2006-08-02 23:34:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I'm in the uk and only just found out about Jeff Foxworthy. Love his humour!
2006-08-03 06:48:45 · update #1
Actually, unknown to many non-rednecks, being a redneck does not mean you are the stupidest type of people on the planet. Rob G, your last two are all wrong. Paper and pen, yeah we've mastered that. Second of all, you don't neccesarily have to be American to be a redneck. My friend, who is South American, but now speaks perfect english with no other accent, is pretty redneck-ish.
Now for my jokes:
You might be a redneck if...
you stare at a can of orange juice because it said "Concentrate"
you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side
your finest silverware says "McDonald's" on the handle
your wife's hairdo has ever gotten caught in a ceiling fan
your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
your lines can be seen from aerial photographs
your neighbors think you're a detective because the cops bring you home 3 times a week
somebody tells you that you have something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is
you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner
your wife says she's game and you shoot her
your dog passes gas and you claim it
you've ever taken beer to a funeral
Hope they make you smile!
2006-08-03 00:47:34 · answer #1 · answered by Brian.E 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
10 ways to tell if you are a redneck
10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive).
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".
2006-08-03 07:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by kissesandhugs36 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take two mirrors; while holding one in front of your face, hold the other behind your head and tilt until you get the right angle to observe the neck area through the first. Look closely and decide the color you are beholding.
2006-08-03 08:39:26 · answer #3 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you work without a shirt and so does your husband...you might be a redneck
If you go to the famiy reunion to find yourself a wife..you might be a redneck...
If you ever opend up a can of beer during a eulogy....you might be a redneck
2006-08-03 17:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by Darkness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your shirt collar is always stained red?
You live in a caravan/trailer.
Your aunt is also your girlfriend.
You are american.
Paper and pen are complicated modern tools to you.
2006-08-03 06:43:00 · answer #5 · answered by Rob G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your house is held together with Duct Tape.
2006-08-03 07:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Using a clever system of mirrors.
2006-08-03 06:40:15 · answer #7 · answered by Vix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ppl start calling you Britney Spears.
2006-08-03 06:38:48 · answer #8 · answered by Je♥n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you sit on the toilet untill your legs go to sleep...thats a sure sign!
2006-08-03 06:39:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you go to family reunions to meet women.
2006-08-03 06:40:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋