Was I rude about this situation?

Question

I have a roommate coming today from Oklahoma (I'm in Texas) and he's going to be moving in. However, by the time he gets here, I will be at a memorial service (last minute thing that came up) He was worried about the key. He suggested that an ex lover of his come and get the key from me and that he would get the key from him so that it would give him an opportunity to "work things out". I told him I didn't feel comfortable giving my apartment key to someone I didn't know, and that I'd rather leave the key here with my g/f who will give him the key in exchange for the rent money and write him out a receipt. He didn't like that idea and got all mad that I would deny him the opportunity to patch things up with his ex, using the key as a reason for them to get to talk to each other. I just didn't feel comfortable with the idea and he kept pushing and finally I was just like "look, I'M not the one looking for a place to live. Do you think you could be a little LESS demanding?"

Ever since he's inquired about the apartment, he's been demanding about the internet service, about me being here to give him the key (it's like he almost suggested I skip my memorial service) and also was trying to get the apartment manager to stay in her office after 5 to give him the key. Was I wrong for being so rude and pointing out this demanding behavior? I mean I'M not the one looking for a place to live. Shouldn't he do what's convenient to MY schedule and not the other way around?

Answer 1

No you were not. You were doing the right thing by not leaving the key with a complete stranger, and why should you? Just because he is unhappy with it, then it's his problem not yours. You can't trust people these days and you don't know what will be stolen out of your room. You are doing the right thing by allowing someone you trust such as your gf to give the key and write a receipt. It's good that you document everything on paper, or else you might end up being on a court TV show like Judge Judy trying to sue someone for ripping your stuff off.
Always have someone sign something if you are going to be living with them. If they get mad then they don't respect that , then it's their problem.

Answer 2

You were absolutely right not to give the key to your apartment to someone you did not know! You were more than reasonable by making arrangements to have your girlfriend be there in your place.

You are looking for a room mate, not to fix him up with his ex! How do you know the ex would want to see him? How do you know they wouldn't rob you blind? It is his responsibility to get back with his ex - not yours. And it certainly was not the responsibility of the property manager to stay extra hours.

If this person is going to be your room mate you are going to have to set up rules and stick by them. Don't give in.

I have a feeling you won't be room mates for long. I'd start looking again. Maybe put out an anonymous ad on craigslist.

Lastly, absolutely do not skip the memorial service for this person!

Answer 3

You are absolutely in the right!!! You don't need to let someone else add drama to YOUR living space before they've even moved in!!! If I were you I'd have to rethink the whole situation at this point... Sounds like a very demanding and unreasonable person from the things mentioned... Good luck! (someone who's been through roommate hell once)

Answer 4

You should both compromise with each others schedule. Yes, he is looking for a place to live but you are looking for a roommate and with him comes his rent check. I understand it's your place but if he is going to be paying half the rent then he has all the right to know what he is getting into. About his relationship....don't let him get you involved. It's not your problem if they can or can't work things out.

Answer 5

Yes you were rude, but so was he. The guy seems to try to manipulate everything to his advantage. I'd be pissed off and worried too. But don't take it too seriously, moving is one of the top most stressful things in a person's life (death is another) and it looks like the both of you might be under some pressure. He especially seems to want to surround himself with the familiar like ex-lovers and you do too. I'd be quick to forgive, but be aware of this first argument and watch out for future manipulations.
Incidentally, your idea is the best, if the guy had any courage he'd find another way to work things out with his ex.
Good luck

Answer 6

I don't think u were being rude. I can understand u not wanting to give your key to someone u don't know. I also agree thatt he was being a little too demanding.

Answer 7

You are about to get a roommate who is going to annoy you every day with his rude expectations that your life should revolve around him and that you should drop everything to help him out. Run away! Don't sign the lease! Find someone else!

Answer 8

YOu are not rude in that kind of situation..And you are probably right to point it out that he should be little LESS demanding..Tell him that you are not comfortable with his idea...Then if he doesnt agree with this...well open it up to the apartment manager in this case!

Answer 9

if I were you I would think about how his behavior is going to play a role after moving in, you werent rude but.....you should take his actions as you see them and find a different roommate, atleast you found out before he actually moved in..... if not I have a feeling we are going to be answering alot more of these questions....

Answer 10

You aren't the rude one here. If I were you, I would seriously think twice about allowing this guy to room with me. Sounds like more trouble than it's worth.