What should I do about my family gossiping about my life?

Question

When I talk to some one in my family about my relationship with my boyfriend or maybe just a problem that I have they tell everyone else and it causes big problems because they interpret it in a totally different way. My family and my boyfriend stay into it because they think he's really bad to me but he isn't they just took what I said and twisted it. I figured that they only know what I tell them and that I shouldn't tell them anything. Can any one help.

Answer 1

I went through the same thing girl! Don't EVER tell ANYONE ANYTHING that happens in your relationship! They will use it against him. Because what happens is, you get mad at him, you tell your ma, your mom gets mad at him. You end up making up with him, but your mom still hates him. Stop telling people ****. It is your guys's business, unless you want everyone to hate him, STOP! I had a b/f who did that to me too. He would tell his parents and friends everything bad about us and they ended up forming their own opinions on me and it caused a bunch of drama between us all. I told him he better check himself and stop telling our business, he did. Everything is great between he, I and the family now since he stopped bringing them in our problems. We are getting married and expecting our first child in October. Keep your business in your house. You wouldn't like it if your man told everyone everything you did messed up would ya? Aiiiiight then! Good luck girlie!

Answer 2

Perhaps your family is twisting it, or maybe they have a genuine concern about you and this boyfriend. Maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship with him or have a heart to heart with some close family members to get an outside opinion.

On the other hand, maybe they are simply twisting things and blowing things out of proportion. In this case you should confront them about this, let them know, then do not make the mistake of confiding in the wrong family members.

Or simply ignore them...maybe they will get bored with the gossip. If it is bothering you though, I would definitely confront the problem rather than ignore it. Or think about the first note, maybe there could be something wrong or possibly wrong with the relationship between you and your boyfriend.....maybe your family is very concerned about you in a loving way. Hard telling without knowing you, your family, or your boyfriend personally.

Good luck with this though, hope it works out the way it should!

Answer 3

Tell you r family that they shouldn't talk to each other about your problems because if you talk to a certain family member about your problems there is a reason. Also try say positive things about you ans your boyfriends relationship that way when they gossip they will be saying things like he makes her so happy or she loves him so much...etc try not to just talk to your family negative things. Make sure everyone knows your happy with your boyfriend now and yes you and him have problems just like every relationship and you have a nought sense to know if he is treating you. So you exspect to beable to talk to your family without them twisting this around and telling everyone! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

Well i know that it is very nice to talk to your mom or a family member you trust. If they gossip and its causing problems then you need to not tell them. dont hold it in though . tell god instead hes the only one you can be 100 percent sure isnt going to gossip about it. Let your family think what they will about your boyfriend . only you him and god know if he is bad to you . If he is you really need to get out and make him stay out of your life. You can also tell your family that you do not appreciate them gossiping about you. if they cared at all they will stop.
Good Luck
KOco

Answer 5

Absolutly nothing, or better yet, Give them somthing to talk about. If your life is so important to them that they have nothing better to do than get involved with your life----Think how sad their lifes must be.. To be fair though, when our loved ones perceive a "relationship" as being a bad one, that is for their loved one.. It usually is. Love is blind and it is our loved ones who we trust, that we should be able to go to for some outside view points.. I am not saying this is true in your case, but hey, it is worth a look. Also, try to be happy that at least you have a family that loves you enough to care.. Sure, it can be a pain in the butt, But at least you have them.. Though if they are the real nosey type, I say give it too them. Leave a note lying around talking about a big drug purchase, or being pregnant, or being involved with some big crime, or running away to get married.. Go streaking in your local town and GET CAUGHT... I actually did this one and it was great.. Anyway, good luck

Answer 6

Yeap! The less you tell your family about anything the better off you'll be! Trust me! Join a yahoo group for support and advise the longer you are in the group the better the members will get to know you and the better there advise and support will be.

It is going to be hard especially when they ask you who things are going or what you are down in the dumps about but just tell them oh nothing and I am fine, it will suck tremdously but my husband and I had to do thins as well to both of our families and now they just can't stand not knowing what is going on, it is getting better b/c they are finally getting used to it and now there is no gossip or lies... Moral of my story it was mine and my husbands own fault b/c we went to them to begin with, now that we don't we have less problems...

Answer 7

You're right about not telling them everything about your relationship. Unless he is abusive or has destructive habits. Because they would be very concerned. they do love you and are protective. However, if you tell them about spats with him, they will not only not care for him, they will remember it long after you have forgotten it and wish the heIl they would!

Your boyfriend has a right to be pi*sed off if you blab stuff to your family. That's assuming that it is'nt about abuse or something major. Your BGF or a trusted older friend would be a better confidate for you. Hope this helps, annie Bee

Answer 8

I would say not to share things with them anymore -but considering that you sound kind of young - maybe you should listen to some of what they are saying. Sometimes we get blinded in relationships that are bad and can't see it until it is over - but if you really feel like they are being hateful- SAY something. We are only on this planet for a short time - you should communicate with your loved ones always.

Answer 9

I think you should talk to some friends rather then family. Family can be pretty deceiving and also a bit jealous at times...depending on the type of family you have, I've seen some awful family few eds and it was Pretty ugly...Just try telling your Friends more so than ur family....see if that helps...

Answer 10

The only thing you can do to stop the family from gossiping about your business is to NOT give them anything to talk about.

If they gossip, why keep talking to them about your b/f and your problems?

Find a good TRUSTWORTHY friend who can be objective to listen to you when you want to vent and can still respect your relationship.

Answer 11

you can still tell them things but tell it only as you want it to be heard , if you think they didn't get the situation ask them if they do or just tell them in a different way. if you feel you cant trust them anymore because of their gossiping problem then just tell them very limited things , tell them as you would a stranger pretty much , its hard to do but i find its the safest thing to do. of you can try confronting them as to why they do these things and if they are willing you can get them to go to a family counseling thing to make them more understanding of each others situations. hope this helps.