We love each other, are really compatible and we make a great couple. We have been dating on and off for 6 years...I told him I was ready for the next step when we hit our 3 year mark and he said that he wanted to wait because he just got out of school...so now 3 years later, I brought it up again...and he says that he knows we are gonna get married, but doesn't understand why I am in such a rush...he also says he wants to save money...but he has had a cushy job for 3 years...I am sure he has saved a lot since he puts a chunk of his $ in his retirement fund...so what do I do? How can I get him to see I want a future...I want to be married? Am I being selfish? I waited 3 years for him to ask...how much longer do I wait?
2006-08-03 01:46:33 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We don't live together he is in his late 20's and I am in my mid 20's. Also, he says he knows we will be married by 2010...which is another 3 or 4 years, based on his financial planning...and I dunno if I want to wait that long. I mean if he knows we will be married by then, then why not get married next year during our 7 year mark of dating?
2006-08-03 01:48:43 · update #1
We have been dating since I was 19...and we have been through our share of good times and bad...and I am not after his money... I am gonna go to Med school later this year...so its not about $ like the guy says below...I just want to know if there is a future or not!?!
2006-08-03 01:56:41 · update #2
6 years is more then long enough to know if you should get married or not. He is obviously afraid of something because if he wants to spend his life with you he shouldn't have to wait until 2010. Sounds like he likes things the way they are. You deserve to be with someone who wants you to be a total part of his life. He is the one being selfish not you. I would seriously end it. I mean the point of dating is to find someone to spend your life with. Don't wait, tell him you are done, that you need more and if he can't give it to you then you are not meant to be together. Either he will let you go, in which case you will know what he really wants or he will refuse to let you go and marry you.
2006-08-03 01:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by Constant_Traveler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just to let you know women are more aggresive about getting married because they love being in a relationship. Guys on the other hand care more about making the money and being secure. I think you might be a little selfish I mean he did say he wanted to marry you. If it keeps up too long or you meet another guy move along if you feel it is the right thing to do.
2006-08-03 09:08:12 · answer #2 · answered by The Master 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, wait for him. If you left him, it could take you that long to find another guy, get to know him enough to marry. It sounds like he's pretty responsible, and just wants to be sure you'll both be in good financial shape before your marriage. Please don't try to rush him into it, he'll end up resenting you for it, and you'll have a lot of money related arguments because he doesn't feel financially ready to be married.
2006-08-03 08:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by ~-~-~-~-~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should live together before you get married. Maybe that is the next best step to take? See if you can live together first instead of after you are married and having to get a divorce lol
2006-08-03 08:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by femalefromuk19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him that much, you'll end of waiting. But you do have to think, am I just wasting my life waiting? Or do you think being with him is where you should be? These are the questions you need to ask yourself before you make a decision. Love is everything, there is nothing greater than love and if you know for sure he is the one, you'll know what to do.
2006-08-03 08:57:25 · answer #5 · answered by Cait 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit with him, try to convince that money can be earned even after marriage, if you think the present earning is enough for both of you to lead a decent life. i hope the age you said is the right to get married and settle down, but if he is not convinced, go for an alternative, again waiting for 3-4 years and if for some reasons if its postponed again you will be depressed!!! so think, decision is your!!!!!!
2006-08-03 08:57:04 · answer #6 · answered by senthil r 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why rush it.. if he wants to save money there is a reason for it.... And if your about to leave him because he wont marry you then you have issues... or 60% of relationships go downhill after marriage so why rush it
2006-08-03 08:53:39 · answer #7 · answered by Meriah C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont rush on getting married i was with my bf 9 years before i got married and now i sometimes think should i have done this..i dont think i was ready been married now 4 years and i told him a few times i want out.so dont go rushing anything i was 27 .
2006-08-03 08:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by browneyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him and you know he loves you then i think it's worth waiting for. not everyday will you hear someone say that they know they find their soulmates. finding your soulmate can be very hard. if you love him and he loves you then true love is worth waiting for. think about it this way if he was ready to get married and you werent, would he be forcing you like you are kinda doing to him??? it's not that you are being selfish, you are just in love and you want to marry him and be with him forever, there's nothing wrong with that. talk to him, see why he really wants to wait and then you hace to decide if he is worth waiting another couple of years. also think about it if u move onto someone else its going to take a couple of years to get to know that person. think about it
2006-08-03 08:59:30 · answer #9 · answered by michelle s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
darling u scaring the hell out of him,he will always find an excse even in 2010,stop acting desperate,if yo man was ready,he would have married u but his NOT
2006-08-03 08:56:04 · answer #10 · answered by lady x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋