What do you do with a wife who keep comflicting with your relatives and friends?

Answer 1

she's your wife right? she comes before all of them. when you married her SHE became your family. you signed on...now you have to work it out with her.

Answer 2

It's funny but the moment people say "I do" they become a target for everything under the sun telling them..." I can't", "I will not..." "I don't"...and the very infamous...."I won't"!
My suggestion is communicate. Always start with your wife, remember, she's not just the woman in your life...she's, believe it or not, a part of you. You are both one. Talk with her and let her know how you're feeling, then find out from her what are her feelings towards your friends and family and your relationships with them. Then pray about it. Asking God to help is not a bad idea. It really helps in every relationship. Then communicate with your friends and family in the presence of your wife. Marriage is tough but with God's help, good communication and a determination to work things out it can be a wonderful thing!!
Never forget Love is a decision not a feeling...

Take great care of each other and put no other person above the other.

Praying for you.

SARAH

Answer 3

As a lot of people have already said, your wife became your immediate family when you married, hence, everybody else is now your extended family and takes second priority.
Although there is no conflict, my wife's and my families always offload their drama / crisis / worries / problems on us and it becomes tiring. If you truly love your wife, you should both have made the concious decision to 'first-and-foremost' work toward creating the life you want together.
On the other hand, your wife should understand that you are stuck in the middle and at least be civil to your family etc. so as to make life bearable for you.

Answer 4

I have the same problem with my husband. He has a certain male friend (from childhood) whom is married to this girl that I cannot stand. The thing is that my husband loves this people and loves to hang out with them.
This girl make these comments about me that I want to kill her. I try to avoid her as much as I can. I just tell my husband to go and hand with them, that I will stay home with the baby.... I truly cannot stand this girl.... Everytime we are in the same room, she does not miss the opportunity to make this hurtful comment about me. My husband tells me that she does not mean anything by it, that that is just how she is.....

My advice is, listen to your wife. Ask her why she dislikes your relatives and friends.... listen to her and dont question why she dislikes them.... just accept her answer and try to comprise with her. Come to a middle ground where both of you are comfortable and happy. It is not worth it that you guys are hurting your relationship becuase of third parties........ that is what makes me mad the most! That is why I think I f***** cant' stand the girl.... everytime we talk about her, we end up arguing..... and that my friend, it is not fair!

Just like sarah stated above.... do not put anybody above your loved one.....

Answer 5

It's important that you tell her in a calm, but clear way that it truly hurts you whenever she shows disrespect toward you family and friends. Ask her if they are doing anything to cause her to behave the way she does. And then really listen to her response. If she has no real reason for her negative behavior then all you can do is to ask her to stop. Tell her that out of love for you, it would mean a lot to you if she tried to make an effort to get along with the people in your life who you hold close to your heart. On the other hand, if your family and friends are causing her pain - then you need to talk to them and stand by her.

Answer 6

I am with sweetiepie. This is your wife. When you chose her, she became your primary family. Perhaps, she feels that you have too much of yourself tied with your family. Or your family involves themselves too much in what should be your lives. Don't forget the Mother/Daughter-in-law relationship is the most fragile. It is the husbands job to deflect criticsm from both sides.

Ask your wife, why? But then be sure to listen and not be argumentative. There is always a solution, sometimes we have to dig deeper to find it.

Make your wife number one.

Answer 7

Keep them separate. Realise than if you wife cant fit into your family then she should stay away til she can.
Maybe you should have considered this before marrying her.
Friends and family are more important than women because they will be there for you no matter what.
Harse but true.

Answer 8

Is your wife willing to do separate things away from your friends and family? Do you and her get along otherwise? Do you have a family that is constantly "butting in"?

If you and your wife have an otherwise good relationship, then discuss with her the possibility of her avoiding your family and friends. Try to find a balance together, where she allows you to do things with them, while she does other things. However, make sure that they are not always chosen over her.

This works for my husband and I. We have been married almost 26 years.

I go to weddings, funerals, parties, etc. alone. (One of my cousins even asked if I was still married because he never sees my hubby!)
Hubby goes to car shows, fishing, etc. with his friends.

works for us, maybe it can work for you, too

Answer 9

Wife comes first - however perhaps she's just doing this to get more attention and affection from you. So give her some quality time and see how it goes.

Answer 10

just talk with her and give some suggestions and advice....it is difficult for a husband that how to handle this questions..? sometimes this one is main reason for quarrel between both of them....so tell her that be matured and live simple with relatives and friends if she does not like my relatives and friends then be ignore them or behave like a simple normal relations ...

Answer 11

I am doing the same thing to my husband right now. I just don't like his family. And they haven't done anything awful to me, they are just not my kind of people. I am totally devoted to him, I love him so much. But I just don't get along with his family. They are so different from mine. He won't even talk to me right now because of it. I have tried, I really have, but he doesn't believe that. The thing is that I hardly like anyone. So if I don't want to be around someone, wouldn't it be easier if they didn't like me either so they wouldn't want to be around me anyways? That's how I see it anyway. And since I am like that wouldn't he have more fun not having me there if he is only going to get mad at me for how I act? Why try to force me to be there if he would have a better time without me? I never ever make him hang out with my family, or anyone else. He is around someone because he wants to be, not because he has to because of me, I would never do that to him because I wouldn't want him to do that to me, but he is!