He is 20 months old and came to stay because he was ill. His parents do not live together, they both live 1500 miles from us. He needed a lot of attention and special care but is better now and it's time to take him home. His Dad came to visit for a few days during his stay with us. I am worried about how he will do emotionally when I take him home. He has become very attached to us and I know it will be difficult for him.
My plan was to take him back and stay with him at my son's house for the first 2-3 days, letting my son gradually take over his care. Then I plan on moving into a hotel for the next 2 days and visiting him at his house. His mother will visit and see him over that same time period and get him re-aquainted with him. He will be living with my son. I think this is the best way to help him through the separation. My boyfriend thinks I should just take him and come home the next day, he thinks it will less painful for us this way. Any suggestions?
2006-08-03 03:34:03 · 10 answers · asked by theresa b 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You have the right idea. The child is too young to figure out how to adjust on his own. He is too young to really understand what's going on. You are his safety net right now. So long as you are there to support the exchange and smooth the road for his parents then it should be a lot easier for the child. But, plan on a difficult time for yourself to adjust. I applaud you for taking the time and effort to care so completely for your grandchild. You are a wonderful mother and grandparent! God Bless You!
2006-08-03 03:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mary J 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think your BF is right..I know you got attached but its your sons baby and his responsibility..I know your a mom and want to help but he should be old enough to step up to the plate and hold his own....as far as you being attached and you are staying because u are going through a real emotional deal with leaving the baby...Yes, i think you are just dragging out the pain. I am in the military and there has been tI'mes where I have been gone for up to 2 years..its hard to come home and then leave again after only being home for 2 weeks...but about an hour or so after you leave...you realize that things are going to be fine...I think you should just drop off the baby...give the child a kiss and a hug and go home..Keep in contact..im not saying drop the child out of your life ...don't be afraid to make a phone call....good luck :)
2006-08-03 04:16:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, both are good strategies although....Your boyfriend's decision does sound best...I know it will be hard but Cold Turkey may do the trick. Drop him off, say goodbye (treat it like he's visiting them) and go home...Yes you all will be emotional during the first couple of days (and) weeks possibly...but the longer you stay the harder it will be. And of course you know that you can visit your grandson on holidays and just because...So it will all work out in the end. You sound like you're very loving and that's what matters most. So even calling him once you get back and talking to him on the phone (whether he can talk or not lol) is A.O.K. Good Luck.
2006-08-03 04:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by ameliawht 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its going to be hard for all of you. Keep the communication line open. I would do just what you are saying but I would add phone calls into it. Make visits less and phone calls more toward the end of stay.
2006-08-03 03:43:39 · answer #4 · answered by Tammy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at that age you are RIGHT !!!!!
give him time to adjust back to parents. sometimes it may take a little longer but if you are willing to do the right thing and call him often after you get home. even if he can't talk he needs to hear your voice. and when you stay at the hotel call him (the baby) so he can hear your voice. and can get use to the idea he can still hear you even if he can't see you. tell your boyfriend you are doing it for the child and to stop being selfish and to support your ideas.
2006-08-03 03:55:53 · answer #5 · answered by montanamom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a plan to me. I wouldn't just vanish, you have been MOM and omg, I can't even imagine what it would do to him if one day you were there then gone.
You formulated a plan that answers the Mom in you...and be sure to keep in touch. You're going to miss each other and you will both need the comfort.
Good luck!
2006-08-03 03:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by sarhibar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, you have already thought of the best way by doing it gradually. Pull out a picture of mom and Dad and keep repeating Mom and dad to him.
2006-08-03 09:04:09 · answer #7 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your idea is best. You might also want to give him a picture of yourself. I do that for my daughter when she goes for the summer. Maybe you could even call him once a week. Good Luck!
2006-08-03 04:25:27 · answer #8 · answered by mamacat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the boyfriend is just selfish and more worried about you being in the same state as your ex-husband. Screw him, do what is best for Jake..oops I mean the baby. HAHAHAHA
2006-08-03 07:39:10 · answer #9 · answered by andrea b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE WAY YOU HAVE IT PLANNED IS PERFECT, WEAN HIM LITTLE BY LITTLE, YOU ALREADY HAD THE ANSWER TO YOUR OWN QUESTION, YOUR A GREAT GRANDMA!
2006-08-03 03:38:39 · answer #10 · answered by helper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋