what should we do?

Question

Last night My son had his friend over to spend the night (both 9 years old ). My wife and I were down stairs watching a movie and I went up stairs to check on the boys. When i walked in My sons had his penis in the other boys mouth ( this is not a joke question, this has really happend ) My wife and I are frantic. we called a family counselor today because my wife and I do not know what to do or think. I took the other boy home and told his mother what had happend and this morning the police were at our door wanting to ask me what I had walked in on. I was already at work and there going to talk to me tonight. What should we do?

My wife wont calm down. I Try to tell her that we need to be calm about it and she starts screaming about being the mother here and that I dont understand. How should I handle this?

Answer 1

LOL!I'm sorry,This brings me back to a time when I was 10 and I spent the night with my neighbor who was a really good friend but had a younger brother.We played truth or dare and I dared him to stick his thing in his brothers mouth and he did but when he did his brother bit him and it bled and everything.I guess what I'm trying to say is that it could just be a faze but I can't believe she would call the cops and can not controll her family on her own.Boys try and experience everything when theu are right around that age.Just cuz we have not heard of it before it's only because we didn't catch it before.I gaurintee that this will blow over,Good luck and again I'm sorry the other mom is too imature to handle this on her own and couldn't just talk to you about it.

Answer 2

It sounds like you've done everything right so far...taking the boy home, telling his mother, and calling a counselor. It's quite possible that the other mother is over-reacting about the situation. The other answerers are correct...be honest with the police and tell them you are taking the appropriate actions as a parent. It could be kids being kids, but of course, there could be some underlying problems that you and the counselor can investigate.

I'm so sorry that this has happened. It's a very difficult situation to deal with, I'm sure. Make sure you write down the entire incident so you don't forget any of the details and give it to the police. Make sure they know you are taking this seriously and taking the appropriate action.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

Oh goodness.

First off, there is nothing wrong with a child turning out to be gay. (If that's what this is? Maybe it's just curiosity?) BUT there *IS* something wrong with a 9 year old being sexually active!!!!!

Did both boys appear to be willing participants in what was going on?

Definately make an appointment with the counselor.

Try to stay calm when you talk to your child about what was happening. Ask him open-ended questions so he can't just say "yes" or "no" when you're talking. Try NOT to make him feel like he's being interrigated though. Ask why they were doing this/where they got the idea/etc. Is there any chance one of them has been sexually abused in the past?

Be honest with the police about what you saw.

Breathe deeply and try to stay calm. This may be difficult, but you will find your way through it.

Answer 4

Be truthful of the whole situation. If you are too nervous to answer it will make them think you are hiding something. Also, early sexual behavior this explicit is a sign of molestation either your son or the other boy may have been molested or forced or let to watch porn which is a form of mental molestation. In any case your son would most likely be questioned by child welfare and you should get him into some type of counseling. Not that he did anything bad, but you have to know where he seen this, if it was done to him and for the other boy also.. Something is going on there do not blame your son.

Answer 5

I used to work in a home for abused and neglected children. The majority of the children in the home had been sexually abused. From my experience, when boys experiment like that, 9 times out of 10, one of them has been sexually abused in the past. Find out from your son who started it, who suggested it and where they learned of the idea. DO NOT call a lawyer, because the police will see you immediately as guilty. Why would you get a lawyer if you have nothing to hide? However, if CPS does get involved, get an attorney before they even talk to your kids. CPS has a way of blowing things WAY out of proportion. They also have a habit of taking kids out of homes and asking questions later. I hate CPS and the thing is with them, once they get a file on your family, they will ALWAYS have a file on your family. Just be honest with the police, and if CPS gets involved, then get a lawyer. Don't be surprised if CPS shows up at your child's school. They are sneaky like that.

Answer 6

Talk with an attorney, first. These situations can escalate and once CPS is involved, they become more difficult to manage.
Your son may appear like the aggressor, as the act was being performed on him. He may become the focus and there will be concern that he's experienced some abuse. Older children in the household will be interviewed. While helping your son is primary, you must also protect your family too. Begin by know your rights. Call now.

Answer 7

First of all I do not no why the police are involved. This seems more like two young kids exploring themselves (having fun). Okay its sexual fun that their a little young for, but I believe this situation was blown out of proportion. As for the cops tell them that. IT was just the two kids doing something that's not necessarily right, but not wrong ether. The cops will probably see it that way. Besides, there is no law against this. Also I try to figure out were they found out about blow jobs from.

Answer 8

Answer them truthfully and without reservation. They're 9 years old.. and they're curious.. while it's natural, you as the parents (naturally) will blow things out of proportion.. just answer the questions and have a talk with your son.. don't make him feel like what he did was bad or wrong.. you don't want to cut his self image into pieces, but talk to him about sex as if you caught him with a girl.. tell him about choices.. be the parent in this sityation.

Answer 9

Tell the truth and the whole truth. Its normal for children to experiment with each other more girls experiment with girls than boys with boys. Some often feel ashamed though, because their parents are too hard on them when they're younger about finding themselves and all this. Don't scare him, just tell him it's not appropriate to do that.

On this website you'll find questions asked by children about this same topic and others: http://www.puberty101.com/p_amigay.shtml

Answer 10

This is probably something they saw on tv or heard about somewhere that they were acting out on. Be honest with the police. There is nothing that they can do to you. I think it would be best to keep the boys away from each other for awhile.