a.c. and cleaning of the church for your service as well. These fees may come out of the money you give your preacher.
2006-08-03 12:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by Malika 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak for my experience in the Catholic Church... Catholic parish priests are provided shelter, a stipend for food and necessities, usually medical insurance, and a small monthly stipend for lesiure spending. And it isn't much by most people's standards.
Funeral "fees" can often be waived depending on the situation. Wedding fees, however, are usually mandatory and the entire fee doesn't go to the priest. If a church has a $200 wedding fee, it also goes to paying for electricity, water, maintenece, etc.
Weddings and funerals involve time/energy/etc. outside and on top of their normal duties. Yes, it is a priest's job, but I have seen horror stories of very pushy families (not even the bride/groom) who bother the priest for an inordinate amount of his time when he is trying to do the rest of his job, including ministering to the sick.
Check with your church and ask exactly what the policies are for this fee and how the money is dispursed.
2006-08-03 11:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should donate a fair sum of money to the church. I think adjusting for the size of the church and the size of the wedding is also appropriate, if you're being married in a large, nice church with many friends and family, a larger donation is appropriate.
2006-08-03 14:18:05 · answer #5 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the first time I have EVER heard that, and frankly it's pretty sad. $50 per bridesmaid might be a fair gauge of how much money you seem to have. And half a day's pay from the richest surviving relative (y'all can split the cost) for a funeral.
2006-08-03 15:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are expected to pay the preacher for weddings and funerals. I don't know why, but that is the way it is.
2006-08-03 11:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a donation to the church. I made a $100.00 donation to my church on the day of our wedding. The preacher doesn't normally have a fee, just your donation is enough.
2006-08-03 11:28:15 · answer #8 · answered by brandiwhine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You donate to the church and that church decides what to do with the money unless the church wants it to be given directly to the minister.
It's customary and considered somewhat of a bonus considering what low wages ministers make compared to the time they spend sheperding their flock.
Clergy deserve extras too.
2006-08-03 16:21:56 · answer #9 · answered by exclusiveindigo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gave my Pastor a card with cash thanking him for doing my father's funeral. It took several hours out of his day. I think the same would apply for a wedding. It's just a way of showing appreciation.
2006-08-03 23:40:15 · answer #10 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋