why is it so hard to like nice guys that will break there back for anyone?

Answer 1

There's a fine line of being a nice guy and a guy to take advantage of.

I have a nice guy but he's not going to let me walk all over him.

Be nice but take a stand!

Answer 2

You can't respect them. Guys who will bend over backward are not respectable, because instinctively you will think they won't protect you, their property, or their offspring. Unfortunately, a guy who is nice to a women is giving off this non-confrontational front, when in fact he would destroy anything that would endanger the things he holds dear, women just don't see that.

This comes down to the basic human instincts which are defined by the ancestorial human needs/wants. Women want a man that can provide resources for her offspring as well as good genes and since the nature vs. nurture argument is still up in the are, behavior is interpreted by our subconcious as genetic, and nicety is then seen as a genetic weakness when it is in fact an upbringing issue.

Answer 3

Ah, because that's not nice. That's stupid. It's one thing to break your back to help out someone that needs help or a friend of yours. But if you'll break your back for anyone then you get used. A doormat is not the best partner.

Answer 4

We're all taught from an early age not to be too proud or conceited. Also, many of us have developed self-esteem issues as we grow up. When you meet someone who is really good to you you kind of think subconsciously, "what is so wrong with this person that he is so willing to accept me as I am?". I compare this to something Groucho Marx used to say, "I would never belong to any club or organization that would have me as a member". Essentially, we tend to view people that put so much effort into making others happy as being desperate to be liked. We assume (at least subconsciously) that there is something wrong with them and that is why they have to try so hard to please others and be liked. That's my theory. I've spent alot of time thinking about this because I am one of those people who likes everybody and is super-easy to get along with, however this has been pretty worthless as far as helping my love life, in fact, women seem to lack respect for me because I am so easygoing. On the flip side it's common knowledge that many women like "bad boys", men that are at least mildly disrespectful topwards others. Unless this happens for the opposite reasons described above (because we think someone who doesn't seem to care what others think, must have a reason for being so confident), I really don't understand why this is true.
If you have reason's for wanting to like this guy, I suggest you get to know him well enough to see that he doesn't have some flaw that makes him try harder to be liked. You'll find as you spend more time with him that you grow to like him more and more. Help him to see that he'll be accepted as he is (by you) even if he doesn't try super hard to please you all the time. I think you'll both learn alot from this and you'll see he's a good guy despite your first impression of him. Good luck and keep an open mind...

Answer 5

I don't know if I clearly understand what you mean by "breaking there back for anyone," but, here's my take on what I think you mean.

Girls like nice guys, but no one wants a doormat who never stands up for themselves or their woman. It's okay to be nice, but being too nice is a turn off. I personally would not like a man who said "Yes Honey" to everything I wanted. He comes across as a follower who has no ideas of his own. I like it when a man takes charge and makes decisions. I like to know that I can turn to him for help and support. I see him as my protector.

Don't confuse this with treating your woman like a queen and putting her on a pedestal. A man can do that and still not be a doormat. A woman likes it when a man takes charge and puts his foot down about things. It's like a challenge.

It's okay to be nice and go out of your way for people, but don't do it to the point where you are a pushover and people treat you as if they can get over on you.

I personally like a man that is very nice to me, but also has a backbone. I don't like to date the "bad guy" who is into trouble and in and out of jail. I like a man I can take home to meet the family. So as long as you can be extra nice yet still maintain your manhood and a backbone, there are alot of women out there dying to have someone like you.

Answer 6

Because, nice guys, just like good girls, are marriage material. The average person goes for a person they can have fun with, let their hair down with, and not bring home to mommy, while they are in their early 20s. Once people become mature and ready to settle down, then they begin to look for that "wifey" or "hubby" material, then the good girls/men come into play. It's hard to be put on the backburner for a wild and crazy person, but in the end it all works out...unless you're just plain ugly. :) I kid, I kid.

Answer 7

Because breaking your back for everyone will make you look like a suckup and a weakling and no one likes suckups. There is nothing wrong with being nice but if you continue to break your back for anyone people will just use constantly and never like you.

Answer 8

nothing wrong with being nice! too nice I learned is really bad. I used to be that way until the girls made me a dick. girls like guys that are MEN! not some guy who caters to every whim she cries. that ***** will cheat. there is a fine line with nice and man. learn to be both and you will have success. learn to say no. lern to take charge, and not ask for permission is it ok if we eat here? im not saying be a possessor but share and if she wont then tell her PEACE the **** out.

Answer 9

Danger or 'badness' is really an attraction for even the most timid girl.

Nice guys are generally (wrongly though) perceived as weak, dry and pushovers.

Answer 10

Because women like to take advantage of nice guys and like to cry for and get sex from bad guys that do them no good.